Didak Misbehaviour a Shaw Thing

Just a few weeks after coming off his "special provisions" contract, troubled Magpie Alan Didak has been unmasked as the secret passenger yet again. No, not in a "hell-ride" involving a drug-dealing murderous Hell's Angel, but in Collingwood's growing Heath Shaw bingle scandal.

But let's back things up. Alan Didak has been a frequent subject on this blog, notably for his 2006 public blue with then-girlfriend, glamazon model Cassie Lane and his confrontation with a taxi driver that saw him charged. (Incidentally, this event caused Collingwood to win the betting pool in the Aussie Rules Misbehaviour Market.)

But what really gained Didak notoriety was his friendship with Hell's Angel Christopher Wayne Hudson. His resulting lift home from the Spearmint Rhino strip club - with shots fired out the window, including at police - and visit to the Hell's Angel's headquarters came to light a few days after Hudson later horribly beat a stripper (Autumn Daly-Holt), shot another one (Kara Douglas) and shot two men who came to their assistance (solicitor Brendan Keilar and Dutch backpacker Paul de Waard). Sadly, Mr Keilar passed away.

Didak attracted criticism for his friendship and association with Hudson, his reluctance to come forwards and his somewhat hazy recollection of events when questioned. That weekend Didak was booed by the crowd in what was possibly the Collingwood cheer squad's finest hour.

As a result of his repeated and accelerating poor judgement, he had special clauses put on his contract with Collingwood, ensuring that he stayed off the booze and kept to a curfew. This for a 25-year-old grown man with a six-figure income! Sadly, these juvenile measures seem to have been necessary. Just a couple of weeks ago, the clauses were lifted as part of Didak's new $800,000 contract. Now we have this.

(You can see why Carlton's Brendan Fevola - himself no stranger to a bingle scandal! - is resisting efforts to have similar "behavioural restrictions" attached to his contract. They actually work.)

Heath Shaw - a relative clean-skin - got pissed on Sunday at a suburban pub, Hawthorn's Geebung Polo Club. He then drove home (at 0.15 BAC or three times the legal limit). Remember, this is a man with a large income and his own free, priority taxi service. Predictably, he ploughed into two parked cars, causing damage and waking the neighbours.

While Didak was spotted at the scene, the pair denied he was in the car. Club president, Eddie McGuire, took that at face value and defended Alan Didak with the memorable line that he "will be accused of the Kennedy shooting next". Of course, the truth emerged within hours and with it the reality: these men had tried to lie their way out of a bad situation.

After humiliating the club and casting a pall over the credibility and competence of Eddie McGuire, they're gone. Alan Didak has been fined $5000 and Heath Shaw has been fined $10,000. Shaw's brother, Rhyce Shaw, has been fined $5000 and suspended for two matches for drinking late on Sunday. Most importantly, Didak and Heath Shaw have been suspended for the rest of the year. Here at The Speccy, we commend the club for taking a decent, sensible and forward-looking stance.

While criticised by some commentators as "a ridiculous overreaction", this indeed sends a powerful signal to players. No, not the bit about getting hammered and driving your car. Hey - many, many players have done that and escaped sanction. It wasn't even the lying about it bit - after all, Scott Thompson's incident also involved a few hours of the who-was-where-doing-what game before the truth came out. No, it was lying to the club and making Eddie looked like a fool that did them in. Headlines like "Magpie lies humiliate McGuire" (Macarthur Advertiser) are just not acceptable given McGuire's, um, tenuous and difficult position at Nine, as failed CEO and TV presenter-sans-show. He can't afford to look like a patsy at this crucial stage of his career.

But just in case we were in any doubt about what exactly the sins were, former club captain Nathan Buckley spelled it out:

Buckley told Radio 3AW this morning that Shaw and Didak's lies were "unforgivable".
"For those players to be out from a football perspective six days before a game, when they have had an eight-day break is just unacceptable and then to top it off by being dishonest to the people in an environment where you rely on honesty and you rely on trust is unforgivable,'' Buckley said. (The Age, 5,8/2008)

Drinking on a school night. Check. Telling lies. Check. Oh, and the drink-driving/jeopardising others' safety part? Well, unless they ran over another listed Collingwood player, I'm not getting a strong sense that Buckley has thought about that too much. Gotta admire his focus, if not his morals.

Another former club great (and uncle of Heath and Rhyce), Tony Shaw, put his oar in by pointing out the effects of a footy club's ingrained tribal rules and over-arching commercial imperative. He also has a sense of where the problems lie:

Tony Shaw earlier told Radio 3AW that by covering for Didak, his nephew had "picked the wrong person".

"I think Heath deserves everything he cops in all ways from the club but the one thing about it, the lying part, there's no doubt there's an unwritten law within footy clubs that you look after your mates and unless they do something that physically harms someone or something against the law ... maybe Heath did the right thing in one way in helping out a mate but he probably picked the wrong person to do it for,'' he said.

...

"I'd be pretty dirty if I was Heath.''

The club legend said the administration had not handled things properly.

"I the (club's) just trying to make an example and they haven't set the scene prior to this - Eddie (McGuire) will tell you I've rung him a number of times about different players doing different things off the field for nearly four to five years and I think that the protectionism that Eddie's trying to give the club to save their image in fact is detrimental to the very thing that you try to build and that's the culture," Tony Shaw said. (The Age, 5,8/2008)

It's certainly food for though and while it doesn't diminish the culpability of Heath Shaw and Alan Didak, it does go some way to explaining how this cultural problem can be tackled. Hint: Eddie McGuire (and his ilk), with their spin and cover-ups and master media manipulation, are part of the problem.

Let's not forget that it was just two years ago that we saw the terrible Chris Tarrant-Ben Johnson car park assault that left a young man in hospital with severe head injuries. Let's recall how Eddie responded to criticism that the two players would be allowed to represent the club the following weekend, rather than face suspension:

"We're playing for the finals and they owe us. They're not getting the night off, you don't get a day off when you're playing the top side in a big game. They owe their supporters and they owe their teammates and they'd better get a kick." (The Age, 3/8/06)

And let's also recall the so-called Malthouse Doctrine, whereby the really good players become beyond reproach:

"The fact that Chris and Ben are crucial to the on-field success of Collingwood has influenced my decision. Had they been youngsters on the fringe of selection, I might have thought a playing ban was in order.", [said Collingwood coach, Mick Malthouse]. (The Age, 4/8/2006)

Perhaps this is the kind of behaviour Tony Shaw had in mind when he made his comments? In any case, public sentiment has shifted a lot in two years and I doubt that even McGuire would try this "they owe us" line again.

So we've had two players fined and suspended for the rest of the year. The Collingwood Football Club has taken steps to ensure that these two players will behave better in future. More to the point, by taking on the pain of absenting two promising young players, they've signalled that the club is prepared to take a long-term investment view when it comes to player discipline. For all this, they are to be congratulated. It's just a shame that it took lies and deceit to trigger this response, rather than the selfish, criminal, stupid and dangerous act of drink-driving.

Citations: The Age, 5,8/2008; The Age, 3/8/06; The Age, 4/8/2006

Word Count: 1466

Tags: footy, booze, court, traffic

Interview: Kade Carey

In this Speccy special, we present an interview with the convicted footballer, Kade Carey. Carey - nephew of the notorious Wayne Carey - gives a somewhat guarded insight into the mentality of today's young footballers. While he's never played at AFL level himself, he got close and knows the scene intimately. He's also no stranger to strife, having been found guilty on violence charges stemming from the infamous Federation Square bashing incident in December 2001.

