Ben Cousins Arrested and Sacked for Drugs

West Coast Eagle's great Ben Cousins has fulfilled all our expectations with a spectacular flame-out that has left the football world reeling. He was arrested by detectives in Perth, charged with drug offences and then promptly sacked by his club. While he has thrown away his $800K/year career, he can now indulge freely in his great love - drug-taking.

It hardly came as a surprise. The weeks after the finals are traditionally a time for footballers to get a little crazy. Maybe take some extra risks. For Cousins, the temptation was just too great.

Cousins' A Goner.
Source: Daily Telegraph.

Here's how Ben Cousins' horror day, October 16th, 2007, played out:

In a statement, police said they stopped Cousins' vehicle on Newcastle St, Perth around 11.30am after he came to their attention "due to the manner of his driving".

They allegedly found a quantity of prohibited drugs after searching the four-wheel drive vehicle.

The 29-year-old West Coast Eagles' midfielder was taken for questioning to the Traffic Enforcement Group headquarters in East Perth.

Police will allege Cousins failed to provide a sample of his blood for analysis.

Nine Network television footage showed Cousins, shirtless, being led by a detective from his vehicle to a police car, where he sat in the back seat between two officers. (The Daily Telegraph, 16/10/2007)

If you want the gory details, here's the video footage of Cousins' Walk of Shame:



Cousins' car was searched and some prescription drugs (Valium) was found. Cousins does not have a prescription for the drug, commonly used to soften the come down from crystal meth and ecstasy. Cousins refused to take a driving competency test or provide a saliva sample for drug testing.

Interestingly, Cousins was not so shy about the AFL drug tests. He passed 14 of them, despite having a raging "substance abuse problem" costing a reported $3000 per week. There are mixed reports about whether or not he asked for - and passed - a test following the death of former Weagle and mentor Chris Mainwaring. Cousins had visited the troubled "Mainy" twice in the hours before his death and Mainwaring's toxicology report revealed a cocktail of drugs, including cannabis, cocaine, ecstasy, anti-depressants and alcohol.

If Cousins has been using illicit drugs, I'm not surprised he refused a drugs test by WA police. After all, the police will not give you a week's notice before the test. Nor will they accept "sorry, can't provide a sample right now" as an excuse - unlike certain other drugs testers.

Also in Cousins' car were two young women - described as "scantily clad" - but it's not yet clear what charges they may face, if any. At the same time, his out-of-contract team mate Daniel Chick was also pulled over and investigated. A passenger in this vehicle, Nathan Greaves, has been charged with possession of cocaine and cannabis following a search of his house. Methamphetamines and "drug paraphernalia" (presumably various glass pipes and/or scales and baggies) were also found.

It looks a lot like this cosy little par-tay was interrupted by the police. The predictable whiners and apologists over at the Big Footy forum had the usual mix of conspiracy theories and heads-in-the-sand, decrying this as a "sting operation" targeting Cousins and a waste of public resources. Here's a tip kids: if you wander into the middle of a drugs sweep in your pimp-wagon and drive erratically, you'll get pulled. What's more, getting drug-affected motorists off the road is a good use of our tax dollars, regardless of how wealthy, famous or talented they are.

It seems certain that Cousins will never play professional footy again. He was already on a strict contract with the club following his very public fall from grace in March this year, triggering an expensive - but ultimately ineffective - bout of rehab. It was always doomed to failure, requiring him to, amongst things, avoid underworld figures. (Technically, just turning up to training with the West Coast Illegals constituted a breach of this clause.) His half-arsed "public apology" was that of an unrepentant man.

While his time at the top has been relatively short, he packed a lot in. Brawling with Daniel Kerr. Giving advice (along with Michael Gardiner) to outlaw motorcycle gangs over their nightclub shootings. Fleeing a booze bus on foot. Collapsing out the front of a casino late at night. These are the sorts of punk-acts that he will be remembered as throwing away his career over: an arrogant spoilt brat who believed all his own hype and, in the end, wasn't big enough where it counted.

Ben Cousins had the whole world at his feet. A good-looking rich kid with a staggering talent for footy. Adoration from millions of fans. A salary 20 times greater than others his age. The highest awards from the game, including the Brownlow Medal. He had been given "one last chance" so many times that his club was a joke. So keen were they to ensure his brilliance continued despite the damage, the League had to step in and threaten to take away premiership points to get them to act.

