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Wednesday, January 04, 2006

Footy Players Spread Goodwill

It seems our overpaid sporting heroes have celebrated Christmas and kicked off the New Year in predictable form with a series of drunken bashings and assaults across the country. No word on any rapes yet, as sadly the clubs would still be negotiating hard behind closed doors. Below, we cover the two most serious miscreants: Simon Goodwin and Heath Black.

The first incident, just prior to Christmas, saw a murder of Adelaide Crows launch an extended drinking bout at pub Raglan's (co-owned by Speccy favourite Wayne Carey). Players still drinking in the mid-morning included Mark Ricciuto, Rhett Biglands, Ben Hudson and Nathan Bock. And, of course, Simon Goodwin. Witnesses reported misbehaviour ranging from "play-fighting" in the streets to throwing beverages on a parking inspector. Things turned ugly when a photographer from the Tiser, Tait Schmaal, showed up:

When [Simon Goodwin] noticed Schmaal, Goodwin approached and shoved the photographer before attempting to snatch his camera out of his hands.

"If you run any photos, I'll kill you," Goodwin said to Schmaal, who asked: "Is that a threat?"

Goodwin replied that it was.

The current Crows club champion then pushed Schmaal against a wall and pressed his forearm against Schmaal's throat.

"You're f...ed if you run this," Goodwin said to Schmaal.

Raglan's co-owner Rob Kent had to pull Goodwin's arms away from Schmaal.

Mark Ricciuto also told Advertiser reporter Rebekah Devlin that no Crows players would deal with The Advertiser if the incident was publicised.

Biglands and Scott Welsh tried to defuse the situation - Welsh physically restrained an agitated Ricciuto and Biglands attempted to convince Devlin not to publish the pictures. (The Advertiser, 23/12/05)

In my book, that's at least assault and making threats to kill. Very serious matters. Not to mention the dubious blackmail attempt. While statements were made, police are not taking this any further. Oh, and by the way: does anyone know if it's even possible to drink continuously until 11am the following morning without taking drugs? If you've ever managed this, I'd love to hear from you.

Simon Goodwin Spreading Christmas Cheer
Source: Adelaide Advertiser

So, in light of this team-wide tanty and bout of drunken violence I propose the team is renamed the Adealaide Crowes. After our Rusty. Yep, they sure are 30-Odd Football Grunts, without an Ordinary Fear of the Law.

On a high note, it seems the legal system is actually catching up with an AFL player in the New Year! Even more bizarre: the police service that managed this feat was the notoriously corrupt Western Australian force. Of course, it makes more sense when we note that it was one of their own on the receiving end of footy player biff, and not just a humble citizen.

Fremantle Docker Heath Black has been bailed and will face the Magistrates Court this Friday after his Day at the Races, in which a police officer was allegedly assaulted.

Black was arrested and charged with assault causing bodily harm, obstructing police officers and assaulting a public officer. (The Age, 3/1/06)

Nice work, Heath; maybe you should avoid beating cops and restrict yourself to smaller fry. The cops will turn a blind eye to most things, but not assaults on their own members.

*** UPDATE ***

Just in case anyone was in doubt that bad off-field behaviour could have career implications, Simon Goodwin has been named Adelaide Crowes captain.

That's right, "drinking" until 11am and then making threats to kill is not an impediment to taking the most senior player leadership position at his club. Goodwin's appointment highlights just how much of a joke these positions really are. After all, if threats of murder aren't enough to cast a pall, what about a recent footy gambling scandal? Might that place a question mark over your judgement and leadership potential?

Nah, it's just a footy club and the captain is entirely divorced from decision-making in the modern game. Do you think Ronald McDonald sets corporate strategy at Maccas? It's the same with these bozos. No one takes it seriously. (Unlike the role of "spiritual leader", which actually does have an influence on the players, as we've seen further west.)

Citations: The Advertiser, 23/12/05; The Age, 3/1/06

Word Count: 556

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  • Mate, you are a bit of a tool aren't you? You seem to take a lot of perverse pleasure in reporting these stories. I thought the article about the girls from the Brownlow was really well thought out and original; who would have thought of bagging attractive women for being dumb, GENIOUS!

    It must be handy to not have to back up anything you say with facts. A few links here and there do not constitute proof I'm afraid.

    I don't know what you do, but I have a feeling it isn't much! You take great delight in lording it over the players for their stupidity; unfortunately mate, I'm going to have to break it to you that a lot of your grammar and prose is just sub-standard. Really hurts the faux-intellectual image you're cultivating here. Shame.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 3:37 pm, January 09, 2006  

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  • Thanks for sharing your thoughts, DannyBoy.

    I just re-read my piece on Brownlow chicks and no point did I comment on their intelligence (or attractiveness). Sure, I talked about what it takes to get to the top with the grooming, the dieting, the judicious selection of partners etc. But I never said they were dumb. Perhaps you're projecting your own assumptions on to me?

    As for fact checking, I'm afraid I have to rely on the newspapers for my material, with other sources cited where possible. Any original reporting or research is not really possible, as I'm sure you must appreciate. Expressed opinions - not facts - are my own. In case it escaped your notice, I'm not a journalist and so I'm not bound by any code of conduct other than the defamation laws.

    However, I am happy to take grammar tips from someone with a demonstrated capacity to use correctly the semi-colon. (I'm serious - this is a lost art and you have the knack.)

    So please back up what you say with facts and point out my sub-standard grammar and prose and baseless facts: self-improvement is my passion!



    ps I'm not your mate until you shout me a beer. Perhaps the next time I'm in Tassie ...?

    By Blogger Greg, at 4:55 pm, January 09, 2006  

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  • Hahaha very amusing rebutle greg to dannys comment.
    Most likely the guys were on some enhancer, possibly coke. But i myself have drank till 12 the next day purely on alchol and no drug assistance. It can be done but i know from personal experience too, drug assistance does help.

    I really find alot of these articles very facinating and enjoyable to read. No doubt you will have a lot to write about the wayne carey issue , i believe he has been assaulting his girlfriend again.


    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 8:22 pm, January 28, 2008  

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  • Yeah, let's not get ahead of ourselves here. Sure, it looks bad, given Carey's history of sexual violence. Not to mention the (withdrawn) allegations of earlier domestic violence involving the pair.

    But let's wait for the details to come out before jumping to any conclusions. After all, it's looking like Carey called the cops to turf Neilson out.

    We'll have more to say about this later.

    By Blogger Greg, at 11:20 pm, January 28, 2008  

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