Sam Newman versus The Sisterhood

Mediocre former footballer Sam Newman, 72, is no stranger to controversy. While his playing career in post-War Geelong was of little import, he's created big waves re-inventing himself as a buffoon on the widely-panned AFL Footy Show. With his badly botched face and reputation as a pants man, he gained a public notoriety far in excess of his media abilities. His greatest success has been to take a penchant for abusing migrants, the elderly and teens in the street and turn it into a lucrative earner. (More details about his misogyny, idiocy and hate can be found on Wikipedia.)

Sam Newman's most recent controversy arose after an attack on fellow media personality and football writer, Caroline Wilson. "Caro" is the chief football writer for The Age, and appears on Nine's Footy Classified chat show. Newman attacked her on The Footy Show in a now-infamous sketch involving a mannequin in lingerie, a staple gun, a cut-out image of Wilson's face and biting references to her dress and appearance.

You can see some video footage of Newman's brand of hate-filled puppetry here:

The host of both shows, Gary Lyon, faced criticism for failing to stop Newman during his "skit" and for not standing up for his co-panellist (on another show), Wilson. While a half-arsed sort-of apology was forthcoming from Lyon, Newman has remained firm. Channel Nine wasn't budging and signals from the AFL hierarchy indicated that, while they didn't like it, they weren't going to do anything about it.

So in response, a group of senior women in AFL - mostly board members of the various clubs - wrote a letter demanding that The Footy Show tone it down and receive a seminar on respecting women. Newman's response on radio was to dismiss the women as "shrieking, hysterical, desperate". He announced on-air that he tried to quit, but Channel Nine would not accept his resignation and forced him to continue.

And why wouldn't they? This kind of thing is a ratings winner. And besides, it's unlikely to mollify their critics. So they'll be trying a different tack:



I'm not sure if our football industry - in particular The Footy Show - has really embraced the AFL's policy on respect and responsibility for women. Perhaps attending some seminars is a good starting point.

*** UPDATE ***

For the sake of completeness, we'll provide a mini-wrap on the Sam Newman situation. In a word, he's been boned. Channel Nine management, hoping to ride out the imbroglio, spent eight weeks batting the issue away. Sam kept escalating - calling some critics liars, for instance - and the media (led by The Age) kept pushing. Finally, after ratings slipped 15% and some advertisers took their concerns public, the axe fell.

Sam Newman has been dropped from The Footy Show, indefinitely, by Nine's Melbourne supremo Jeffrey Browne.

Sure, some bland motherhood statements were made (did I hear "gardening leave"?). Newman has been publicly ordered into counselling with a psychologist who specialises in troubled children. Nice one. He's been off the air for three weeks (even nicer). He's also contracted the flu, broken his ankle doing weights and had hospital treatment for a hernia resulting from a coughing fit. (I suspect the collective wishful thinking of Melburnians may have played a role in that run of bad luck.)

In a remarkable scoop, Age columnist Catherine Deveny gives us all an extraordinary insight into the counselling sessions with this transcript.

So I guess we can add Sam Newman to the list of ultra-arrogant football alpha-males to have been humbled in recent months, alongside Ben Cousins and Wayne Carey. Who's next?

*** UPDATE ***
Well, I have to admit to being fooled on this one. I thought Sam Newman would stay off the air for at least a couple of months, maybe until the finals started. But no. Three bloody weeks. In a sarcastic and unrepentant tone, he announced to the host, Garry Lyon, "I actually feel cleansed, Garry ... I feel refreshed, and I have learned a lot about myself, Gaz".


Newman hams it up for bogans.
Source: The Age.

This year, Newman's had cameras up his arse, painful surgery made worse by having Eddie McGuire hovering around asking questions and trying to look useful, broken bones and now he's been publicly dressed down and sent to counselling sessions. How much more humiliation can this idiot take? I look forward to finding out.

*** UPDATE ***

Serial pest Sam Newman has only been back on telly for a couple of weeks, but he's already generating headlines with his hate-filled, sexist "quips". This one relates to his assessment of a female Tasmanian politician, Paula Wriedt, as "worthy of coming on". Credit to the panel, they immediately took him to task - once the guffaws from the audience died down.

You can watch the video of Newman's witty wordplay and read the transcript here. Predictably, Channel Nine have dug their heels in rather than concede they've made yet another mistake in letting this buffoon on air. Nine News describe the offensive remark as a "quip" and referred to Caroline Wilson's ritual humiliation as a "gag".

Come on!

Word Count: 407

Tags: footy, media, sleaze, scandals

Cousins Returns To Form

In a brilliant return to form, Australia's greatest human being Ben Cousins has astounded his fans and devastated his critics by going from strength to strength without even breaking his stride. This glittering prize of a man is unstoppable and should, by all rights, be revered as a god. Thankfully, that process is already in train.

We pick up the story after he mysteriously absented himself on his life-saving trip to LA for celebrity-style resort rehab. One of the two blonde ladies in the sports car who picked him up at the airport (Susie Ela, member of Ben's "LA newtork") made a 5am emergency call to 911 on behalf of Cousins. She confirmed he had been on a cocaine bender for the past five days and was "not acting right". He had fried his brain with coke and was, reportedly, in bad shape mentally when he was whisked away to hospital via ambulance.

Whereas a mere mortal might have doubts at putting their own Dad in the invidious position of telling porkies to the media, Cousins just bounced right back. Right back into a $1500 suit that he picked up at Bridge Rd, Richmond. How do we know? Because Ben's suit purchase was front page news in Melbourne. He was mobbed by adoring fans in the street, mobiles held aloft like talismans, eager for a bit of that celebrity power to wash over them and validate their own dubious shopping choices. (How long until we get the inevitable poorly-pixelated image of Cousins getting out of his car while "going commando"?)

Ben Cousins Turns Bridge Road into Rodeo Drive
Source: The Age

Oh, there was the minor matter of the AFL Commission meeting, where he was suspended from the game for 12 months. Sort of. Something about bringing the game into disrepute? But, honestly, no biggie. He can continue to play for state-based second tier AFL-affiliated clubs, like East Fremantle, under a peculiar technicality. The Western Australian police were forced to drop their drug charges against him, on a technicality. (Apparently, the same officer who arrested him had to ask him to do the test, not another officer. Or something.) Hell, the cops even apologised! Brilliant.

Now, it looks like the US police are not going to pursue unwelcome criminal matters against Cousins either, despite his heroic cocaine binge. It was always going to be shaky if they would chase down a wealthy white man for taking cocaine in Los Angeles, even one who had "fallen afoul of the law". Luckily, Cousins is neither poor nor black. No word yet on an apology from the American detectives, but I doubt Benny's holding his breath.

So it's all going pretty well for Ben Cousins. Sure, his career's stalled a bit, there was that brief ambulance ride and some minor traffic matters have been cleared up. Apart from that, he's on top of the world. His plan is to sit out 2008 in a state league (probably in Victoria). There's also serious talk of a modelling career (a mere $150K per annum, but still, that'd almost cover his reported $3K/week drug habit). And why not? He's spawned a whole industry of "Such Is Life" T-shirts, featuring his distinctive bogan gut-tattoo. (And, perplexingly, a commemorative tawny port.)