[Editor's Note: This interview was conducted in the weeks before Kade's "Bad Uncle" Wayne Carey got caught up in his most recent allegations of domestic violence, celebrity drug parties, assaults and foreign court cases came to light. As a courtesy to the Carey family, publication of this interview was delayed several weeks.]

The Speccy has been following the Fed Square brawl and trial since 2005. Kade Carey (Essendon, VFL), Dane Swan (Collingwood, AFL) and Aaron Ramsay (Williamstown, VFL) got drunk and, while at Federation Square, Carey kicked off a brawl that resulted in a number of people being hospitalised. Apparently, he threw himself on the bonnet of a passing car, breaking the windscreen. Evidence was presented at trial that he then lead the beating of a cleaner and three security guards, that he kicked a guard until police arrived, and that police had to use capsicum spray to subdue him after he threw a punch.

After several years, the three were finally found guilty at trial. Carey received a suspended sentence, a $3,000 fine and 200 hours of community work. Swan and Ramsay were also convicted, but escaped the suspended sentence and fine and had to do 100 and 120 hours respectively of community work. The judge's sentencing remarks ephasised their provocation. Naturally, we were outraged. Here was a blatant example of the worst kind of thuggish footballer behaviour going more-or-less unpunished by our legal system.

About two years after the verdict, Carey got in touch with this blog via a comment he left in January, 2008. Since this was a prime example of the kind of behaviour (and response) that we've railed against for some time, I seized the opportunity to do an interview, to take a journey into the heart of darkness. After thrashing out some ground rules, Carey agreed.

Naturally, I was concerned for my physical safety. After all, I had repeatedly and publicly described Kade Carey and his mates as thugs, dickheads, idiots etc. Other commentors had described him unflatteringly too. (For what it's worth, he had his apologists and I was abused with far worse threats and insults.) And let's not forget, he has prior convictions for violence and his Uncle Wayne to gave character evidence on behalf of (now slain) underworld hitman Jason Moran. His father, Dick Carey, is hardly the shy retiring type either.

So we agreed to an email interview, with some caveats around legalities (especially defamation). Of course, I can't be absolutely certain that my correspondent really is Kade Carey. I've satisfied myself of his bona fides and he's given me no reason to doubt his assertion. So what follows is the transcript of that interview, where Carey's responses have been lightly edited by me for spelling. The interview took place between 10th and 17th of January, 2008. Carey's response to this post is underneath.

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Interview

The Speccy: The media reported you as being a VFL player for Essendon, but not in the AFL. How did you get into footy? What's been the highlight of your career to date? Where is your career presently at and what are your plans?

Kade Carey: I started playing footy in Wagga for the North Wagga Saints when I was very young. My father coached the seniors there and with Wayne playing in the AFL it was an easy choice. I moved to Melbourne when I was 16 and started a glazing apprenticeship. I then went on to play with the Calder Cannons for two years. The second year I was lucky enough to play in a premiership, that was certainly a highlight. Unfortunately I didn't do well in the draft, and the best I could do was a [support] list spot at Essendon, which means I'm only on the VFL list. I am currently playing in the EDFL for the Doutta Stars.

The Speccy: So is it fair to say you've been brought up in the footy culture? Was there an expectation growing up that footy was your future? Is the AFL still on the cards? Oh, and did you finish your apprenticeship?

Kade Carey: Footy culture? Your interpretation of footy culture and mine, from whatI have read in your blogs, varies a fair bit. Obviously footy was a big part of my younger years, it was all around me, so yes I always played football, at school, at home, and on the weekends because I loved it. It still is a passion for me but no there was no expectation for me to make the AFL from my family or friends,only myself. It was my goal to make the AFL when I moved to Melbourne, but I started working as soon as I arrived and always intended to make a career for my self, regardless. Yes, I have completed my apprenticeship, and am still working for the same company. I think I gave up hope of playing in the AFL after my court case and all of the bad media surrounding me and my friends. I still play football because it is something that I enjoy doing.

The Speccy: The Federation Square incident was reported as kicking off when you ran onto the road and jumped on the bonnet of a passing car, driven by a young woman, breaking the windscreen. You were then apparently verbally abused by the passenger before being dobbed into the security staff at Fed Square, which is where things got violent. To my knowledge, the public has never heard any explanation or account as to why you smashed that windscreen. Can you recall what you were thinking at the time? What do you think about it now, some four years later?

Kade Carey: The incident with the car and the three young ladies, I've been replaying in my head for the last four years, and I'm still not any clearer on It. You have heard their version of events. From my recollection I just got out of a taxi at Fed square, on Flinders Street. From the video it shows that myself and Aaron Ramsay have a little wrestle and I stepped onto the road, from there the video cuts out. The next thing I remember I was on the ground. The girls said that I ran at the car and jumped into the windscreen 'body-slam style'. I doubt that very much, I would never purposely jump onto a moving car for no reason, I doubt anyone would. The girls said that they were not moving, but the security guard who was patrolling that area, told the court otherwise. Though he said he didn't see what happened, he heard the tyres of the car skidding. I remember the girls getting out of the car and start yelling at me, I told them it was not my fault, but they insisted It was. They were screaming abuse at me and I remember looking at Swany, (Dane Swan) and he didn't want any part of it for obvious reasons. So we just simply ran off because we didn't want any dramas. However looking back on it now I take full responsibility for what happened with the car.

I should not have been messing around near the road whilst under in influence of alcohol. And obviously I should have stayed and waited for the police to sort it out. The situation only got worse from that point on.

The Speccy: The Herald-Sun reported that you "initiated the fight, beating up a cleaner and three security guards with the help of his two mates." It also reported that the "court was told Carey resisted attempts to arrest him, punching a police officer in the face before being subdued by capsicum spray." The Age also reported that a witness "told police that two of the men had stopped attacking the security guards but the third had continued kicking a guard until the police arrived." I think there was one bouncer and one cleaner hospitalised. During sentencing, the judge acknowledged that you were "provoked", while Swan and Ramsay joined the fight to help defend you.

Did you dispute (substantially) this version of events in court? Did you plead guilty to the charges? What was the nature of this "provocation" the judge referred to?

Kade Carey: What happened next was, we were running along the river. Dane was way out in front of myself and Aaron. I was about 20 metres in front of Aaron and he yelled out to me to wait up for him. I stopped and walked for a bit to wait for him. When he caught up we just kept walking. All of a sudden we heard people running and yelling at us to stop. There were from memory five security guys, or bouncers, as they are known. And one other man who I was told after the incident was a cleaner. And the girls following them. At this stage Dane was about 200 metres ahead of us. I remember thinking we are so out numbered by these guys, we are going to get bashed. All the bouncers surrounded me and I felt threatened. I told them to leave us alone. It has nothing to do with them, because we were not in Fed square. I told them to piss off and get out of my way. They said they were not going to let me leave, they then all walked in towards me. (This was all on camera.) I reached out and pushed one of the bouncers. That is when they all attacked me and got me to the ground. Dane must have seen it from where he was standing, and came running back to help me. I remember covering my head up when I was on the ground. I looked up and seen Aaron tackle the bouncers off me. I got to my feet and just started fighting, anyway I knew how. I remember being hit pretty hard with something, but I was that fired up I just kept fighting. When we got the video of the fight, it turned out I had been hit in the head by a mag light. Which is a big police torch, by the cleaner. Which he admitted in court. The three of us ended up getting the better of them. Dane and Aaron started running I didn't see them leave. The police turned up and I took off. One of the officers tried to tackle me. I never punched the officer, just tried to break the tackle. That's when I was arrested.