Well, they've finally done it. They tried everything to look the other way but, coming on top of Mainwaring's death just two weeks ago and lost sponsors, they just ran out of ladder and had to let Cousins drop. Even the players' union, under Brendon Gale, have washed their hands of him.

That a selfish drug culture has been allowed to flourish in Perth is undeniable. Many former players and leaders are calling for further action for club officials. Here at The Speccy, we're calling for an inquiry into the AFL's drug problem by an independent retired judicial figure - at the AFL's expense, not the taxpayers'. The outcome of this inquiry should determine what's happened and who's responsible before making recommendations for drug policy reform in the League.

The AFL cannot afford to wait for further careers to be destroyed - yet alone lives lost - before acting.

*** UPDATE ***
Cousins has had his (first) day in court and been allowed out on bail:

In a brief court appearance, Cousins was remanded on bail for 90 days to reappear in the same court on January 21 to face charges of drug possession and refusing to undergo a driver assessment.

Lawyer for Cousins, Shane Brennan, told the court had had spoken to police prosecutors who had agreed to the long adjournment. (The West Australian, 18/10/2007)

He is now free to return to $5,000/day rehab in the US. One can only presume that the court decided it's safe for him to leave the country on the grounds that all his drug dealers are here.

*** UPDATE ***
News services are reporting that the possession charge against Ben Cousins has been dropped. It's not yet clear if Cousins actually "found" a prescription for his Valium or if former team-mate and sparring partner Daniel Kerr (who has a conviction for fraudulently passing a Valium script) kindly sourced one for him. Or, maybe, rich people just don't need scripts?

In any case, his charge of refusing to subject himself to a drug test is proceeding:

[The West Coast Eagles] released a statement that it had been informed by the West Australian police that the charge of being in possession of a prohibited substance had been dropped.

The club noted however that, "this does not change the club position or the decision made on Wednesday to terminate Ben's contract because of repeated and serious breaches to his agreement with the club". (Sportal, 19/10/2007)

Here's more juicy details about what was found in his car, including the suggestion of "hammerheading" or (groan) "sextasy" - combining Viagra with ecstasy:

They say other drugs were found in the car including the prohibited pain-killer, OxyContin, Viagra and an anti-depressant.

A $20 note with traces of cocaine and MDMA or ecstasy, was also found on one of the passengers in Cousins' car. (ABC, 19/10/2007)

Quite the little party for a Tuesday morning, wouldn't you say? Doesn't really change much since the possession charge was always going to be tricky; all that coke and dope were carefully stashed in the other car. Not that it was Benny's gear. I mean, who on earth would leave their precious stash in Daniel Chick's car?

*** UPDATE ***
Rumours of Ben Cousins' five-day cocaine binge in LA have been confirmed. News media are reporting that he was hospitalised, after a friend, software sales manager Susie Ella, made an emergency 911 call at 5am:

THE emergency early morning call to the Hermosa Beach Police Department last week described a 29-year-old man "on cocaine not acting right". Later, the caller added, the man "has been on cocaine for the past five days".

...

The Herald has confirmed that Cousins was admitted to the Little Company of Mary hospital, in the adjoining suburb of Torrance, soon after the emergency call. Cousins remained at the hospital for two days before being discharged on Friday, November 2.

...

It described Cousins as "not acting right, is conscious and breathing". She told the operator Cousins had been on cocaine for the previous five days. She said he was "not being violent, is just scared". (SMH, 10/11/2007)

Absent a PR firm on retainer, Cousins' poor old dad Bryan was left to do the spinning while Cousins was on a coke bender and being rushed to hospital. Of more concern is that allegation that he spent a couple of nights in Sydney with the notorious Michael Gardiner - hardly the actions of a man hell-bent on getting clean.

I suspected that his "network" in LA might consist of anyone with cocaine. While this is a large group - especially in Los Angeles - I didn't think that he would end up hanging with the IT crowd. As the Yanks say - go figure.

*** UPDATE ***
In a startling admission of the impact Ben Cousins has on his team-mates, former West Coast player Glen Jakovich has spoken up about his relief at seeing Cousins sacked:

"Players will excel because the Cousins factor is gone," Jakovich said. "I truly believe players, young and older, felt intimidated by Cousins while he was in an unfit state to engage in training and team requirements.