Cousins inspiring the stencil art scene.
Source: NineMSN

Ben Cousin's popularity is going ahead in leaps and bounds. This is no more apparent than in cyberspace, where the yoof are rising up as one voice and saying "Bennnnnny .... you ROCK maaaaaate!!!!!!"

Facebook, for example, has many Ben Cousins groups, with names like "Ben Cousins for Prime Minister", "I Wanna Party With Ben Cousins" (17,000 members), "I Buy All My Drugs Off Ben Cousins" (3,000 members), "Who Gives a Toss if Ben Cousins is a Junkie - He's a Bloody Hottie!". And so on, for about 190 groups. To be fair, a very small number are taking the piss. And even fewer are openly hostile to him. But the vast bulk seems to be "Ben is fun and I want to be as near/like/inside him as I can."

And good ol' Ben has been putting his popularity with the youngsters to work. He's been sighted hanging out at the Gold Coast for the Schoolies Week. Sadly, he seems to be enjoying the company of the younger people there. An older man - 30 soon - hanging out with girls who have just finished high school is known as a "Toolie". According to this Victorian government website, schoolies need to be wary of toolies. In this case, sexual assault and violence are lower-order concerns. Check this video of Ben Cousins snorting, well, something off the table with his new friends:



What a swell guy. Rehab? Contrition? Remorse? Responsibility? Consequences? Bah. His talent has seen him rise to the top of the AFL footy. That same culture saw him sheltered, protected and never having to face up to reality. His club turned a blind eye to his antics. Medical rehab's been a useless washout. The legal system had a go but has bowed out with a bloody nose. The politicians that spoke up have been voted out. For how long can his family keep up their support? Egged on by celebrity attendees and his online cheer squad, Cousins is completely unshackled and unhinged.

Eventually, Ben's going to need real friends, not colleagues or minders or coke-buddies or people who shout "we love you Benny - whoooohooo!" out of passing cars. Let's hope he's got some left.

Word Count: 952

Tags: footy, spoilt_rotten,, drugs,, sleaze

Mad Monday Threatens Melbourne

This is a warning to all Melburnians: today is the infamous Mad Monday, which means hundreds of drunk and drug-affected footballers will be roaming the streets in gangs. Many of them will be bitterly disappointed and violence seems inevitable.

Mad Monday has always been an interesting time in Melbourne. Now, it's positively dangerous. Given the large dose of negative scrutiny AFL players' drug habits have received recently, you'd think they might take it easy this year. After all, there's no sign of the Seven/AFL Gutter Feud settling. But that's not what people are thinking:

TODAY marks open season for drug users, AFL style.

Think about it for a moment, because it's a little bit scary.

This morning we kick off a two-month exclusion zone in which AFL players, in their off-season breaks, will not be tested for any form of illicit drug until pre-season training commences.

As of today's Mad Sunday sessions, 210 players from Richmond, St Kilda, Essendon, Brisbane and Fremantle will be free to take as many illicit drugs as they like, and not one of them will be tested.

From tomorrow, 125 from Melbourne, Carlton and the Bulldogs will join them.

The depressing reality is that in the current climate, the lure of drugs will be too much for some players to resist. (Herald-Sun, 2/9/2007)

Let's put those sobering remarks into context. Here's what Hawthorn great Dermot Brereton had to say about earlier Mad Monday festivities:

Brereton, who starred for Hawthorn in the 1980s and still has close contact with players through his commentator duties, said drug-taking was said to be preferred to alcohol in post-season celebrations.

"We heard rumours that somebody turned up to one of those mad Mondays and there wasn't a beer in sight ... (The Australian, 31/3/05, reported in The Speccy)

And, as is now a tradition at this time of the year, here is the photo of Eddie McGuire and friend very late indeed at one Mad Monday:


Eddie Not Faring As Well As Other Bloke
Source: Aftergrog Blog.

Of course, the image of drug-fuelled parties with pills and powders being thrown around like confetti is not the AFL's spin departments' idea of how Mad Monday should be perceived. They'd rather everyone just forgot about that and focused on the traditional, booze-soaked piss-ups instead. This is the official word from AFL HQ on the upcoming Mad Monday:

WELSH poet Dylan Thomas's famous dying words were, “I’ve had 18 straight whiskies. I think that is a record.” Dylan, you feel, would have enjoyed Mad Monday, the day when the AFL’s also-rans blow their tops like 44 kegs of beer that have done six months in the back of a ute, plus a hard pre-season. (AFL, 3/9/2007)

Yes, that's right, in a bizarre refutation of the Governments' responsible drinking message, the AFL is putting about quotes from Welsh poets who tragically drank themselves to death via media release. Is this to encourage players off the ice and onto whisky? ("Mmm, whisky - potentially fatal whisky. Do you remember how good it was?") Or is it to paint a vivid and unshakable image in the minds of the punters of utes, kegs and "piss, porn and pie" nights at the local footy club rooms? Well, nothing could be further from the truth for our manicured and well-coiffed salonistas.

Thanks to some diligent behind-the-scenes work, The Speccy is able to provide a hit-list of venues likely to attract footballers. Remember, these places will be over-charging you for drinks (to ensure the players sip water for free in the VIP room). They will also attract women (and a few misguided men) looking to pick up a footballer -if only in for ten minutes in the toilet. Large groups of men will be resentful of this and the risk of fights means it is not worth attending.

Please avoid the following suspected footballer haunts:

• Prince of Wales Hotel in St Kilda (scene of alleged brawl involving Fraser Gehrig, Michael Voss and the others.)


• Ocean Blue in Port Melbourne (scene of car park assault involving Chris Tarrant and Ben Johnson)


• Motel in South Melbourne (as featured in documentary Footy Chicks)


• The Saint and the Vineyard in St Kilda

Ironically, the safest venue is town for the next couple of days might be Spearmint Rhino, the lap-dance club that served us starting point for Alan Didak's Hell Ride. After his little adventure, it's now one of the few places where Collingwood players are banned from attending.

In any case, please keep your head low. Stock up on essential products (like pepper spray and drink-spike detectors). Warn others. And - hopefully - we'll catch you on the other side.

*** UPDATE ***
It's been a slow Mad Monday. Either the players were unusually well-behaved or the venue operators and media have been gagged. After scouring the mainstream media and footy forums, this is the most salacious story I could turn up:

Hawthorn players Lance Franklin and Trent Croad were invited to MTV's Superbad movie premiere after-party, but didn't impress organisers with their attempts to get the entire team into South Yarra's Tryst bar.

The boozed-up bunch were turned away after hitting the nearby Bridie O'Reilly's pub on Chapel St for most of the day, as part of Mad Monday celebrations. (Herald-Sun, 19/9/2007)

Jeez. Even the West Coast Eagles are having a locked-down Mad Monday, with security guards in place. Chairman Dalton Gooding explains that "They’ve got plans and processes in place," and said they players would be "Very responsible, be very tight, stay among themselves and just show restraint."