Unfortunately for us it was a committal hearing so we didn't get to tell our story. From the witnesses evidence we were ordered to stand trial, surprise surprise. We had it on good advice that we had a very strong case. However to this point already I had spent $20,000 in legal fees, and was told that it would go close to costing us another $40,000 each. This put myself and my father under a lot of stain. So I had to plead guilty for financial reasons. It should also be noted that the chargers of assault by kicking [and] assaulting police were dropped. We all pleaded guilty to affray, and I pleaded guilty to criminal damage, for the car.

I suffered a burst eardrum and two black eyes. Aaron had a massive cut under his eye. In hindsight we should have charged them. We were told we may be charged, but we thought it would blow over because they were fighting just as hard as us. We were not charged till one year later.

The Speccy: You mentioned your Dad helping you out. Over the couple of years it took the affair to play out, what sort of support (emotional, financial or otherwise) did you get from your club, mates, employer and family?

Kade Carey: The support I got from everyone around me was awesome. My employer was fantastic, he was happy to give me the time off that I needed and actually came to court to support me. My family were great and my girlfriend's family were just as understanding. I think this was because I am very close to my friends and family and they knew that this situation was out of character and was something that should not have happened. Without my father looking after me financially I wouldn't have got through it. People think cause my last name is Carey, that I'm well off. I assure you I'm not. As you can probably tell this has not only impacted me but also the people around me and forced me to put my plans on hold. Even now I'm still paying for it.

The Speccy: You didn't mention your club. AFL players have no problems accessing lawyers, advisers and publicists when these things happen. Does this support extend to footballers on the VFL list too? If I recall correctly, you and Aaron Ramsay were playing the VFL at the time while Dane Swan was in the AFL. Do you think this off-field incident impacted on your on-field selection and advancement?

Kade Carey: Not at all for myself and Aaron. It was the off-season and had no impact on us. But we both felt for Dane he was copping it from all his peers, but he took it all in his stride and didn't let it bother him.

The Speccy: You mentioned getting "bad media" before. What sort of coverage did the incident itself get? (ie just newspapers, or radio and TV news and current affairs too?) What about the court cases? Did you do any interviews or put out any statements or otherwise try to influence what went on?

Kade Carey: The incident was reported in all the papers, on the news, and on the radio, and for obvious reasons it was all bad. No, we didn't do any statements or interviews, although I wanted too. My lawyer told me not to worry about it. So I have until I come across your blog page. Just seeing what everybody has wrote about us, without knowing what really happened makes me mad.

The Speccy: Obviously it was going to be a news story. What surprised you about the coverage? Were your friends, family or employer worried about the negative media? Did the "Carey" factor play a big role?

Kade Carey: Everybody who knows me was worried about the negative coverage. I was portrayed as a thug and that is not true. Obviously I wouldn't have even been mentioned if it wasn't for my last name. It surprised me that it did get a bit of coverage, but in saying that the media these days are just waiting or even praying for a footballer to get in trouble. I would hate to be an AFL player at the moment, the way it is now the guys have no lives.

The Speccy: The papers referred to some convictions prior to this incident, suggesting it was for violence too. Have you kept out of trouble since the suspended sentence? Is it still hanging over you? Is being out of the top-tier of footy making it easier to stay out of trouble?

Kade Carey: My prior conviction was also for assault, it was a very minor incident that happened in Wagga when I was 17. I actually didn't even throw a punch but was convicted because I was a part of an affray. Yes, I've kept out of trouble since the suspended sentence. I will never put myself in that situation again. The sentence finished in August last year, but if you ask me it will be with me for the rest of my life. Apart from this incident I've never really been in any trouble and don't plan to be, regardless of what level of football I'm playing.

The Speccy: Earlier, you said you think that the media scrutiny means AFL players "don't have a life". In light of their large (and rapidly increasing) salaries, the media work in the spotlight, being kids' role model etc, what do you think is an appropriate level of scrutiny? What "life" would footballers have without the scrutiny (ie what would they do differently)? You also indicated that you don't believe your incident would have made the papers if it wasn't for your surname. What do you think the media would have done with the story if you'd had a different surname?

Kade Carey: One thing I cannot stand is people shooting down elite sportsmen or women about there salaries. To me that just sounds like jealousy. They have worked hard and are obviously good at what they do, so good on them. I'm sure we all wish that we could do the same. A lot of the time footballers are not to blame. It's the dickheads in the bars having a go at a Chris Tarrant, just because he's Chris Tarrant and they support Carlton. Then they taunt him by saying something about his girlfriend. Put yourself in that situation. Happens every weekend. If anything was to come of it Chris would be blamed for it. Firstly by the media, then the public. AFL players can't enjoy there lives socially as well as everybody else, which is disappointing. I don't know one footballer or even heard of a footballer that goes out looking for trouble. If I had a different surname I'm sure the media would have pinned the blame on Dane.

The Speccy: Looking back on the incident and its aftermath, what advice would you give yourself, especially dealing with the ongoing legal and media situation? What surprised you about how people reacted? How would your life be different now if you hadn't jumped on that car?

Kade Carey: The advice that I would give myself would be, think before you act. That would be the main thing. I have learned a lot from this dilemma. I never said that I jumped on the car, but if it all never happened - who knows. I'd like to think that I would have purchased a home somewhere, and maybe have had another crack at making the AFL. I know one thing for sure, I wouldn't be sitting here having to explain myself to you.

The Speccy: On The Speccy, I've painted an unflattering picture of you as a dangerous violent thug. I've also criticised the legal system for being too soft on you. Both of these points feed into a bigger theme that our community tolerates off-field bad behaviour from footballers because of their on-field talents, and that we'd all be better off if they were held to a higher standard. How would you respond to the specifics of your behaviour? What about the more general pattern of people being too quick to excuse if someone is good at footy? Do you think the average AFL player is happier and better off now than in the 80s, when most players had jobs?

Finally, is there anything else you'd like to add about the incident, the aftermath or this website?

Kade Carey: The game has changed a lot since the 80s; it is extremely demanding these days. Some clubs train up to three times a day, four days a week. But there are still a lot of players that do have part time jobs. Some even find the time to run there own businesses, or do apprenticeships, to set themselves up for life after football. I don't know about being happier I'm sure the boys would love to only train a couple of times a week. What I find strange is when I [did] my community service I met some interesting people, real criminals! I met one young man who had just held up a service station with a knife. He told me it wasn't his first time. He had 50 less hours than I had and no fine or suspended sentence. Work that one out? I asked around and found out everyone's stories, what they had done in there past, and why they were doing community service. Most of them were drug dealers 2nd, 3rd, and 4th time offenders. Most of them had less hours than me. I told them what I was sentenced to and they all laughed and said that I got punished hard. None of them knew my last name. Everybody should be held to the same standard, regardless of who they are or what they do.

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Analysis

What surprised me most about the interview was the absence of open hostility towards me, this publication or even the articles I wrote. I'm sure Carey's not happy about it and there's more than a few digs in that direction, but credit where it's due: no threats and insults and a measured - even reflective - tone throughout. (That said, I've left instructions with my solicitor should I suddenly disappear one day soon.)

I was also interested in the financial impact and what that meant for his work and family. In this, I expect Carey's case differs from most the high-profile court appearances we cover here. Thirty grand in legal fees is a lot for a glazier, but a mere piffle for a professional footballer earning on average $250K a year.

