Regular commentator Ben Wallace wrote in to let us know about a skirmish at a Melbourne nightclub involving a Collingwood player and his model girlfriend. No, not that one! This is new. Let's see how the Hun is running the story:
COLLINGWOOD young gun Alan Didak was forced to leave an A-list nightclub after a confrontation with another patron following a fiery spat with his model girlfriend.
Didak, touted as a possible All-Australian after a stellar season, allegedly lunged at a man at Boutique in Prahran just before midnight on Saturday. Witnesses told the Herald Sun he and girlfriend Cassie Lane had been in a public screaming match.
The argument was said to have been heard by many regular patrons.
"It was obvious they were having a huge fight," one club patron told the Herald Sun.
A witness said the screaming match started after Lane began talking to another man. Didak, 23, then allegedly lunged towards the man.
Witnesses said security staff stepped in to defuse any possible trouble.(Herald-Sun, 14/8/2006)
We've seen how these public blues between footballers and the women in their lives often end up in court. It's not unexpected that you'd be frightened at the prospect of a pummeling from an enormous professional grid iron footballer. What a sec - did I say grid iron? Why, yes. Ms Cassie Lane has the dubious honour of representing New York in the Lingerie Bowl 2004. (Given how boring American football is, the poor sex-starved Americans get a little half-time show in the super bowl in case there are no wardrobe malfunctions to keep them, err, titillated.)
Now, I don't have any images of the actual stoush, but I'm surely not alone in hoping it involved the visually-pleasing spectacle of Ms Lane in full glamazon battle-dress stepping up ... something like this:
Sources: Times of India and Driver's Match Photos
I'm not sure that Boutique is the kind of club where lingerie football attire is accepted, but I'm sure if Ms Lane showed up in it there'd be no problems at the door. Hell, a quick perusal of her body of work suggests this outfit is the most substantial one in her wardrobe!
Where's all the agro coming from? I don't think it's just the fact that she's played football at a higher level than him. It seems to me that if you go out with someone who makes a living arousing people sexually (lingerie modelling, online nude spreads, Ralph magazine features) and providing the public with wank-fodder, then you really shouldn't be the jealous type. Am I wise beyond my years? Hardly. It's just common sense.
Still, I was disappointed with the response of the Collingwood Football Club to the incident:
Collingwood Football Club CEO Greg Swann last night said Didak had done nothing wrong in the eyes of the club on Saturday night. When asked if the club would be making a statement, Mr Swann said: "Nothing happened, so why would we? (Herald-Sun, 14/8/2006)
Because it's market sensitive information, you dolt! This is exactly the kind of news that clubs should be releasing to the market under "continuous disclosure" rules. Whether or not Didak is likely to be charged could influence prices on Collingwood's contracts significantly.
I see we're in for a long and painful process of educating clubs as to the responsible dissemination of information material to market prices.
Alan Didak gave away a few pointers about his argument's with Cassie Lane in an earlier interview:
Didak freely admits [Lane] intimidates him.
"She's a really smart girl, so when we have the odd argument, she uses big words to distract me and outsmart me, which frustrates me even more," he laughs. "It's good you know, because every now and then, she'll bring out this fact and I can sort of see the truth behind it." (The Age, 12/5/2006)
Why wouldn't he be intimidated? She's taller, older, smarter, better educated, played football at a higher level, better looking and more famous.
Could this explain the very odd - and public - argument at Boutique? Perhaps that's what happened the other night: too many big words and Didak got frustrated. Hence all the bellowing and intimidation. I wonder what some of those big words were? Anyone at the club - or adjoining suburbs - care to share?
Meanwhile, the rest of the interview contains wonderful stories of toilet-based pranking, Didak's failed website, the news that Cassie is studying - wait for it - PR and heaps of new-age sentimentality about how he's grown up. Geez, what was he like when he was still an arse-clown?
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