Pretty bloody lame. C'mon, surely there was some ugliness somewhere?

*** UPDATE ***
Not necessarily ugly, but the Sunday Age reports that Hawthorn's Lance "Buddy" Franklin might be about to go vegetarian: at least, that's their explanation why Buddy was loudly stating "I'm off my chops!" at the Leederville Hotel in Perth. There's going to be a lot of disappointed Hawthorn fans if they're relying on this bloke for their tilt at the premiership.

Citations: Herald-Sun, 2/9/2007; AFL, 3/9/2007; Herald-Sun, 19/9/2007

Word Count: 1028

Tags: footy, drugs, sleaze, booze

Footballers Make Bad Company

In a move that has shocked even seasoned AFL player watchers, Collingwood's Alan Didak has been named and weakly-chastised for partying with Hell's Angel and alleged drug dealer and murderer Christopher Wayne Hudson. The persistent and widespread association between footballers and organised crime figures - especially bikies - can no longer be ignored and demands urgent action by footy's real fans.

The scene on Thursday, June 28 was depressingly familiar - a po-faced footballer uncomfortable in a shirt and tie, an angry club official, the salivating media and the glare of the public gaze as yet another footballer awkwardly stumbles his way through a written statement. This time, however, it wasn't another drink-driving or drug scandal. This time, the statement revealed that the ugly mutual appreciation and respect between outlaw motorcycle gang members and professional athletes had real repurcussions.

Excusing the Inexcusable: Didak's mea culpa
Source: The Age

It transpired that very late on the Saturday of the Queen's Birthday weekend, Alan Didak, Colin Sylvia and Chris Hudson were drinking together in a number of nightspots in Melbourne, including the strip club Spearmint Rhino. While Sylvia had passed out drunk, Didak accepted a lift home from Hudson and another man at around 4am. This car trip involved firing shots from a handgun out the window of the Mercedes-Benz coupe while crossing Bolte Bridge, a visit to the Hell's Angel's HQ at Campbelltown and more shots fired when police attempted to pull the car over. Didak was dropped off in the city at 6am, where he took a cab home to Kew.

Some two weeks later, Hudson was again at Spearmint Rhino in the early hours. There, he allegedly severely beat a stripper, Autumn Daly-Holt. Minutes later, Hudson was apparently attacking another stripper, Kara Douglas in downtown Melbourne at 8am when bystanders intervened. Solicitor Brendan Keilar and Dutch backpacker Paul de Waard were allegedly shot by Hudson, along with Douglas. While Douglas and de Waard have recovered, sadly Keilar died at the scene. After remaining at large for some days, Hudson turned himself in and is now facing several charges relating to firearms and, of course, murder.


Party Girls: Bashing victim Autumn Daly-Holt and shooting victim Kara Douglas.
Source: The Age

While the events were separated by a week, there is enough commonality in the locations and people involved that Didak is regarded as a witness by the police - albeit one with a terrible memory. From all accounts, Didak did not disclose what had happened, leaving some to argue that had Didak come forwards about Hudson and the gunplay that night, the murder and other violence could have been avoided. Others argue that Didak cannot be expected to anticipate criminality in others - even if they are firing handguns in the city.

However, the real issue is what Didak and Syliva were doing drinking in a strip joint with a motorcycle gang member. The nature of their relationship is unclear but may go back months. Why do these young men seek each others' company? Who, exactly, is trying to impress whom? Certainly, they have a lot in common: plenty of spare time, large amounts of cash and an unhealthy, proprietary attitude to women. It's worth noting that Alan Didak has made these pages before for his public displays of aggression with now ex-girlfriend, Cassie Lane. Similarly, Colin Sylvia has been to court for allegations that he assaulted his girlfriend Elise Whichello, also in public.

This is not the first time friendships between motorcycle gang members and footballers have come to light: the Coffin Cheaters go way back with WA's own Ben Cousins and Michael Gardiner. The word out there now is that Cousins - back from a miracle cure for his raging crystal methamphetamine addiction and eager to prove his suitability to return to the game - is once again associating with Gardiner and others with criminal connections:

The Sunday Age yesterday reported Cousins was last week at Melbourne's Beach Hotel with former teammate Michael Gardiner and Victor Kizon, brother of Perth's John Kizon [a convicted heroin trafficker], and another former Perth man who allegedly works for a company owned by the Coffin Cheaters motorcycle club.

He had travelled to Melbourne with the latter two on a private jet as guests of a Perth real estate company. (The Age, 18/6/2007)

Two years ago, the Hell's Angels allegedly abducted and tortured an "associate" of three Carlton players, Lance Whitnall, Nick Stevens and Heath Scotland. (Yes, that's right, the same Heath Scotland who was convicted of hitting a woman at a nightclub and was alleged to have done it again in Ballarat. Is anyone else detecting a theme here?)

The well-practised response from Collingwood to Didak's behaviour has been by-the-numbers: express "shock", "surprise" and "disappointment". Indicate it's touch-and-go that Something Serious might happen. Wheel out a contrite footballer mumbling some psycho-babble about personal growth and responsibility. Announce some minor restrictions (a curfew!) with regards to that one player. Wait a few days and finally, keep fielding him as if nothing has happened.

Of course, any pretensions of shock or surprise that Didak could involve himself with undesirables while attending Spearmint Rhino were severely undermined by comments made by club president Eddie McGuire last year in an earlier Didak court scandal:

Enter the man with a PhD in Spin, Eddie McGuire. His first salvo - which I sadly cannot cite online as I read it in mX - was to claim that Alan Didak was going home, not heading out to Spearmint Rhino. Apparently, that's a franchised strip club. Only Eddie would employ his intimate working knowledge of Melbourne's sex industry in defence of an embattled player. The logic is that a player can effectively trespass and become a drunken nuisance as long he's not going to a strip club. Interesting. (The Speccy, 10/10/2006)

That's right: Eddie specifically used attendance at Spearmint Rhino as an example of bad behaviour for an AFL player. Sadly, Eddie only banned his players from attending strip clubs after this sordid incident. It begs the question: why did Eddie link Didak to Spearmint Rhino - by name - in October last year? When Did Eddie find out that Didak attends this particular venue? Why did he allow Didak to attend this venue after specifically naming it in this way? Let's hope that someone with more clout than us puts these question to Eddie for a response.

Treating dangerous and bad men like children - curfews and alcohol bans indeed! - will only further infantalise them and encourage them into stupid cat-and-mouse games of monitoring and enforcement. ("Ooh ooh! I saw Didak with a beer at 12:30am!") If these scumbags don't know that it's wrong to beat up women, to hang out with bikies in strip clubs, to involve themselves with gunplay and drugs and organised crime figures, then they shouldn't be on the team. You cannot contract them into being ethical human beings who can represent their clubs with honour.

Unfortunately, most AFL fans have accepted that a number of senior and feted AFL stars have a long-standing relationship with bikies and career criminals. Drugs. Cash. Women. Violence. A match made in heaven. But it's a testament to the basic goodness of the Australian sports-loving public that Didak was repeatedly booed by the large crowd at his first match since his connection went public. (I choose to believe that this included even the die-hard toothless Collingwood fans.)