However, it seems to me that Carey is downplaying the impact of his actions on his victims. Sentences like "I got to my feet and just started fighting, anyway I knew how." (translation: "I kicked people in the head while they were on the ground") and "The three of us ended up getting the better of them" (translation: "We bashed people so hard they ended up in hospital") betray a certain lack of empathy. And Carey's assertion that the only reason it made the papers is his surname also shows a lack of understanding about how the community views violent brawls in public spaces. His experiences while on community service also show up some warped values. Dealing drugs versus going on a rampage that hospitalises people with "serious injuries, including eye socket, nose and wrist fractures"? Come on. Let's get some perspective.

I find the notion of someone defending AFL in-pub thuggishness by bringing up the example of Chris Tarrant perplexing. I mean, this guy is a pin-up boy for AFL thugs! Whether he's playing for Collingwood (involved in vicious car park assault) or Fremantle (obnoxious arse-baring followed by head-punching), the man is clearly out-of-control and a problem for what remains of the game's reputation. Even hardened AFL apologists are embarrassed by him. Why anyone would bring up his example just seems nuts to me.

Lastly, Carey's views on AFL players with their part-time jobs, apprenticeships, businesses and higher education just seems to be two decades out of date. These days, it's sponsorship deals, "Playstation Syndrome", hanging out at the salon and wasted educational opportunities. The reality is that AFL players are getting treated better than ever with skyrocketing incomes and celebrity hero-worship to boot. Sure, a lot of footballers would love to keep the money and drop the scrutiny, especially if it means getting away with taking more drugs more often. But that ain't gonna happen.

Perhaps the best thing that can be said about this whole fiasco is that Carey has paid a price for his "moment of madness" and subsequent violence. Is it just? I don't know, but I'm sure he's had plenty of chances to ponder his actions as a result of the court case. Let's hope that his tale serves as an effective warning to others following on the same path.

Carey's Reply

As part of the interview process, The Speccy offered Carey the right of reply to this article. He initially accepted this but, for reasons best known to himself, has chosen not to follow through. Perhaps it's related to a Carey family media blackout, arising from Uncle Wayne's ongoing personal, legal and publicity problems. However, like everyone else, he is welcome to comment.

*** UPDATE ***
Another chapter has closed on this long-running saga, with one of the victim's of the three footballers settling with them in his civil suit:

Former cleaner Claudio Celano had sought at least $200,000 in damages from [Magpie Dane] Swan, Kade Carey and Aaron Ramsay after he was injured in a fight at Federation Square in December 2003.

The parties agreed to a settlement yesterday in the County Court, removing the need for a retrial. The terms of the settlement were kept confidential. (The Age, 2/9/2009)

From the above interview, I doubt Celano would have gotten much from Kade Carey. Dane Swan, on the other hand, must be worth a few bob ...

Word Count: 4123

Tags: footy, bashing, booze, court, culture

Drink-Driving Pie Blows Sponsorship

Drink-driving Collingwood rookie footballer Sharrod Wellingham blew a big number on the weekend - $500,000. That's how much his recklessness has cost the Collingwood Football Club in lost sponsorship from the TAC. While this raises questions about the club's culture, it also throws into sharp relief the bizarre practice of our State Government insurer giving free money to wealthy footy clubs.

The facts of the case are very straightforward: Last Saturday night in Lorne, on Victoria's Surf Coast, 19 year-old Wellingham blew 0.13% while driving. He has lost his licence for 12 months and his club fined him 10% of his salary.

Of wider import is that Collingwood has now lost its seven year sponsorship deal with the TAC (Transport Accident Commission), a State Government-owned insurance business. It is most well-known for running advertising campaigns to reduce traffic accidents and paying for rehabilitation for injured parties.

After an earlier incident involving Collingwood's Chad Morrison's drink-driving offence in April 2006, the TAC had Collingwood on notice: one more traffic-related incident and it would be finished. The TAC had good reason to worry as a year earlier they tore up their sponsorship deal with Richmond over Jay Shulz drink-driving and speeding. It was always a risky play, with Collingwood having a long history of unsound attitudes to driving. Speedster Cameron Cloke, for example. Or, more tragically, the feted Darren Millane, who killed himself in a alcohol-fuelled traffic accident.

Eddie Presents Yet Another Really, Really Sorry Footballer
Source: The Age, 10/1/2008


Naturally, the miscreant in question is full of remorse for his stupid and selfish act. And he's got club president and game-show host Eddie McGuire working the media on his behalf:

Fronting a media conference with Wellingham yesterday, McGuire said: "We have to make a stand and not make excuses.

"That we have transgressed means we've forfeited the right and the privilege of being associated with the Transport Accident Commission."

...

"There's no excuse for driving a car under the influence of alcohol, whether you're driving it 10 miles or 10 metres," McGuire said.

...

After apologising to his team mates and the club, Wellingham fronted the media yesterday to make a public apology.

...

"I've made a silly error in judgement and I just want to be able to move on and make this a turning point.

"I did the stupid act of getting in the car thinking 'I'm only moving it 150 metres, it's not going to make a difference, I'm fine, already made my way home after the night out'," Wellingham said. (The Age, 10/1/2008)

Notice how Eddie simultaneously stresses that there are "no excuses" and then manages to work in an excuse ("hey - he's only moving it a few metres to avoid a parking fine")? Kind of like the American politician who publicly refused to use "attack ads" - but then showed the ads to some journos. It really is a pleasure to watch McGuire operate. Here he is at it again:

McGuire said his club and the AFL were taking steps to ensure players acted responsibly – especially when it came to alcohol.

“Sharrod himself has given up drinking,” he said, before pointing out that he had “good people around him”. (AFL Bigpond, 10/1/2008)

Yep, some of those steps towards responsibility include ... buying a pub. (Read former Age diarist Jonathan Green's account of this odd move.) And some of the "good people" around Wellingham presumably include Lance "Buddy" Franklin of Hawthorn, who was in the car with him at the time. With the Sunday Age reporting in December that Buddy declared himself "off his chops" in a nightclub (they generously interpreted this as meaning he was going vegetarian), more time spent in Buddy's company should make Wellingham's no-alcohol pledge fairly easy ...

In any case, the impact of losing the $500K will be modest, given that the club is extremely wealthy even by AFL standards, reporting a profit in excess of $2M last year. Eddie will talk up the damage, but, in reality, it amounts to less than the salary of one top player.

Which brings up the question of why the TAC is sponsoring a group of people who regularly feature in the press for breaking our road rules: drink-driving (Shulz, Morrison, Ottens), fleeing booze-buses (Cousins), losing control of hoon-wagon (Gardiner, Teague). Remember, this is a group of people with their own free priority taxi service (with secret direct number). And, occasionally, police chauffeurs (with lights and sirens too, if you don't mind).

The TAC collects money compulsorily from Victorian motorists and then fritters away up to a million bucks a year in ensuring that AFL players are given the maximum exposure when they inevitably break the law. It's disturbing that despite two similar sponsorship agreements failing in the same way within a couple of years, the TAC plans to push ahead with a third attempt. Is it a case of third time lucky, or do the TAC staff just enjoy the corporate hospitality that comes with the deal?

Perhaps the most charitable spin that can be put on it is that, absent a plausible stick, the threat of taking away the million-dollar carrot motivates players (via their employer) to take the traffic laws seriously. While that works for one club at a time, the other fifteen have the certain knowledge that the million-dollar carrot will be shopped around every couple of years, so they keep their players in check too. If this is the case, then it's a sad indictment of footy culture that the Government has to bribe them to obey the law.

*** UPDATE ***
Showing that this Collingwood drink-driving incident is hardly a one-off, Port Adelaide has also demonstrated the fundamental inability of footballers to accept that road rules apply to them too:

A Port Power AFL footballer has been banned from driving by an Adelaide magistrate.