"You can't win a premiership if things are not right off the field. It ruins team morale. (Herald-Sun, 13/1/2008)

We hear of phenomena like amphetamine psychosis and, from watching US reality crime show Cops, it looks very frightening. So while Cousins isn't a large man by any stretch, it's disturbing to think he could still intimidate the huge players in a violence-prone club like West Coast.

I guess this is one more reason to get serious about drug testing in the AFL. Those players who opt out of footy's drug culture shouldn't have to put up with intimidation by their colleagues.

Citations: The Daily Telegraph, 16/10/2007; The West Australian, 18/10/2007; Sportal, 19/10/2007; ABC, 19/10/2007; SMH, 10/11/2007; Herald-Sun, 13/1/2008

Word Count: 1938

Tags: footy, drugs, underworld

Pies in Police Shooting Scandal

It seems that everyone wants to impress our beloved footballers. Sadly, it's not just members of the Hell's Angels Motorcycle Club that believe a little gunplay will win the footy stars over: now it seems Victoria's police are using this same tried and true technique to suck up to their sporting heroes.

To say that Victoria Police enjoys a cosy relationship with AFL players is an understatement. It's not just the frequent and regular contact that police have with players in a professional capacity - it's the common interests and shared locker room cultures that gives police and footballers a special bond. Not to mention what they can do for each other.

Police are very accommodating of players. They will roar through traffic with lights and sirens to deliver a footballer (Saverio Rocca) to his son's birth - and then clumsily try to cover it up. This isn't an isolated incident - police are more than happy to ferry drunken footballers like David Johnson around in their own personal taxi service. Presumably, they get a buzz from having a player in the back seat. Police will also use "discretion" liberally when dealing with their favoured sons.

Sometimes, this cosiness crosses the line of decency, such as in the Heath Culpitt "missing rape evidence" scandal at Crown Casino. Victoria's top detective, Simon Overland, freshly imported from NSW, was clearly aghast at the favouritism displayed by local police to even the most obscure and talentless footballer:

Mr Overland admitted that while most police were not reluctant to investigate famous people, he could not discount the possibility that some officers "wouldn't be intimidated or wouldn't have other reasons for perhaps not pursuing allegations against high-profile people as vigorously as they might". (The Age, 10/02/05)

There have been other cases where footballer-friendly cops have "bulldozed" sex crime investigations, infuriating other police. Lord knows what other incidents have been mishandled, buried or simply not raised with police. After all, if the top detective has no confidence in his detectives, why should a rape or bashing victim?

Of course, all this cosiness takes on a far more sinister edge in light of the ongoing gangland violence and police corruption investigations in Victoria (eg Purana). It looks likely that corrupt police were involved in some of the killings. Certainly, corrupt police have been jailed for drug activities. Others have resigned under a cloud. Links between police and underworld figures are aired and - very gently - probed by the media. And let's not forget the extensive links between underworld figures and certain footballers (*cough* Ben Cousins *cough* Michael Gardiner *cough*).

Against this back drop of cosiness, special favours and corruption, we remember that Collingwood's Alan Didak formed a special bond with drug-dealing Hell's Angel Chris Hudson (now facing murder and firearms charges). This culminated in the so-called "Hell Ride" where Didak was taken from city stripclub Spearmint Rhino (where he was hanging out with footballers like Colin Syliva) to hang out at the Hell's Angels Melbourne chapter's fortress-compound in an outer-suburban industrial estate.

While it was never clear exactly who was trying to impress whom, it's clear that a mutual interest in speed played a role in the ugly courtship. Strippers too. And guns. Shots at the bar were (allegedly) followed by shots fired out of the car as they crossed the Bolte Bridge. More shots were (allegedly) fired later at a police car attempting to intercept the vehicle. While Didak was keeping quiet, the firing of guns in close proximity clearly left an impression on him. Sadly, just a few days later, Hudson went off the deep end and (allegedly) beat up one stripper, killed another stripper and a passer-by who tried to help her, and wounded another brave interloper.

How insensitive then, for Victoria's police to invite Alan Didak and the rest of the Collingwood Football Club to come down to their heavily-fortified suburban compound and blaze away with guns. Presumably miffed at being upstaged by the underworld, Victoria Police thought they could up the ante a little and woo the footballers back by letting footballers loose on the firing range:

A spokesman for the office confirmed last night that a complaint about members of an AFL club was being examined.

The complaint alleges that those involved falsely signed affidavits that they were intending to join a gun club - a condition of entry to the rifle range at the Victoria Police academy at Glen Waverley.