However, the public needs to go further to signal our discontent. Club officials and players are in a dangerous game of brinkmanship here, seeing how far they can push before we push back. The only language they speak is numbers: crowd attendance and club memberships. The AFL Player Spectator is calling on true football fans to ask themselves the following questions:

• Has footballer behaviour improved since they started not needing real jobs anymore?


• Are you consistently proud of they way your club's players deport themselves in public?


• Has it been good for the game - or the players themselves - that footballers receive hundreds of thousands of our dollars a year in cash?


• Does the behaviour you see week-in week-out reflect the values you'd like to see in your club?


• Given the current AFL and club leadership, do you think it will get better or worse while the money continues to roll in?


• Isn't there a local amateur competition in your area that could do with your support instead?

For years we've watched this rancid culture grow under the nurturing environment provided by professional footy. Enough is enough. We urge Australians to take a break from attending AFL club matches and writing cheques for membership. Please, redirect your energy, support and cash to a local competition. If, at the end of this season, the bean-counters at the AFL clubs actually see a blip in their figures, maybe - just maybe - we'll see some real changes in attitudes that will secure the long-term interests of the game.

*** UPDATE ***
Alan Didak has agreed to give evidence against his drinking buddy and sometime-driver, Christopher Wayne Hudson (formerly of the Hells Angels motorcycling enthusiasts group). While this move is to be commended, there are doubts about Didak's credibility:

Collingwood footballer Alan Didak was with Hudson on the morning of June 12, when shots were allegedly fired from a black Mercedes at a factory in suburban Campbellfield.

The court heard that Didak would offer evidence he was with Hudson on the night of the factory shooting.

It heard forensic evidence would link the firearm in the Campbellfield shooting to the CBD shooting.

However, Hudson's lawyer Theo Magazis told the committal mention hearing Didak's credibility was "very much in issue". (The Age, 7/11/2007)

While it's unlikely that the prosecution's case hinges on Didak's evidence, it does highlight the potential problems that arise when footballers' underworld experiences are "managed" by club spin-doctors.

Citations: The Age, 18/6/2007; The Speccy, 10/10/2006; The Age, 7/11/2007

Word Count: 1720

Tags: footy, underworld, sleaze, bashing

Here We Go Again ... Scandal Deepens

The blood-letting and shock revelations continue as the AFL's worst PR crisis shows no sign of abating. As more evidence of atrocious behaviour, cover-ups, hypocrisy and manipulation come to light there is a growing sense that the public is fed up and that the AFL must act to clean up the game. Here, we cover the latest allegations and evidence in the drugs scandal in what's been a huge week for footy.

After Ben Cousins was dumped by the West Coast Eagles, his dad Bryan Cousins admitted Ben has a serious drug problem. Cousins has been linked with cocaine and crystal methamphetamine ('ice'). However, current reports suggest that he is still in denial about the extent of his addiction that is allegedly costing him around $3000 per week. (This huge sum - over $150K a year - is still less than a fifth of his massive salary.)

Meanwhile, it seems our earlier praise for AFL CEO Andrew Demetriou's response to this issue may have been hasty. Former AFL investigator Rick Lewis alleges that he alerted the then operations manager to rumours and allegations around drug use at the Eagles in 2002, only to have all inquiries shut down. Demetriou - now earning a million bucks a year - flatly denies this. Covert police recordings then emerged on ABC's Lateline where West Coast's Daniel "Special K" Kerr is heard discussing drugs with convicted dealer Shane Waters. Also caught on tape was the Kangaroo's Aaron Edwards and basketballer James Harvey.

Certainly, allegations made by an anonymous ex-girlfriend of Kerr make sense now - his frequent disorientation and confused state was not due solely to his brain being damaged by the standard of conversation amongst his peers, but the debilitating effects of ketamine (a horse tranquiliser). While not caught on tape himself, Cousins was mentioned. It's unlikely any ketamine sourced by the players was used for amateur veterinary purposes.

The bad press kept right on rolling through the weekend. The Sunday Age has continued its expose into the murky underbelly of AFL's brightest stars with another piece by award-winning investigative journalist Andrew Rule. (Rule's heroic earlier piece broke the current media storm, strangely ignored by rival Herald-Sun.) This week's explosive article is mandatory reading and contains more startling allegations:

• An unnamed former AFL player with a massive media profile has long been linked to cocaine use (his identity is an open secret, but will not be revealed here). He is part of a wider police investigation and will likely soon be charged or forced to give evidence.
  
• He is part of a 'rat-pack' of big shots from the AFL, media and entertainment world who order thousands of dollars a week in coke from a well-known "dealer to the stars".
  
• There is a hedonistic 'love boat' in operation:

  The multimillion-dollar pleasure craft is used for weekend cruises on the bay to which selected "guests" pay up to $5000 for unlimited cocaine and sex with escorts. Current and former AFL players and media "players" are believed to be among those who have used the boat.

• With mud flying everywhere, the players' managers are starting to panic:

  The manager of one West Coast player was so concerned at rumours that he took the unusual step of contacting the The Sunday Age to say that if any story were published about his client without "stat decs [statutory declarations], video evidence and an affidavit from his mother" then he would sue for damages.

• West Coast coach John Worsfold concedes that up to eight of his current players have admitted to drug use.
• Collingwood president Eddie McGuire went on 3AW to send a dangerous mixed-message to players, urging them to take a break from recreational drugs until the heat blows over:
  

  "Don't be caught this weekend or any weekend going forward and if you're silly enough to still be on it for God's sake don't do it at the moment ..."

• Convicted former lawyer Andrew Fraser (who spent five years in jail for his own cocaine habit) admits to snorting coke with AFL super-stars and asks (not unreasonably) "why are they a protected species?".
  
• An amusing anecdote - with disturbing undertones - came to light in Spy about The AFL Footy Show:

  With the vexed question of footballers and drugs looming large, two of the top-rating show's stars almost came to blows, with one distinctly unimpressed by a jokey suggestion made during the show that the program's participants could submit to live drug tests on camera. "Never set me up like that again or I'll knock you out," was the not-so-friendly warning.

  Yikes! I wonder if the celebrity in question still had wobbly legs from an erotic nautical adventure?

We can be confident of more dirt and disgrace emerging in the coming weeks. While the current controversy is centred on the West Coast Eagles, it will no doubt spill over into other clubs. The sheer weight of evidence will simply make untenable the past strategy of the clubs and AFL leadership : "plausible deniability" is dead.

Taking a cue from the Howard Government's AWB playbook, this strategy entails sticking to the line "we only heard rumours, nothing concrete" ... while ensuring that nothing concrete could ever turn up by closing down investigations (if police officer Rick Lewis is to be believed, at least) and fighting tooth-and-nail to keep drug use under wraps.

This is not going to wash with the public anymore. Right now, even many apologists and excuse-makers are shocked at this widespread, persistent behaviour from their idolised heroes. But slowly, people will realise all this debauchery is being paid for by their club memberships, pay-TV subscriptions and match tickets. Once this realisation kicks in and cashflow threatened, the AFL executive will be forced to re-examine its deliberately lenient drugs policy and the efficacy of its testing regime. Allegations of masking agents, manuals for avoiding detection, "test-free days" etc will all be looked at.