Forward Nathan Krakouer, 19, was caught driving unregistered and uninsured at Pennington in Adelaide's north-western suburbs on September 6 last year, and again four days later.

The teenager represented himself in court, telling the Magistrate he was unaware the registration had lapsed when he was first caught speeding.

Krakouer was fined $100 and ordered not to drive for the next two days. (ABC, 14/1/2008)

So, no rego, no insurance, speeding and then getting caught again a couple of days later? A $100 fine and a two-day ban? It seems that Krakouer's belief that road rules are for others is well-founded.

While Port Adelaide was never in contention for the TAC's bundle of our free cash (presumably they'd only sponsor a Victorian club), it highlights the stupidity of such funding arrangements.

*** UPDATE ***
It just doesn't stop. More selfish recklessness from footy players on the road, making it three in a week. Premiership player Steve Johnson has been picked up for the most gross speeding you could imagine: 128 km/h in a residential 50 km/h zone:

Police have impounded Johnson's car and he faces the loss of his licence for 12 months after he was clocked Wednesday night at 128km/h in a 50km/h zone.

As they did a year ago, Geelong's players will again play a major role in deciding a club penalty for the star forward. But unlike last summer, his career with the Cats is unlikely to be in jeopardy.

Teammate Shannon Byrnes was also in the car at the time of the incident, with the pair on the way to Eastern Gardens golf club in Geelong.

“We are extremely disappointed that Steve was found to have exceeded the speed limit in this manner and we are thankful that Steve, his passenger Shannon Byrnes or any other people were not injured,” Geelong chief executive Brian Cook said in a statement.

“We know the risks associated with speeding and speed is a major cause of road crashes in Victoria.

...

The players will meet within a week to discuss what penalty they want for Johnson this time.

“The club will consider the possibility of further sanctions over the next week which will include discussion with the player leadership group,” the statement read. (FoxSports, 17/1/2008)

Yes, this is the same Steve Johnson who was involved in a drunken incident in Wangaratta around 12 months ago, resulting in his arrest (which he tried to keep secret). Coming on top of earlier police attention for his drunkenness, the last major incident saw him voluntarily suspended by his club for five matches.


Steve Johnson, what a winner. 80 km/h over the speed limit.
Source: Herald-Sun

Let's just remind ourselves of what the club said about this troubled character at the time:

“Steve has been given numerous chances and it is fair to say that he is now down to his last opportunity to prove that he wants to stay with the club. (Geelong FC Statement, 8/1/2007)

Given his performance in the Grand Final, does anyone doubt he'll be getting yet another "last opportunity"? (This will nearly tie him with Ben Cousins when it comes to most "last chances".)

We're watching you, Geelong. If you don't stick to your word on this, your club will be shown up as weak, desperate and dishonourable.

*** UPDATE ***
In a predictable move, Geelong has seen fit to let repeat offender Steve Johnson off without sanction. This man - prone to bouts of drunken irresponsibility warranting police intervention - was busted hurtling along at almost 80 km/h over the legal limit. He was earlier publicly warned by his club, Geelong, about being on a last chance (see above).

Unfortunately, strict defamation laws prevent me from saying what I would like to. Instead, I draw your attention to the official media statement above, and compare and contrast with this excuse by Geelong Chief Executive Brian Cook:

But Cook hinted the outcome could have been different had the mercurial forward been a less talented player.

"There does come a point in time when you run out of chances. And talented people get more chances than the not so talented," he said

A repentant Johnson described his decision to speed as 'a bit of a brain fade'.

"There was no reason why I should have been travelling at that speed. To be honest, I've got no excuse for it. It was a silly thing to do. I can't put a finger on it," he said.

"There's no excuse for travelling at that sort of speed." (Sportal, 22/1/2008)

This idea of talent "buying" extra chances wasn't stated in the media release last year. I, for one, could not countenance dealing with people who could cynically manipulate the public like this.

Citations: The Age, 10/1/2008; AFL Bigpond, 10/1/2008; ABC, 14/1/2008; FoxSports, 17/1/2008; Geelong FC Statement, 8/1/2007; Sportal, 22/1/2008

Word Count: 1883

Tags: footy, booze, court, traffic, payola

A Few Roos Loose In Top Paddock

As morale at the club plummets, a mob of Kangaroos has taken to hitting the bottle to numb the pain of their move to the Gold Coast. The resulting bad behaviour was severe enough to warrant police using capsicum spray to subdue them. (Which has to be a first for a Lionel Richie winery gig.) Like spiteful bad tenants, it seems the Kangaroos plan to leave Melbourne strewn with empties, thoroughly trashed, blood-spattered and covered in vomit.

The action kicked-off late on Saturday night, when Matthew Campbell was charged with resisting arrest and being drunk in a public place at about 1.30am. Details are still sketchy about where and why, but we'll keep you posted as they come to hand.

The second incident took place at a relaxed, fun concert "for grown-ups" at a winery just out of town. A chilled crowd grooves on the lawns to the soulful stylings of head-line act Lionel Richie. Until that mob of bloody roos shows up, frothing and kicking!

Aaron Edwards, Shannon Grant and Hamish McIntosh clashed with security after a night of drinking at a Lionel Richie concert at a Victorian winery on Saturday night.

Edwards was ejected by police from the A Day On The Green gig at Scotchmans Hill winery at Drysdale, near Geelong, on Saturday night.

Premiership player Grant intervened to try to stop police taking his teammate away, with police reportedly using capsicum spray to deter him. (Fox Sports, 3/12/2007)

Remember back in March? Aaron Edwards was caught on tape with convicted drug dealer, Shane Water, as part of the Daniel Kerr "Special K" scandal. Maybe he should put an order in for panadol instead, because the hang-over must be a killer.

Other reports gave more detail into what lead up to the outbreak of ugliness:

Witnesses said Edwards was staggering and falling over.

One onlooker told the Herald Sun the 23-year-old was skulling from bottles of white wine before he collapsed among the crowd of more than 10,000 at Scotchmans Hill winery.

"Edwards was just lying on the ground. They couldn't get him off the ground he was that far gone," one man said.

"McIntosh was trying to get him up. He was probably the most sober one out of the three of them. They were terrible. Grant was falling over everywhere as well."

Trouble started when police, alerted to Edwards' state, went to investigate.
Kangaroos football manager Donald McDonald said Grant thought Edwards was going to be arrested and tried to defuse the situation.

"Shannon said, 'No, don't worry, he's with us, he'll be all right', and then Shannon said the police capsicum-sprayed them and led Aaron away," Mr McDonald said.

"They escorted him around the back to the winery and let him and his girlfriend go. No charges were laid.

"Then the police came back and put water in Shannon's eyes, and the other party members, and off they went.

"Shannon had his whole family there. Even the dad got sprayed."

Several witnesses took photos as the incident erupted. (PerthNow, 3/12/2007)

Great to see such thorough citizen journalism when it comes to AFL footballers. Yet another witness came forwards - insisting on anonymity - to recount her harrowing story to The Age:

"I was working at ... a A Day On The Green, and saw Aaron Edwards being dragged out by police in a T-shirt and his red jocks," the woman said.

"His shorts had fallen off while police were trying to restrain him. His girlfriend grabbed his shorts and was screaming at him to get up off the ground.

"My mates and I were sitting on the grass and he was right in front of us while it all happened."

The woman said Edwards' teammates asked police not to eject him from the venue in front of concertgoers.