Channel Nine last night named Collingwood as the club involved. It was also reported last night that retiring captain Nathan Buckley and coach Mick Malthouse were among those who attended the range. (The Age, 11/10/2007)

The Office of Police Integrity - widely panned as a comparatively toothless tiger and enduring constant restructuring - will be looking into the matter. Falsifying an affidavit is a serious offence. Of more concern is the lapse in judgement by senior figures within Collingwood and the police. Why on Earth would police think that inviting the boys from a footy club down to shoot guns on their firing range would be an appropriate use of taxpayer resources? Let's face it: over the next few years the Collingwood Football Club is likely to remain an important source of work for the police. Is it appropriate that they socialise like this? And - as with underworld relationships - just who is doing the impressing here?

The OPI will also examine if people who fire weapons, even under supervision, require shooting licences.

The Herald Sun said the visit was approved by “very senior” police.

Magpies CEO Gary Pert confirmed players visited the shooting range at the police academy in Glen Waverley as part of a leadership program with the force. (Herald-Sun, 11/10/2007)

Oh dear. It seems this wasn't a bonding day for the Magpies, but a reward for senior police. I am ashamed that the police force that is meant "to uphold the right" is prostituting itself by enticing footballers - many of them with underworld contacts and criminal histories - with the prospect of gunplay. Our police are so desperate to bathe in the reflected glory of their teenaged heroes that they offer up their firing range as a lure, determined to outbid the bikie gangs.

At the very least, there's a prima facie case that our police have a) too much money b) not enough nous about how to spend it. Remember, this wasn't a spontaneous act of stupidity by 21 year-old cops and footballers; this was sanctioned at the highest level of both organisations and displays a disregard by senior police for the resources entrusted to them and concern for their judgement involving community sensitivities.

That young police recruits should be exposed to the wink-wink culture of protecting feted AFL sporting stars is disappointing. That police and Collingwood would overlook the club's connection to a shooting incident that horrified the nation is puzzling. That our police - well-paid and resourced as they are - should resort to gunplay to fawn over and pander to footballers is, sadly, entirely in keeping with this town's social hierarchy.

Citations: The Age, 11/10/2007; Herald-Sun, 11/10/2007

Word Count: 1197

Tags: footy, scandals, underworld, spoilt_rotten

Footballers Make Bad Company

In a move that has shocked even seasoned AFL player watchers, Collingwood's Alan Didak has been named and weakly-chastised for partying with Hell's Angel and alleged drug dealer and murderer Christopher Wayne Hudson. The persistent and widespread association between footballers and organised crime figures - especially bikies - can no longer be ignored and demands urgent action by footy's real fans.

The scene on Thursday, June 28 was depressingly familiar - a po-faced footballer uncomfortable in a shirt and tie, an angry club official, the salivating media and the glare of the public gaze as yet another footballer awkwardly stumbles his way through a written statement. This time, however, it wasn't another drink-driving or drug scandal. This time, the statement revealed that the ugly mutual appreciation and respect between outlaw motorcycle gang members and professional athletes had real repurcussions.

Excusing the Inexcusable: Didak's mea culpa
Source: The Age

It transpired that very late on the Saturday of the Queen's Birthday weekend, Alan Didak, Colin Sylvia and Chris Hudson were drinking together in a number of nightspots in Melbourne, including the strip club Spearmint Rhino. While Sylvia had passed out drunk, Didak accepted a lift home from Hudson and another man at around 4am. This car trip involved firing shots from a handgun out the window of the Mercedes-Benz coupe while crossing Bolte Bridge, a visit to the Hell's Angel's HQ at Campbelltown and more shots fired when police attempted to pull the car over. Didak was dropped off in the city at 6am, where he took a cab home to Kew.

Some two weeks later, Hudson was again at Spearmint Rhino in the early hours. There, he allegedly severely beat a stripper, Autumn Daly-Holt. Minutes later, Hudson was apparently attacking another stripper, Kara Douglas in downtown Melbourne at 8am when bystanders intervened. Solicitor Brendan Keilar and Dutch backpacker Paul de Waard were allegedly shot by Hudson, along with Douglas. While Douglas and de Waard have recovered, sadly Keilar died at the scene. After remaining at large for some days, Hudson turned himself in and is now facing several charges relating to firearms and, of course, murder.