It will be painful as the public withdraws from its rose-coloured glasses and ugly reality seeps in, but we can all look forwards to a cleaner, safer game.

*** UPDATE ***
More startling allegations of drug abuse by an embittered ex-girlfriend - this time involving Big Cheese Sam Newman. Newman is a boat-owning media "personality" and hardy perennial who trades on his reputation as a bon vivant. He's also the alleged victim of a $100K fraud by an ex, Louisa Glenda Larkin:

[Her lawyer, Paul Holdenson, QC,] said that during her personal relationship with Newman she was introduced to the use of cocaine and ecstasy and later suffered a psychotic episode from her drug use.

Jeffrey Cummins, a forensic psychologist who has been treating Larkin, told the court that Larkin told him she had used drugs sporadically before she met Newman in 1999.

"As a result of being in that relationship she was exposed to excessive drug use ... she became addicted to cocaine," he said. (The Age, 8/11/2007)

Not a good look. But, that's how the other half lives, I guess.

Word Count: 1085

Tags: footy, underworld, drugs, sleaze

Sordid AFL Drug Culture Exposed

An incendiary article in The Sunday Age by investigative journalist Andrew Rule has blown the doors of the hypocrisy and cover-ups surrounding the AFL's illicit drug culture. In the ensuing mad scramble for positioning, more details have leaked out and the ability of clubs and the league itself to deal with this issue looks very shaky.

You can imagine the scene: thousands of mouth-breathing footy fans across Melbourne settle in one Sunday morning to read our premier tabloid, slowly sound out each words. Expecting to catch up on the latest important news about groin injuries and club gossip, instead they are confronted with this horrible headline: Drug abuse, shady dealings rampant among football's finest. Then they skip to the last line of the article: "You haven't lived until you've had a beauty queen snort coke off your dick".

"Ah", they eventually surmise, "this is why we've had to buy Foxtel, endure emotional blackmail about club memberships and choose between getting our kids into private school or the MCG ... so our beloved faultless footballers can snort, pop, drop, smoke and hit up with impunity." After some furrowing of the brow, the verdict came back from the heartland: "We are not well impressed."

If you haven't already read the article - and if you're reading this blog I can't see how you could not - then I strongly recommend checking it out. Andrew Rule has put together a solid piece of research highlighting how the drugs issue ties in with underworld links, off-field violence and other criminality. Importantly, he also shows up the impotence - even reluctance - of clubs to deal with this while their players are kicking goals on the field.

Many of the issues raised by Andrew Rule have been covered here before. The "news story" concerned allegations about a player "flatlining" (ie overdosing) in Las Vegas on a private trip late last year. This was an open secret in footy circles, and the player was later revealed to be Chad Fletcher from (where else?) the West Coast Eagles. His manager, Colin Young, maintains that his three days in hospital were a result of alcohol and a yellow fever vaccination. Given Young's bluster about lawyers and suits right now, I'll leave it up to the big newspapers to take that one on.

Other tidbits covered included:

• Steve Johnson - assault in Wangaratta.


• Brendan Fevola - assault in Ireland.


• Daniel Kerr - multiple assaults in Perth. He asked one (now former) girlfriend to pick him up at a party. His blackouts are so bad he allegedly said "Who are you? Are you my lift?". Scary stuff.


• "The Cocaine Kid" - Should be obvious who, but no names please! Quote: "Girls I know used to go around to his house and he would be snorting coke off the coffee table".


• West Coast Eagles - One cocaine-using player told [a club official] more than half the team were "into it". Worse, at least two club stars were "into the super, whizzbang stuff" so heavily that their supplier gives them other drugs to mask the effects of post-game binges. Oh dear. How effective is the masking agent? How reliable really are these drug tests?


• Laurence Angwin and Karl Norman - busted for turning up to training while still pinging from ecstasy. "There would have been eight blokes (Carlton players) there that day who wouldn't have passed a test. Five out of the nine in the leadership group couldn't make eye contact with us when they called us in because they'd been out with us," [Angwin] said.


• Unnamed Crows Star - "[A respected former coach] tells the story of a Crows star (with reputed shady connections) taking a fishing tackle box on a team trip. Inside were not hooks and sinkers, just dozens of brightly coloured pills. Drugs."

The reaction from the football establishment has been predictable. As mentioned, there's been denial. There's also been tut-tut noises from the coaches and club officials. The only person who's giving a credible performance on this issue is Andrew Demetriou:

"We don't necessarily respond to innuendo and inference," he said.

"If anyone's got any information that relates to an incident in Las Vegas or wherever, they should come forward and they should name names and they should tell us what they know.

"If we think it's of a serious nature we'll act upon it." (FoxSports, 14/3/2007)

I hope this isn't just spin and that Andy is genuinely keen to take - and act on - such tips. Please, feel free to publish your sordid "I did coke with a footballer" stories here. However, names and other legally actionable details will be removed. If you're prepared to tip off the league then get in touch with them directly. I've checked, and there's no hotline as such, but you can go through reception (03) 9643 1999. For email, there is Adrian Anderson's personal assistant - I won't publish her details here due to spam. But you can get in touch with me via email and I will pass them on.

That there's intense, widespread and chronic drug abuse in the ranks of the AFL is not disputed. The Speccy has previously cast doubt on the reliability of testing with just 24 positives out of 500 test! Now there's talk by players of "masking agents", providing one possible explanation for the absurdly low positive rates. We'll wait to see what the latest results have in store.

If the AFL is serious about cracking down on illicit drug abuse they would introduce tougher testing and reporting policies. No more "three strikes and you're outed" bullshit. Hopefully this latest burst of bad publicity will give Demetriou the ammo to stare down the AFL Players Association and implement a policy that will clean up the industry, not protect AFL drug-users who rip of their fans.

Citations: FoxSports, 14/3/2007

Word Count: 1031

Tags: footy, underworld, drugs, sleaze

Lovett - Or Leave It

Essendon's PR flaks have got their hands full with young footballer Andrew Lovett facing startling allegations of hostage-taking and bashing by his ex-girlfriend in a case with eerie parallels with another high-profile player.

Kimberlie Watson, a receptionist and part-time promotions model, made the allegations during an application for an intervention order last year. Lovett was in court this week following an alleged breach of that order. Lovett's not the first AFL player to end up in court over domestic violence (eg Colin Sylvia and Ashley Sampi). Nor is it the first involving a model (Alan Didak). He's not even the first to have the case against him advanced by the Herald-Sun (eg Wayne Carey). But the bizarre and violent nature of his (alleged) behaviour has blown the lid off the deepening scandal about footballers, "police immunity" and how they perceive the special privileges afforded to them under the law.

You can read the whole sordid affair over at The Hun, but the main allegations have been reproduced below:

FOOTBALLER Andrew Lovett's ex-girlfriend claims she feared she would die as he held her hostage and bashed her.