"He had to be hand cuffed, and his fellow footballer mates were begging the police not to take him through the crowd of people, but they did."

The woman said she spotted Edwards again outside the venue.

"I then saw them once they had been escorted out, and Aaron Edwards was rolling down the hill still in his underwear in the car park." (The Age, 3/12/2007)

It's a terrible spectacle, that of a grown man, drunk off his gourd, eyes streaming with tears, shorts down, pathetically scrabbling to pull them up while pleading with police to allow him to preserve what remained of his dignity by not cuffing his hands. Watching him and his friends beg to be spared the humiliation that comes with parading him through a crowd of tormentors in such condition must be sickening.

So it's a bit bloody cheeky for Kangaroos' general manager of football operations Donald McDonald to claim, by way of apology, that "Thankfully no member of the public was directly affected by either of these incidents."

I'd say that bearing witness to terrible drunken behaviour, clashes with security guards, police confrontation, capsicum spray and ritual humiliation is pretty distressing when you're trying to enjoy a Lionel Richie concert.

The only slight relief came when Edwards, on being given his phone call, was overhead to say "I just called, to say ... Mum, can you post bail?".

Sadly, I don't think this is the last we'll see of drunken violence and other bad behaviour from the Kangaroos. With their club all but gone from Melbourne, they'll lash out vengefully at the city who so cruelly rebuffed them. After two years of booze-fuelled agro, the Kangaroos be a perfect cultural fit for the Gold Coast as Toolie Ambassadors.

*** UPDATE ***
Sadly, it seems the Kangaroos are planning to stick it out as North Melbourne for the time being after turning down a stupendously generous deal to move to Carrara on the Gold Coast. While the AFL executive - particularly Andy Demetriou - seems to think they'll last about six months without the $100M they offered, the AFL is pressing ahead with plans for a 17th club on the Gold Coast anyway.

In terms of citizen safety, this is a worst case scenario: angry, sullen North Melbourne players roaming the streets looking for any excuse to lash out before their demise plus a whole new batch of 40-odd AFL players emerging in the Gold Coast. If the West Coast Eagles have taught us anything, it's that these isolated, artificial clubs can quickly revert, Lord of the Flies-style, into dangerous nests of immorality, vice and sleaze.

Heaven help us.

*** UPDATE ***
The Kangaroos have suspended Shannon Grant for a match for "breaking club rules" at a golf day.

No details as yet as to the nature of his offence, nor whether or not he copped another burst of capsicum spray this time. Stay tuned.

Citations: Fox Sports, 3/12/2007; PerthNow, 3/12/2007; The Age, 3/12/2007

Word Count: 955

Tags: footy, booze, culture

Footbrawlers Get Away With Pub Assault

In a disgusting breach of community decency, three violent professional footballers avoided any serious sanction for their role in a St Kilda pub brawl. Sadly, such jaw-dropping leniency is all too familiar to the citizens of Melbourne, enduring a state of permanent siege under the swaggering AFL players who own this town. This ruling will only further reinforce the notion that, in Melbourne at least, footballers are beyond judicial rebuke.

This case centres around the events of the 2006 Grand Final Eve (28th of September), involving a number of past and present players from the Brisbane Lions and St Kilda. The players charged were Fraser Gehrig, Michael Voss, Steven Lawrence, while Craig McCrae and Craig Lambert escaped any charges at all.

We've been tracking this case closely, as shown by this time-line:

• (2/10/2006) Initial reports emerged of the attack.


• (6/6/2007) Detectives finally get around to interviewing the accused, some nine months late. (The possibility that they were waiting for the depths of a Melbourne winter before flying to sunny Brisbane is raised.)


• (7/6/2007) Players are formally charged.


• (13/7/2007) A trial is under way and security video footage of the parts of the assault are leaked to broadcasters (see below).


• (30/8/2007) While the criminal trial is under way, a civil case (law suit) is launched by the victims.

We now come to the final series of criminal judgments against these three men. Let's recap the allegations against them on that fateful night in the Prince of Wales Hotel:

Jarrod Rouse, 27, said his girlfriend Jacqueline [Cameron] was subjected to lewd comments and gestures.

"They were being sleazy. We all said we didn't want any trouble," Mr Rouse said.

He said [Steven] Lawrence, who plays for Port Melbourne, made a threatening gesture with a pool cue as they sat at their table.

Mr Rouse, who admitted he was drunk, said Jacqueline then pushed the cue back at the former St Kilda player.

"It escalated from there. I was just there trying to protect my girl," he said.

Mr Rouse said fighting broke out, during which he wrestled with [Fraser] Gehrig and was struck by others.

Jacqueline said: "There were four or five people kicking my boyfriend."

Mr Rouse's friend Jules [Julius Smith] said he was punched and knocked out after the violence spilled outside.

Jules said he remembered little after the initial angry words.

"I remember the bloke putting the the pool cue in Jacqueline's face. I must have been king-hit pretty soon after that. I was out cold," he said.

Mr Rouse said he had spoken to police. (The Herald-Sun, 29/9/2006)

Other sources:

"I found myself on the ground being attacked, being stomped, being kicked," [Rouse] told Ten News. (The Australian, 29/9/2006)

And this:

Ms Cameron told Channel 7 News last night ... "I pushed it back onto him. They pulled down my dress at some point. They pulled the button off Jarrod's pants and tried to pull his pants down," Ms Cameron said. (The Age, 29/9/2006)

It seems like a pretty standard Melbourne night spot scenario: a group of cocky AFL players spend all day drinking. For sport, they harass a local young woman, because, well, because they can. Usually, Melburnians just have to suck it up. In this instance, the girlfriend responds and the boyfriend's been drinking. Both seem not to understand the rules. Pushing and shoving breaks out and the footballers, by virtue of their propensity to fight in numbers, attack women, king hit, kick people on the ground and generally act atrociously, soundly beat various people up.

Thanks to the magic of YouTube, we can see some of this behaviour in full-flight. Check out the security footage. I, for one, never get sick of seeing a 100 kg millionaire push a slight young woman to the ground. What a champion:



A disgusting display of cowardice and ugliness. Thankfully, a few guilty pleas might see some convictions finally get recorded against this pack of hate-filled morons, right? Might send a powerful signal that they're bound by the same law as everyone else, and their size and money means naught. Right?

There's a reason why the Melbourne Magistrates Court has an AFL division. It's not just to handle the huge workloads resulting from the league. Here's how Deputy Chief Magistrate Paul Smith doled out justice in this instance:

Michael Voss and Simon Black

Both escaped conviction despite pleading guilty to assault charges, and were put into a "diversion" program. They also have to do some volunteer work with arbias, a group that deals with "alcohol-related brain injury". (An area with which these two knobs have direct experience.)


Simon Black (right) and Michael Voss (left) Escape Conviction for Brawl
Source: The Age

Black, 28, acted during "10 seconds of madness" when he kicked a bar patron, while Voss, 32, played a lesser role in the violent altercation, Melbourne Magistrates' Court heard.

...

Both Brisbane premiership players had been charged with one count of unlawful assault while a count of recklessly causing injury against Black was withdrawn.

...

The fight continued in the street outside where Voss, who says he was kicked, struck [Jarrod] Rouse with an open hand. Black kicked Rouse as he lay on the ground wrestling with Voss.

Mr Smith immediately agreed to put Voss through the diversion program, but asked for submissions from Black's lawyer, saying his role was more significant.

...

"He is regarded as a leading light so far as the Brisbane Lions Football Club is concerned," [Defence lawyer Michael Bosscher] said.