Party Girls: Bashing victim Autumn Daly-Holt and shooting victim Kara Douglas.
Source: The Age

While the events were separated by a week, there is enough commonality in the locations and people involved that Didak is regarded as a witness by the police - albeit one with a terrible memory. From all accounts, Didak did not disclose what had happened, leaving some to argue that had Didak come forwards about Hudson and the gunplay that night, the murder and other violence could have been avoided. Others argue that Didak cannot be expected to anticipate criminality in others - even if they are firing handguns in the city.

However, the real issue is what Didak and Syliva were doing drinking in a strip joint with a motorcycle gang member. The nature of their relationship is unclear but may go back months. Why do these young men seek each others' company? Who, exactly, is trying to impress whom? Certainly, they have a lot in common: plenty of spare time, large amounts of cash and an unhealthy, proprietary attitude to women. It's worth noting that Alan Didak has made these pages before for his public displays of aggression with now ex-girlfriend, Cassie Lane. Similarly, Colin Sylvia has been to court for allegations that he assaulted his girlfriend Elise Whichello, also in public.

This is not the first time friendships between motorcycle gang members and footballers have come to light: the Coffin Cheaters go way back with WA's own Ben Cousins and Michael Gardiner. The word out there now is that Cousins - back from a miracle cure for his raging crystal methamphetamine addiction and eager to prove his suitability to return to the game - is once again associating with Gardiner and others with criminal connections:

The Sunday Age yesterday reported Cousins was last week at Melbourne's Beach Hotel with former teammate Michael Gardiner and Victor Kizon, brother of Perth's John Kizon [a convicted heroin trafficker], and another former Perth man who allegedly works for a company owned by the Coffin Cheaters motorcycle club.

He had travelled to Melbourne with the latter two on a private jet as guests of a Perth real estate company. (The Age, 18/6/2007)

Two years ago, the Hell's Angels allegedly abducted and tortured an "associate" of three Carlton players, Lance Whitnall, Nick Stevens and Heath Scotland. (Yes, that's right, the same Heath Scotland who was convicted of hitting a woman at a nightclub and was alleged to have done it again in Ballarat. Is anyone else detecting a theme here?)

The well-practised response from Collingwood to Didak's behaviour has been by-the-numbers: express "shock", "surprise" and "disappointment". Indicate it's touch-and-go that Something Serious might happen. Wheel out a contrite footballer mumbling some psycho-babble about personal growth and responsibility. Announce some minor restrictions (a curfew!) with regards to that one player. Wait a few days and finally, keep fielding him as if nothing has happened.

Of course, any pretensions of shock or surprise that Didak could involve himself with undesirables while attending Spearmint Rhino were severely undermined by comments made by club president Eddie McGuire last year in an earlier Didak court scandal:

Enter the man with a PhD in Spin, Eddie McGuire. His first salvo - which I sadly cannot cite online as I read it in mX - was to claim that Alan Didak was going home, not heading out to Spearmint Rhino. Apparently, that's a franchised strip club. Only Eddie would employ his intimate working knowledge of Melbourne's sex industry in defence of an embattled player. The logic is that a player can effectively trespass and become a drunken nuisance as long he's not going to a strip club. Interesting. (The Speccy, 10/10/2006)

That's right: Eddie specifically used attendance at Spearmint Rhino as an example of bad behaviour for an AFL player. Sadly, Eddie only banned his players from attending strip clubs after this sordid incident. It begs the question: why did Eddie link Didak to Spearmint Rhino - by name - in October last year? When Did Eddie find out that Didak attends this particular venue? Why did he allow Didak to attend this venue after specifically naming it in this way? Let's hope that someone with more clout than us puts these question to Eddie for a response.

Treating dangerous and bad men like children - curfews and alcohol bans indeed! - will only further infantalise them and encourage them into stupid cat-and-mouse games of monitoring and enforcement. ("Ooh ooh! I saw Didak with a beer at 12:30am!") If these scumbags don't know that it's wrong to beat up women, to hang out with bikies in strip clubs, to involve themselves with gunplay and drugs and organised crime figures, then they shouldn't be on the team. You cannot contract them into being ethical human beings who can represent their clubs with honour.

Unfortunately, most AFL fans have accepted that a number of senior and feted AFL stars have a long-standing relationship with bikies and career criminals. Drugs. Cash. Women. Violence. A match made in heaven. But it's a testament to the basic goodness of the Australian sports-loving public that Didak was repeatedly booed by the large crowd at his first match since his connection went public. (I choose to believe that this included even the die-hard toothless Collingwood fans.)