Kimberlie Watson alleges the Essendon forward locked her in his car and hit her on the head and body in a fit of rage that left her bruised and with a bloodied ear.

The receptionist and promotions model complained to police she was dragged by the hair into Lovett's blue Monaro and belted repeatedly as he drove through an industrial area in a frightening 45-minute ordeal.

Ms Watson, 24, told the Herald Sun she was scared she would be killed after ending their 10-month relationship.

"I didn't think I was going to get out of the car alive," she said.

"I could see the evil in his eyes. He wanted to hurt me."

Ms Watson was granted an intervention order against Lovett in court last April. He did not contest the making of the order and the assault allegations were not tested.

...

The case was adjourned to next month.

Ms Watson told the Herald Sun Lovett bombarded her with 180 text messages for two months after their tumultuous breakup on February 4 last year.

In one, he allegedly said he was a "special person" who "could probably get away with murder". (The Herald-Sun, 13/01/2007)

(For more background on the Lovett case - including disgraceful remarks by serial idiot Sam Newman - the thoughtful and balanced article by Phil Cleary is mandatory reading.)

I've never heard of this Lovett bloke before, but I'm starting to get a better picture of him via Kimberlie story:

• Bogan-wagon? A Monaro. Check.


• Model girlfriend? Well, sort of. Check.


• Violent? Bashing someone. Check.


• Dangerous driving? For 45 minutes. Check.


• Misogynistic? Attacking young woman for trying to leave him. Check.


• Spoilt brat? Believes he is a "special person" who can "get away with murder". Check.

Yep, we're dealing with a dinky-di, solid-gold footballer here. Gee, I wonder where on earth he could have picked up the idea that he was "special" and above the law? Could it be the consistent "light touch" policing? The abject failure of magistrates and judges to hold footy players to a fair standard? The fawning and sycophantic media? His Mum?

Whether or not he could actually get away with murder is a matter of some conjecture. Personally, I'm of the view that he is a low-level footballer and would struggle to get a murder swept under the rug. A hit and run? Maybe. Hey - it's not so outlandish. Certainly a number of AFL players have gotten away with stuff in the past due to police (in)action and Victoria's top cop has identified "star struck detectives" as a particular problem.

The club's PR flaks trotted out the usual tripe - blah, blah, "significant personal issues", blah, blah, "counseling", blah, blah "he can fully redeem himself". Interestingly, Essendon managing director Peter Jackson articulated the club's policy on exactly how many times a player is allowed to kidnap and bash a lover before risking sanction: once, and once only. "Andrew is under no illusion that any further behaviour such as this will be tolerated." Got that? They'll tolerate it once, but after that - no more.

While Lovett is awaiting his (next) day in court, he seems to have pulled himself together and has been enjoying himself at the tennis with a new partner. Who'd have him, you might ask? Presumably no woman who reads the newspaper (not even the Herald Sun). No problem, there's always ... Grid Girls! Fortunately Dermot Brereton's ex Ramona Pusch was available:


Slim Pickings: Grid Girl Ramona Pusch
(Source: Foster's Trackside)

Ms Pusch would do well to keep in mind Lovett's (alleged) behaviour last year and the distressing allegations of violence surfacing about that other Grid Girl who landed a big footy player, Kate Neilson. It's not all Brownlow Medal nights, arousing bogans and hours spent holding tyres in a bikini. There's an ugly side to the arrangement too.

*** Update ***
Andrew Lovett had his day in court today for breaching the intervention order taken out against him by Kimberlie Watson:

Magistrate Elizabeth Lambden imposed the [$500 fine] without conviction today after he pleaded guilty to one count of breaching an intervention order at Melbourne Magistrates' Court.

The court heard Lovett approached Kimberlie Watson and kissed her twice at a Maribyrnong nightclub in September last year, breaching an order not to go within 10 metres of her. (The Age, 9/3/2007)

Let's all hope he's learnt his lesson, and that other footballers take note too.

*** UPDATE ***
It finally happened: Essendon stood up to Andrew Lovett by banning him from all pre-season matches for his bad behaviour.

The ban signals how serious new coach Matthew Knights and captain Matthew Lloyd are about cracking down on player misbehaviour.

Essendon football manager Travis Auld said yesterday Lovett had previously been warned he needed to commit himself fully to the club.

...

"He realises in previous years he has got away with things he shouldn't have, so he has accepted it and he is training really well. [Auld said] (Herald Sun, 23/2/2008)

So, what travesty of justice has brought this ban on? Has he been abducting, stalking, attacking, making threats to kill? Breaching intervention orders again, perhaps?

No. He missed training. So the club needed to send a powerful message. Unlike the above incidents, where his power-tripping, abuse and violence were - apparently - not at all a problem for the club.

Disgusting.

How can Bomber fans be happy about someone like that taking to the field in their name? How can they condone officials and a leadership group that thinks it's alright?

Yeah, just shut up, sign the cheque and get the bumper sticker proclaiming how proud you are to be part of such a team.

Citations: The Herald-Sun, 13/01/2007; The Age, 9/3/2007; Herald Sun, 23/2/2008

Word Count: 1201

Tags: footy, bashing, sleaze

While The Cat's Away ...

It seems those naughty footbrawlers have been making the most of the off-season. In my two months away we've seen a predictably disappointing stream of drunken violence from those knobs. Here we give a quick reprise of the major stories that broke during my two month absence: Mitchell, Farmer and Dodd, Cousins, Johnson, Krakouer and Carey. Special thanks to Paul for posting an update.

*** Update ***
We've just added Geelong's Steve Johnson's Christmas-time blow-out to the list of Yuletide incidents. When will the drunken carnage stop?

*** Update 2***
Now included is sneaky Heath Black's sneaky piss. Urinating - or any excuse to get his cock out in public?

Mitchell

The Hawks' Sam Mitchell got into a blue at a Hawthorn pub on the 2nd of December. He copped a hit but there was no injury. According to the damage-control from the Hawthorn spin machine "a scuffle ensued and Mitchell and the patron wrestled to the ground before security staff quickly intervened and separated the pair." (The Age, 4/12/2006). Hasn't been any further news on this one, so I guess we'll never really know what transpired. In all fairness, drunken dickheadry isn't restricted to footballers and it's quite possible that one of the many other dickheads in that part of the world was entirely at fault.

Farmer and Dodd

In best silly-season fashion, Freo's Jeff Farmer and Steven Dodd brought disgrace on the Dockers with a late-night "incident" at the notorious Club Bayview in Claremont, WA. Specifics are still fuzzy, but there the word "altercation" was used - usually PR code for drunken and/or drug-fuelled violence. According to The Age, a patron made a complaint about being struck, but later withdrew the allegation and denied knowing who hit him. Cha-ching! Was that the sound of a cash register slamming shut?

Club Bayview has been the venue for incidents involving AFL players in the past, most notably when West Coast's Andrew Embley was charged with assaulting a man in 2002. In the same month, [Ben] Cousins broke his arm following a fight at the club with teammate Daniel Kerr.