Mr Smith agreed to put Black on diversion. (Herald-Sun, 3/10/2007)

Staggering, isn't it? Let's see how the others fared.

Fraser Gehrig

Gehrig also pleaded guilty to his assault-related charges and applied for this same "diversionary program" as his co-accused:


Fraser Gehrig Escapes Conviction for Brawl
Source: Herald-Sun

Gehrig faced one count each on charges of unlawful assault and common assault.

Police today withdrew the more serious charge of unlawful assault before Mr Smith granted Gehrig's application.

...

"It looks to me that the assault relates to Jacqueline Cameron. Mr Rouse's girlfriend struck Mr Gehrig and struck [him] in the back.

"[Gehrig] then pushed her to the upper body with both hands and that caused her to fall to the ground."

Gehrig's lawyer, Marita Altman, told Mr Smith her client had instinctively pushed Ms Cameron after being assaulted from behind.

"He shouldn't have pushed her at all," Mr Smith said. He then asked Gehrig whether he took responsibility for the assault on Ms Cameron, to which Gehrig replied: "Yes".

...

In granting Gehrig's application, Mr Smith said two significant things in the case had changed.

"The first is Mr Gehrig faces a charge of common assault and a second, his codefendants [Voss and Black], who both played a greater role in the melee, have both been diverted."

Given that Voss and Black played a greater role, it would be unfair to impose a harsher penalty on Gehrig, Mr Smith said.

He described Gehrig as "a man of good character" and the assault as "a push only". (The Age, 4/10/2007)

Did you get that? It was "only" a push. Besides, the magistrate's earlier leniency (err, "judicial mercy"?) sort of forced him into a corner in this instance. He had to divert him too, otherwise it wouldn't be fair (to him).

So, Gehrig stone-cold got away with his part in the attack. Surely, then, Steven Lawrence will cop it in the neck?

Steven Lawrence

No conviction, no diversion and a $5,000 fine (less than a week's wages for the average AFL player):


Steven Lawrence Escapes Conviction for Brawl
Source: The Age

Lawrence, 31, of South Melbourne, pleaded guilty in Melbourne Magistrates' Court to one charge of intentionally causing injury over the incident at the Prince of Wales Hotel in St Kilda on September 29 last year.

Lawrence had been with a group of friends and fellow AFL players, including Brownlow medallists Michael Voss and Simon Black and St Kilda spearhead Fraser Gehrig, when the fight erupted.

The court heard Lawrence placed his hand on the victim, Julius Smith, then swung his fist at his head, causing him to fall to the ground unconscious.

Lawrence left the scene and refused to comment when shown footage of the incident during a police interview, the court was told.

...

[Lawrence's lawyer, Ian Hill QC] also argued a conviction could hinder his career prospects in property development.

While Magistrate Paul Smith said the incident was serious, he noted Lawrence's clean record, supportive character references and the fact a conviction could harm him professionally.

"Despite the fact this is a very serious offence, you've never done anything before or since," Mr Smith said.

He imposed a fine of $5,000 but said no conviction would be recorded. (The Age, 30/10/2007)

Geez. Like we need a property developer with a penchant for biffo!

So, these three hulking bullies kicked off a major brawl in a popular Melbourne pub by harassing a young woman, plead guilty, it's caught on tape and yet all escape conviction. A slap on the wrist and only minor inconvenience. Is anyone going to suffer sanction for this? You bet:

Jarrod Rouse

Yep, the victims. The one bloke without a top-flight expensive lawyer, huge fame and the resources of a media juggernaut like an AFL club backing him:

Last week Jarrod Rouse, 29, of Box Hill, was convicted and fined $2800 after pleading guilty to recklessly engaging in conduct that put others in danger of serious injury. (SMH, 2/10/2007)

No diversion program for you, son. Plus, an ordinary bloke from Box Hill will find it a lot tougher paying that fine than yet another footballer-cum-property developer. What a black day for justice in this city.

How can it happen? Clearly, this was not a jury trial. It was a lone experienced magistrate making a call on the evidence put before him. Before jumping to conclusions, let's review the sentencing history of Magistrate Paul Smith in regard to footballers. A brief search on Google turned up the following cases:

• (2006) Carlton's Heath Scotland strikes a young woman in the toilets at a nightclub. Magistrate Smith directs Scotland into the "diversionary program" without conviction on the grounds that (sounds familiar?) a conviction might harm his chances of becoming a fireman. Scotland later faces allegations of striking another woman outside a pub in Ballarat.


• (2006) Hawthorn's Campbell Brown put into "diversionary program" by Magistrate Smith following some unpleasantness at a 7-Eleven.


• (2004) Former Collingwood footballer Des Tuddenham blows .133 (his third such offence) and causes a traffic accident. Magistrate Smith suspends the jail sentence.


• (2002) Former Collingwood premiership ruckman Damian Monkhorst has escaped conviction for assaulting a 14 year-old boy at his country footy club - despite a guilty plea. Magistrate Smith was in the box seat.

These are all the cases I could find. Maybe there are instances of Mr Smith convicting current or former AFL players, but they're just not showing up in search engines. Now, I'm sure Mr Smith has far less qualms about convicting bloggers for contempt of court or similar charges. Or launching his own defamation action against me. So I have to be careful and state clearly: I do not believe - nor do I assert - that his rulings in this case are different from what we could expect from any other judicial officer. For example, County Court Judge John Barnett is more than capable of seeing that a vicious public brawl initiated by footballers doesn't inconvenience them too much. Hell, this blog is littered with stories of footballers' wrongdoings and dozens of court cases.

I must admit though, my initial thoughts on seeing this outcome is "How can the courts be so far out of step with community standards? Surely, Melbourne's Establishment isn't so parochial as to blackball people from their posh dinner parties just because they convicted popular footballers?".

But then it dawned on me: these are our community standards. Big, rich, famous young men simply don't need to bear the consequences for their actions. Their future career options are preserved. Sentencing "parity" is maintained (with other privileged footballers mind you, not mug punters off the street). They pay piddly inconsequential (for them) fines. They do "community work" that furthers their public profile. They have expensive QCs arguing their case in the Magistrates Courts. Professional publicists and image advisers are on tap. They get every opportunity, second chance, benefit of the doubt and break going.

No wonder they presume to own every venue in Melbourne. They can act rudely, even criminally, and they know the system will see them well looked after.

Citations: The Herald-Sun, 29/9/2006; The Australian, 29/9/2006; The Age, 29/9/2006; Herald-Sun, 3/10/2007; The Age, 4/10/2007; The Age, 30/10/2007; SMH, 2/10/2007

Word Count: 2124

Tags: footy, bashing, booze, court, spoilt_rotten

One Day In Septopia

After months of nervous anticipation, the last Saturday in September (re-badged by AFL publicists as "Septopia", a contraction of "septic" and "myopia") finally saw a resolution of the big question: who was going to win the much-coveted Douglas Wilkie Medal in 2007?

The Medal is named after the long-serving journalist, foreign correspondent and columnist and is awarded by the Anti-Football League to "those who do the least for Australian rules football, in the best and fairest manner".

The Anti-Football League was formed by journalist Keith Dunstan in 1967 and revived by his grandson Jack Dunstan in 2007. From their website:

The Anti-Football League (AFL) is an Australian organisation of individuals who are indifferent to the excessive fervour that afflicts supporters of the Australian code of football known as Australian Rules Football (”Aussie Rules”).