However, the public needs to go further to signal our discontent. Club officials and players are in a dangerous game of brinkmanship here, seeing how far they can push before we push back. The only language they speak is numbers: crowd attendance and club memberships. The AFL Player Spectator is calling on true football fans to ask themselves the following questions:

• Has footballer behaviour improved since they started not needing real jobs anymore?


• Are you consistently proud of they way your club's players deport themselves in public?


• Has it been good for the game - or the players themselves - that footballers receive hundreds of thousands of our dollars a year in cash?


• Does the behaviour you see week-in week-out reflect the values you'd like to see in your club?


• Given the current AFL and club leadership, do you think it will get better or worse while the money continues to roll in?


• Isn't there a local amateur competition in your area that could do with your support instead?

For years we've watched this rancid culture grow under the nurturing environment provided by professional footy. Enough is enough. We urge Australians to take a break from attending AFL club matches and writing cheques for membership. Please, redirect your energy, support and cash to a local competition. If, at the end of this season, the bean-counters at the AFL clubs actually see a blip in their figures, maybe - just maybe - we'll see some real changes in attitudes that will secure the long-term interests of the game.

*** UPDATE ***
Alan Didak has agreed to give evidence against his drinking buddy and sometime-driver, Christopher Wayne Hudson (formerly of the Hells Angels motorcycling enthusiasts group). While this move is to be commended, there are doubts about Didak's credibility:

Collingwood footballer Alan Didak was with Hudson on the morning of June 12, when shots were allegedly fired from a black Mercedes at a factory in suburban Campbellfield.

The court heard that Didak would offer evidence he was with Hudson on the night of the factory shooting.

It heard forensic evidence would link the firearm in the Campbellfield shooting to the CBD shooting.

However, Hudson's lawyer Theo Magazis told the committal mention hearing Didak's credibility was "very much in issue". (The Age, 7/11/2007)

While it's unlikely that the prosecution's case hinges on Didak's evidence, it does highlight the potential problems that arise when footballers' underworld experiences are "managed" by club spin-doctors.

Citations: The Age, 18/6/2007; The Speccy, 10/10/2006; The Age, 7/11/2007

Word Count: 1720

Tags: footy, underworld, sleaze, bashing

Open Letter To The AFL's Drug Dealers

I'm not going to lie to you all: this has been a tough month for dealing drugs to AFL players. Once your most loyal customers, with deep pockets and all the time in the world, these men have now gone to ground. Demand has dried up. But it's not all doom and gloom. With a positive attitude, you will soon be able to resume business as usual.

It wasn't meant to be this way. Over the last couple of years, all the spade work you dealers had done getting to know the players had paid off. Friendships were forged. Some of you came to rely on the wise counsel of the players during your darkest hours. And business was booming! Who'd have thought crystal meth would be so popular. This stuff practically sells itself.

You've all had a great run this past ten years. With footy salaries averaging $200,000 a year, there was heaps of cash going spare. There's a limit to how much free-time the X-Box and Playstation can soak up. That's where you guys came in, offering a range of select products to the well-heeled and unscrupulous.

Product was being shipped by the tackle box. Not only that, but the flow-on effect for your business was astounding: every wannabe and hanger-on and impressionable teenager knows that cocaine and success are synonymous. Pills and powders are the secret trappings of wealth and fame. Ice is cool. Pay-per-trip love-boat cruises with whores, $20,000 coke parties with groupies, binges and benders, uppers and downers ... a role-model footballer is reported in the popular press saying that having cocaine snorted from his dick by a beauty queen is a life highlight. Dealing to footy stars is a marketing coup!

Of course, the decision to sell drugs to some big names in footy media was also inspired. Not only would this add to the general buzz about drug-taking ('rat-pack' indeed!), it would also compromise informed and influential opinion-leaders. All of a sudden, it was about "inconspicuous consumption" - with a nod and wink and subtle sniff on leaving the toilets. It's this kind of strategic thinking that sets you guys apart from the street-level dealers that are so rightfully locked-up for their brazen stupidity.

The only storm-cloud on the horizon was the prospect of rigorous drug testing. Thankfully, you guys managed to dodge a very scary bullet. Who'd have imagined the net effect of a powerful union and wishy-washy health academics would be to water down the testing regime to the point of uselessness? Drug dealers everywhere were grateful for that one. Even the threat of players being named and shamed was neutralised by the courts. While drug dealers weren't allowed direct representation during the trial, your interests were well served. What a relief!