It's not the first time Farmer and Dodd have had disciplinary issues. Farmer pleaded guilty in court to assaulting his long-time girlfriend two years ago, while Dodd was suspended last year after breaking club policy barring players from drinking alcohol while recovering from illness or injury. (SMH, 5/12/2006)

What a pair of charmers. What's going on? Eagles and Dockers are one eighth of the competition but about 50% of aggro and bullshit. Is there something in the water in WA? Or is it just the Small Town Hero writ large?

Cousins

Which leads to the most spectacular celebrity bum - Ben Cousins from the WC Eagles. This gormless fool has once again brought disgrace upon, well, himself and everyone close to him. (Who could forget the booze-bus run?) Cousins was found drunk outside of regular footy playground Crown Casino and was subsequently arrested after a "verbal altercation" with the cops. Police sources described him "absolutely legless" and had him locked up for several hours. The Age has the requisite candid photo (care of Channel Nine, part of the Packer Empire that also owns Crown Casino and hence rights to adjacent security footage).

So, poor old Benny boy gets way too drunk, gets aggro and ends up being arrested - again. What's deeply depressing is the total lack of censure and the kid-gloves handling he gets. Here's a breakdown of the response to his latest shaming:

• The Police. Used their "discretion" to ensure he didn't cop a drunk and disorderly charge. This means he won't have to face court and will get a maximum $100 fine, rendering our justice system a joke. How thoughtful of the police to not inconvenience their sporting hero by applying the laws of the land.


• His club. They refused to sanction him at all, saying that "The club believes that Ben has already received sufficient punishment through the public scrutiny of his arrest." Why? The man clearly has no sense of shame. What punishment has he received? In the absence of a function police force, what else is there?


• His sponsors. The Sydney Morning Herald reports that "West Coast's major sponsors Hungry Jacks and SGIO stressed they sponsored the Eagles rather than Cousins individually. Channel Seven will continue to use Cousins as an ambassador and a weekly guest on Perth news bulletins." So, no commercial sanction or reprimand either. Presumably this means that the public doesn't give a rat's arse either. Nice.


• Government officials. Surely government officials would speak out on the evils of getting yourself blotto, getting aggro with the cops and landing yourself in jail? Well, normally, yes. But not if you're a footy superstar:



WA's Sport and Recreation Department director Ron Alexander, a former Eagles coach, called for Cousins to be cut some slack.

Alexander didn't condone Cousins' behaviour but said there was an unfair fascination with his off-field activities

"It's become a sport to see what Ben's done next," Alexander said. "This appears to be over-magnified, a lot more so than it needs be." (SMH, 9/12/2006)



• Media opinion-makers. There's a sickening apologia and hagiographic novel being pushed by the Fairfax press. Ooh diddums, "unfairly targeted by police" was he? "Visiting sick children" is he? Oh, it's all so monstrously unfair and poor Benny's a victim of a vast footy-hating conspiracy!

What a load of bullshit. Surely, when noted idiot Michael Gardiner is speaking out for you, you're not in a good way. Ben's a bad, bad man with some serious problems. Not least of them is being spoilt, coddled, excused and generally given a free hand to do as he pleases. When no-one - even from the government and judiciary - can step up and lay some home truths on him, this is the result. It's happened before and it will happen again. Wake up, Australia!

Johnson

Next we saw the Pies horror month of court cases roll on, with bad boy brawler Ben Johnson avoiding any further legal inconvenience. Magistrate Felicity Broughton saw fit to let him off without conviction despite his role in a terrible car-park assault:

Johnson, 25, was charged with recklessly causing injury and unlawful assault over a fight involving former Magpie Chris Tarrant outside the Ocean Blue nightclub at Station Pier on July 30.

Bayswater North electrician Robert Howie, 28, was treated in hospital for head injuries after the incident.

Today Johnson appeared at Melbourne Magistrates' Court after successfully applying for a diversion hearing.

...

Ms Broughton ordered Johnson to continue his work at the Epworth, with a minimum requirement of 100 visits over the next 18 months.

She also offered he donate $3,000 to a charity for people with brain injuries and to write a letter of apology to his victim. (The Age, 19/12/2006)

I'm sure that the written apology, forgoing one week's pay and a few hospital visits to people with brain injuries will have more or less zero benefit and deterrence value. What the hell is going on when people can get away with bashing someone to the point of serious head injuries with a token slap on the wrist like this? You'd have to wonder if these liberties would be granted to anyone else.

Krakouer

Richmond Tigers have also been swept up in the pre-Christmas glad tidings, with their young player Andrew Krakouer (allegedly) involved in, yep, drunken violence:

RICHMOND AFL star Andrew Krakouer is likely to plead not guilty to a charge of assault causing grievous bodily harm, his lawyer told a Perth court today.

Krakouer today appeared in Fremantle Magistrates Court with his brother Tyrone Krakouer, 21, also charged with assault causing grievous bodily harm.

Andrew Krakouer, 23, was charged over an incident in Fremantle, on Friday night.

Justin Robin Martin, 24, sustained head injuries in the incident and is in Perth's Charles Gairdner Hospital in a serious but stable condition.

Andrew Krakouer's lawyer John Prior told the court his client "was likely to enter a plea of not guilty".

His brother's lawyer indicated Tyrone Krakouer was also likely to plead not guilty.

Mr Prior asked for Andrew Krakouer's next court appearance to be on January 4 because of his footballing duties.

"My client Andrew Krakouer is a professional footballer who plays for Richmond and he's due to return to Melbourne now," Mr Prior told the court. (The Australian, 19/12/2006)

So another young man with serious head injuries, this time in intensive care. And more courts twisting and turning and bending over backwards to ensure that football "duties" are not overly put out by the demands of justice. (Krakouer can't even claim "diplomatic immunity" like Brodie Holland.) It's just sickening and will continue until the courts, media and general public say "enough is enough" and crack down on the unacceptable violence. We'll keep a close eye on this one and see if there's any justice delivered in the end.

Carey

The (admittedly disreputable) Herald-Sun is running a story about domestic violence in the Wayne Carey/Kate Neilson household. After (allegedly) cheating on his pregnant wife Sally (again), then leaving Sally for the blonde grid girl just six weeks after his wife gave birth, Kate announced she was now "officially" with Woiyne. It seems some ugliness has entered their happy lives together:

WAYNE Carey's girlfriend has told police she was assaulted by the former football champion.

It has been alleged a frightened Kate Neilson went to police after an incident at a Port Melbourne penthouse apartment.

The Herald Sun believes the model told police she was scared to leave the two-time Kangaroos premiership player.

Carey and Ms Neilson have denied the incident, but police sources claim she called 000 after being struck last Thursday, but was so distraught operators couldn't understand her complaint.

It was handed over to police and she went to South Melbourne police station to speak to officers there about 1.30am.

Police have told the Herald Sun that Ms Neilson had minor injuries when she arrived at the station, and she claimed Carey had punched her. (Herald-Sun, 28/12/2006)

Both Wayne Carey and Kate Neilson are denying all of this, with Neilson suggesting that someone made the whole thing up as a prank. I seriously hope that the notorious root-rat isn't adding domestic violence to his repertoire of criminality and that young Kate has the good sense to run a million miles if it's true. Wayne is a bad and untrustworthy man and she should be well-shod of him in any case.