The AFL stands apart from the Football mania that is ever increasingly saturating our workplaces, media outlets and public spaces, and which at certain times of the year reaches excessive and epidemic proportions. (AFL Website, 30/9/2007)

This year, the Medal was awarded to Dr Barry Jones, Renaissance Man and public intellectual, for admitting to reading books while attending footy matches. The runners-up this year were political football David Hicks, chemical enthusiast Ben Cousins, film critic David Stratton, Canberra journo Emma Macdonald and me (for this blog).

Congratulations to Dr Jones for joining the illustrious ranks of recipients, including Peter Russell-Clarke, Terry Lane, Wendy Harmer and Barry Humphries.

I would also like to thank the Anti-Football League for the honourable mention and wish a hearty well done to my fellow runners-up.

Lastly, my special thanks to Geelong's David Johnson, whose drunken antics on Thursday over-shadowed the Cats' Grand Final win on Saturday. (While he's not presently on the seniors list, he represented Geelong at the VFL Grand Final the weekend before and has played 12 AFL games earlier in the season.)

Police say they had to use capsicum spray to subdue 25-year-old David Johnson after he attempted to run away from police in Moorabool Street just after 4:00am.

Johnson has been taken to the Geelong police station for questioning over the assault of two men and a woman outside a nightclub.

Earlier in the night he was thrown out of a nightclub and given a lift home by police. (ABC, 28/9/2007)

Cat In Sore Need of Trip to Vet
Source: Geelong Advertiser.

After getting his special police taxi service - a role the police have happily undertaken in the past for AFL players - he was warned not to return to the nightclub district. Generous? Lenient? Inviting trouble? Geelong's police have a reputation for using kid gloves on their favoured sons when they engage in this kind of thing.

Underscoring why a blog such as this is necessary, the AFL CEO Andrew Demetriou downplayed the severity of the alleged criminality by dismissing it as "silly". He's facing allegations of multiple drunken assaults - including against a woman - and charges like resisting arrest (requiring the use of capsicum spray and batons) and we're told it's just "silly"? Yep, that's the AFL for you.

Citations: AFL Website, 30/9/2007; ABC, 28/9/2007

Word Count: 541

Tags: footy, bashing,, booze,, culture

Mad Monday Threatens Melbourne

This is a warning to all Melburnians: today is the infamous Mad Monday, which means hundreds of drunk and drug-affected footballers will be roaming the streets in gangs. Many of them will be bitterly disappointed and violence seems inevitable.

Mad Monday has always been an interesting time in Melbourne. Now, it's positively dangerous. Given the large dose of negative scrutiny AFL players' drug habits have received recently, you'd think they might take it easy this year. After all, there's no sign of the Seven/AFL Gutter Feud settling. But that's not what people are thinking:

TODAY marks open season for drug users, AFL style.

Think about it for a moment, because it's a little bit scary.

This morning we kick off a two-month exclusion zone in which AFL players, in their off-season breaks, will not be tested for any form of illicit drug until pre-season training commences.

As of today's Mad Sunday sessions, 210 players from Richmond, St Kilda, Essendon, Brisbane and Fremantle will be free to take as many illicit drugs as they like, and not one of them will be tested.

From tomorrow, 125 from Melbourne, Carlton and the Bulldogs will join them.

The depressing reality is that in the current climate, the lure of drugs will be too much for some players to resist. (Herald-Sun, 2/9/2007)

Let's put those sobering remarks into context. Here's what Hawthorn great Dermot Brereton had to say about earlier Mad Monday festivities:

Brereton, who starred for Hawthorn in the 1980s and still has close contact with players through his commentator duties, said drug-taking was said to be preferred to alcohol in post-season celebrations.

"We heard rumours that somebody turned up to one of those mad Mondays and there wasn't a beer in sight ... (The Australian, 31/3/05, reported in The Speccy)

And, as is now a tradition at this time of the year, here is the photo of Eddie McGuire and friend very late indeed at one Mad Monday:


Eddie Not Faring As Well As Other Bloke
Source: Aftergrog Blog.

Of course, the image of drug-fuelled parties with pills and powders being thrown around like confetti is not the AFL's spin departments' idea of how Mad Monday should be perceived. They'd rather everyone just forgot about that and focused on the traditional, booze-soaked piss-ups instead. This is the official word from AFL HQ on the upcoming Mad Monday:

WELSH poet Dylan Thomas's famous dying words were, “I’ve had 18 straight whiskies. I think that is a record.” Dylan, you feel, would have enjoyed Mad Monday, the day when the AFL’s also-rans blow their tops like 44 kegs of beer that have done six months in the back of a ute, plus a hard pre-season. (AFL, 3/9/2007)

Yes, that's right, in a bizarre refutation of the Governments' responsible drinking message, the AFL is putting about quotes from Welsh poets who tragically drank themselves to death via media release. Is this to encourage players off the ice and onto whisky? ("Mmm, whisky - potentially fatal whisky. Do you remember how good it was?") Or is it to paint a vivid and unshakable image in the minds of the punters of utes, kegs and "piss, porn and pie" nights at the local footy club rooms? Well, nothing could be further from the truth for our manicured and well-coiffed salonistas.

Thanks to some diligent behind-the-scenes work, The Speccy is able to provide a hit-list of venues likely to attract footballers. Remember, these places will be over-charging you for drinks (to ensure the players sip water for free in the VIP room). They will also attract women (and a few misguided men) looking to pick up a footballer -if only in for ten minutes in the toilet. Large groups of men will be resentful of this and the risk of fights means it is not worth attending.

Please avoid the following suspected footballer haunts:

• Prince of Wales Hotel in St Kilda (scene of alleged brawl involving Fraser Gehrig, Michael Voss and the others.)


• Ocean Blue in Port Melbourne (scene of car park assault involving Chris Tarrant and Ben Johnson)


• Motel in South Melbourne (as featured in documentary Footy Chicks)


• The Saint and the Vineyard in St Kilda

Ironically, the safest venue is town for the next couple of days might be Spearmint Rhino, the lap-dance club that served us starting point for Alan Didak's Hell Ride. After his little adventure, it's now one of the few places where Collingwood players are banned from attending.

In any case, please keep your head low. Stock up on essential products (like pepper spray and drink-spike detectors). Warn others. And - hopefully - we'll catch you on the other side.

*** UPDATE ***
It's been a slow Mad Monday. Either the players were unusually well-behaved or the venue operators and media have been gagged. After scouring the mainstream media and footy forums, this is the most salacious story I could turn up:

Hawthorn players Lance Franklin and Trent Croad were invited to MTV's Superbad movie premiere after-party, but didn't impress organisers with their attempts to get the entire team into South Yarra's Tryst bar.

The boozed-up bunch were turned away after hitting the nearby Bridie O'Reilly's pub on Chapel St for most of the day, as part of Mad Monday celebrations. (Herald-Sun, 19/9/2007)

Jeez. Even the West Coast Eagles are having a locked-down Mad Monday, with security guards in place. Chairman Dalton Gooding explains that "They’ve got plans and processes in place," and said they players would be "Very responsible, be very tight, stay among themselves and just show restraint."

Pretty bloody lame. C'mon, surely there was some ugliness somewhere?

*** UPDATE ***
Not necessarily ugly, but the Sunday Age reports that Hawthorn's Lance "Buddy" Franklin might be about to go vegetarian: at least, that's their explanation why Buddy was loudly stating "I'm off my chops!" at the Leederville Hotel in Perth. There's going to be a lot of disappointed Hawthorn fans if they're relying on this bloke for their tilt at the premiership.

Citations: Herald-Sun, 2/9/2007; AFL, 3/9/2007; Herald-Sun, 19/9/2007

Word Count: 1028

Tags: footy, drugs, sleaze, booze