Now, the positive results are heading south and look set to disappear entirely. This is not unexpected; after all, the AFL executive, the AFL Players' Association and the players themselves have as much - if not more - to lose from drug positives as the dealers. You guys can always take a paycut and deal to lesser mortals, whereas these professionals are committed to this one sport.

It was all peachy until those bastards at The Sunday Age got stuck in. Yes, I'm talking about Andrew Rule and his incendiary article. To pour petrol on the flames, he followed it up with more scandalous revelations. Poor old Ben Cousins copped it in the neck. What a disaster. It's not just the $3000 a week - a mere blip in the ocean of AFL drug cashflows - but the public scrutiny. No dealer wants to see their high-volume, trend-setting drug consumers in rehab. Or have their private phone calls with favoured customers played on Lateline. With politicians demanding "toughening up" of the policy (it is an election year), there's a serious danger the AFL will react and make some rash changes.

Right now, you guys are hurting. Sure, a few of the regulars are still buying but we hear it's slowed to a trickle. But there's no reason to abandon all hope. There's still plenty to be up-beat about for the AFL's illicit drug suppliers:

• Fickle attention. While AFL supporters can recall the 1967 Grand Final with amazing accuracy, they have trouble recalling details from last night's news. Three or four more laps of the goldfish bowl and they will have forgotten all about this horrid affair.
• Systemic changes. There won't be any. It's looking increasingly likely that the AFL will stick to its guns and leave the illicit drug-testing policy exactly how you'd like it - "don't test, don't tell".
• Changing technology. With talk of masking agents and manuals for "beating the tests" in circulation, player confidence in being able to indulge safely will only increase. Those low testing frequencies and positive rates will only embolden the players and tap unmet demand.
• Purchasing power. AFL salaries continue to climb - around 10% a year - meaning more cash available for more drugs.
  

And don't forget, you guys all owe a big thanks to Thorpie for his heroic distraction. God bless him.

I can't say when it will return to business as usual. Maybe a few weeks. Maybe a few months. But not too long. Eddie McGuire, whose expertise in media and football is not to be underestimated, discusses the New World Order and gives advice to players:

"I think there's enough warning signs now that so-called recreational drugs - if they're in it and are part of the party scene, it is now absolutely out of bounds." [McGuire said].

...

"I think what is going to be interesting now for the players is it's not just keeping it away from mum and dad and the club president and the coach," he said.

...

"Don't be caught this weekend or any weekend going forward and if you're silly enough to still be on it for God's sake don't do it at the moment because it's going to be the money shot of the century in Australian media and everyone will be out to get it," Maguire [sic] said. (Yahoo!7, 24/3/2007)

Just in case you need a little help reading between the (ahem) "lines", I'll help unpack McGuire's comment for you. Under the old regime keeping drug use away from the club president and the coach was, apparently, less of a concern. It is "now absolutely out of bounds" to take recreational drugs - opening up the possibility that things were a little different earlier. And if you are going to be "silly" and take drugs in the future, just ease up for the time being.

With coded messages like that coming from the top, you, the AFL's drug dealers, have little to worry about in getting through these testing times.

*** UPDATE ***
It seems open letters are now de rigueur: former cocaine user and lawyer Andrew Fraser has popped up with one to the AFL's Andy Demetriou:

Dear Mr Demetriou,

I have two questions for you:

■ When is Ben Cousins to be stripped of his Brownlow Medal?

■ When are the West Coast Eagles to be stripped of their premiership?

I read with amazement that not only is Cousins suspended on full pay but the club is talking about subsidising his rehabilitation and asking the AFL to kick in as well. They cannot be serious. (The Sunday Age, 22/4/2007)

Readers will no doubt remember Andrew Fraser for his recollection of snorting coke with Brownlow Medallists and premiership players. I doubt the AFL CEO will find the message as reassuring and uplifting as the above letter to dealers.

*** UPDATE ***
Another in the AFL Open Letters on Drugs Series, this time from health and law academics praising the AFL for its "3 Strikes" policy. They make it clear that primacy must be given to the players' welfare at the expense of any other public interest.

This kind of black-and-white thinking shows why medical ethics is a poor grounding in questions of public policy - it's fine for individuals but just doesn't scale well to groups. (Imagine if this same blinkered view was applied to, say, drink-drivers?)