Johnson

Geelong Cats didn't miss out either, with a showing by Steve Johnson at Wangaratta. Any guesses what he got up to? Care for a stab? Here's a clue: he's done this kind of thing before. I'm sure you won't be blown backwards off your chair in astonishment if I tell you that he was arrested for being drunk in a public place. Details are sketchy, but when you consider the overwhelming lenience shown to footballers by police plus the backstory from the last time this happened, it's fair to say more went on than just being drunk in public.

Naturally, the club is disappointed ... that he tried to keep it a secret. But they're not prepared to sanction him - yet. Given his lack-lustre performance and injured knee, it seems his career is hanging in the balance. He could hardly claim this was his first alcohol-driven offence.

Black

Heath Black got pinged for having a sly piss out the front of the Little Creatures breweries, in Fremanle, back on December 9th. Hey, I love that beer!

Black was fined $150 (with $105) costs arising from his guilty plea on the charge of disorderly behaviour. Hmmm, "disorderly"? Perhaps he was splashing it about. In any case, this is the Heath Black who made himself unpopular last year with his Day at the Races seeing a racegoer badly injured after being punched out. Heath's club - Fremantle Dockers - did will to keep this under wraps for a month. I doffs me hat to their PR flacks.

So, nine scandals in a month involving alcohol and/or violence. For godsakes, what is going wrong with these idiots?

*** UPDATE ***
Andrew Krakouer has had his charges upgraded from grievous bodily harm (14 years) to doing an act intended to cause bodily harm (20 years). Along with his co-accussed, the Tigers star is pleading not guilty.

*** UPDATE ***
Some 18 months after the initial assault, it seems justice has finally caught up with Richmond's Andrew Krakouer. He has been jailed for 32 months by District Court Judge Kate O'Brien for his "vicious and cowardly" unprovoked assault outside a Fremantle nightclub. Other words used to describe the attack include "mindless", "persistent" and "brutal". Yep, sounds like a typical footballer. Of course, his club, Richmond, weighed in with glowing reports of his leadership and mentoring abilities. Yep, sounds like a typical footy club too, putting the best spin on things.

While Krakouer (who will be joined in jail by his brother, Tyrone) may be out by next Christmas, let's not forget that his victim, Justin Martin, spent two weeks in intensive care with a smashed up face after being king hit, kicked in the head and suffering seizures, severe cuts and bruises and now a kidney disorder after trying to flee the unexpected and unprovoked assault.

Citations: The Age, 4/12/2006; SMH, 5/12/2006; SMH, 9/12/2006; The Age, 19/12/2006; The Australian, 19/12/2006; Herald-Sun, 28/12/2006

Word Count: 2123

Tags: footy, booze, bashing, sleaze

Footy Chicks - The Movie

I finally got around to watching the documentary Footy Chicks, which lifts the lid on the sexual gamesmanship between professional footballers and their groupies.

Women love watching football. But some footy chicks have more on their mind than just the game. Off the field their goal is to get up close and personal with the players. The possibility of sex with a football player is a fantasy for many women and a reality for some. Footy Chicks explores the scene off the footy field - a colourful world of players and the women who pursue them.

I found this a profoundly disconcerting yet unsatisfying film, telling some of the stories of a few different footy chicks without really putting it into a wider social or psychological context. In particular, there was no contrast with sexual gamesmanship outside of the football world: What makes this warrant a documentary? Nor was there any examination of the interaction between these two worlds: How does the footballer/groupie scene influence wider society? Still, I guess it's not a scholarly undertaking but an entertaining attempt to give outsiders a view into what goes on and (to a degree) the rationalisation of the men and women involved.


Some of the women from Footy Chicks
Source: SBS

It's worth noting that the film is almost entirely devoted to rugby in its various forms (League and Union). I'd guess AFL-specific content at less than 10%. That said, I'm sure the rugby and Aussie Rules worlds are not so dissimilar that the scenarios aren't comparable.

Initially, the bravado of the women getting ready for a night of hunting down footballers was compelling and engaging. But then it sort of turned sour when we saw where it could - and often does - end up with the stories of group sex, attempted and actual rapes, demeaning and dehumanising behaviour, team bonding and sexual conquest. While some stories recounted suggest empowered and sexually confident women, others paint a picture of debasement, exploitation and self-subjugation that I found staggering. Honestly, can you still be enjoying yourself when having sex with the eleventh man? Or does being a vessel through which the team bonds carry its own special satisfaction? These are questions beyond my ken.

Interestingly, this link between group sex (in all its forms: simultaneously, sequentially and in parallel) and team-bonding was drawn out in some analytic detail. While the Footy Chicks shared some anecdotes, it wasn't clear how they saw it and their role in it. That said, one woman relayed that her girlfriend during one session was upset at being "the pig on a spit". Other women recognise that they're "just pussies" to the men, who don't care at all what they look like yet alone who they are. I'm not sure if this awareness is a good thing or not.

Suprisingly for me, the worst stereotypes are confirmed. The women involved in the active (in many cases exclusive) pursuit of players are young and fairly attractive, but we won't be seeing them on the cover of Ralph or Zoo. Pointedly, the one cheerleader interviewed (who could be in those publications) was wary of footballers as partners on the grounds that they're stuck up and prone to cheating. The Footy Chicks are primarily motivated by the physicality of the footballers, in particular their height. And their social status and, well, achievability.

Certainly, sex is the big driver. One woman had a collection of photos of naked players on her phone as trophies. She also pointed out the footballers she'd had "Ronnie" (her slang for sex) with and rated their competence. Yet in fantasising about players, this same Footy Chick talks about having her hair noticed, being picked up, getting married and making baby footballers. This somewhat infantile remark seemed at odds with the rest of her actions and attitudes. Is that deep down what she really wants or even expects? More realistic motivations (ascribed to others) are limited to bragging rights amongst other groupies and "tickets to the Brownlows". While some of the women some talked of being "elevated" to the realm of girlfriends or even wives, comments from the men indicated that in their minds there is a clear distinction between "girlfriend material" and, well, the others.

This tension - get noticed, get known, but don't get labelled a slut - wasn't really teased out, but would have made for some interesting analysis. In particular, interviews with women who "made it" as players' girlfriends and wives asking how they dealt with that tension and the widespread infidelity would have added emotional depth to the film. Is there a bargain? How is struck? How is it monitored and enforced? Perhaps these are topics for a follow-up documentary.

If you're at all interested in the sexual politics of Australian footy, this is a must-see doco. It's not for the squeamish and, while it didn't drive to the misanthropic despair it seemed to inflict on Speccy regular Ben Wallace, the ugliness and baseness with which people can treat each other certainly left a nasty taste in my mouth.

Trailer on Fairfax

Web Chat on SBS

*** UPDATE ***
Please be advised that this disturbing documentary is re-screening on SBS this Friday, 1st of June, at 10pm. Anyone with a strong stomach and an interest in footballer behaviour should check out this insiders' account of sexploitation and predation.

Word Count: 929

Tags: footy, rape, culture, sleaze