A Bloody Idiot

You have to feel for the marketing bozos at the Richmond Football Club. They've lost a sponsorship contract with the TAC (Transport Accident Commission) - reportedly worth $750K - because of one young dickhead. No other corporate professional has mult-million dollar deals hinging on a modicum of self-restraint by a large group of overpaid teenage prima donnas full of their own self-importance.

Hell, even in Hollywood business can proceed apace despite the shortcomings of the "talent". It's not only tolerated - it's even encouraged. Imagine this scenario: a bright young star of The O.C. rams a stolen ambulance through a police convention while smoking crack cocaine and performing an illegal abortion on his underage lover, splattering the lifeless corpse of the Puerto Rican homeless man he just ran over (and dragged for five hundred metres) into the gaping mouths of the assembled law officers. Sponsorship contract cancelled? Not a chance. It gets written into the plot and the episode is billed as "Ripped from today's headlines". The AFL marketers must be green with envy.

But back to Sgt "I know n-o-o-o-thing" Schulz: how is it that a 19 year-old probationary driver (remember, they're meant to be 100% sober) get behind the wheel of a car - while drunk - and decide to drive at double the speed limit in a built-up city environment? Was it the result of some late-night logistical problem that couldn't be solved with a $20 taxi fare? Or was it just a case of "I'm young, rich, famous and above the law. It's fun to drive fast while drunk, so I'll do it". Certainly, the $5000 penalty meted out by his club was no deterrent (what's that - one week's match fee?).

It's also worth asking what his team mates were doing at this time. Did they know he was about to throw away the sponsorship deal and jeopardise his life (and others?). There's an old Italian saying that it takes a village to raise a child. It seems it takes a football team to nurture that village's (bloody) idiot.

The next sponsorship deal the TAC strikes had better include provisions for breathalyser steering locks and a bunch of cab vouchers. Or better yet - I hope the board rethinks the value in handing out big chunks of taxpayer money to footy clubs in the first place.

Word Count: 395

Tags: footy, court, traffic, payola, booze