The absurdity of getting a heroin addiction expert from Turning Point to endorse strategies for millionaires who take ecstasy infrequently is precisely what deserves to be parodied.

Citations: Yahoo!7, 24/3/2007; The Sunday Age, 22/4/2007

Word Count: 1316

Tags: footy, underworld, drugs

Here We Go Again ... Scandal Deepens

The blood-letting and shock revelations continue as the AFL's worst PR crisis shows no sign of abating. As more evidence of atrocious behaviour, cover-ups, hypocrisy and manipulation come to light there is a growing sense that the public is fed up and that the AFL must act to clean up the game. Here, we cover the latest allegations and evidence in the drugs scandal in what's been a huge week for footy.

After Ben Cousins was dumped by the West Coast Eagles, his dad Bryan Cousins admitted Ben has a serious drug problem. Cousins has been linked with cocaine and crystal methamphetamine ('ice'). However, current reports suggest that he is still in denial about the extent of his addiction that is allegedly costing him around $3000 per week. (This huge sum - over $150K a year - is still less than a fifth of his massive salary.)

Meanwhile, it seems our earlier praise for AFL CEO Andrew Demetriou's response to this issue may have been hasty. Former AFL investigator Rick Lewis alleges that he alerted the then operations manager to rumours and allegations around drug use at the Eagles in 2002, only to have all inquiries shut down. Demetriou - now earning a million bucks a year - flatly denies this. Covert police recordings then emerged on ABC's Lateline where West Coast's Daniel "Special K" Kerr is heard discussing drugs with convicted dealer Shane Waters. Also caught on tape was the Kangaroo's Aaron Edwards and basketballer James Harvey.

Certainly, allegations made by an anonymous ex-girlfriend of Kerr make sense now - his frequent disorientation and confused state was not due solely to his brain being damaged by the standard of conversation amongst his peers, but the debilitating effects of ketamine (a horse tranquiliser). While not caught on tape himself, Cousins was mentioned. It's unlikely any ketamine sourced by the players was used for amateur veterinary purposes.

The bad press kept right on rolling through the weekend. The Sunday Age has continued its expose into the murky underbelly of AFL's brightest stars with another piece by award-winning investigative journalist Andrew Rule. (Rule's heroic earlier piece broke the current media storm, strangely ignored by rival Herald-Sun.) This week's explosive article is mandatory reading and contains more startling allegations:

• An unnamed former AFL player with a massive media profile has long been linked to cocaine use (his identity is an open secret, but will not be revealed here). He is part of a wider police investigation and will likely soon be charged or forced to give evidence.
  
• He is part of a 'rat-pack' of big shots from the AFL, media and entertainment world who order thousands of dollars a week in coke from a well-known "dealer to the stars".
  
• There is a hedonistic 'love boat' in operation:

  The multimillion-dollar pleasure craft is used for weekend cruises on the bay to which selected "guests" pay up to $5000 for unlimited cocaine and sex with escorts. Current and former AFL players and media "players" are believed to be among those who have used the boat.

• With mud flying everywhere, the players' managers are starting to panic:

  The manager of one West Coast player was so concerned at rumours that he took the unusual step of contacting the The Sunday Age to say that if any story were published about his client without "stat decs [statutory declarations], video evidence and an affidavit from his mother" then he would sue for damages.

• West Coast coach John Worsfold concedes that up to eight of his current players have admitted to drug use.
• Collingwood president Eddie McGuire went on 3AW to send a dangerous mixed-message to players, urging them to take a break from recreational drugs until the heat blows over:
  

  "Don't be caught this weekend or any weekend going forward and if you're silly enough to still be on it for God's sake don't do it at the moment ..."

• Convicted former lawyer Andrew Fraser (who spent five years in jail for his own cocaine habit) admits to snorting coke with AFL super-stars and asks (not unreasonably) "why are they a protected species?".
  
• An amusing anecdote - with disturbing undertones - came to light in Spy about The AFL Footy Show:

  With the vexed question of footballers and drugs looming large, two of the top-rating show's stars almost came to blows, with one distinctly unimpressed by a jokey suggestion made during the show that the program's participants could submit to live drug tests on camera. "Never set me up like that again or I'll knock you out," was the not-so-friendly warning.

  Yikes! I wonder if the celebrity in question still had wobbly legs from an erotic nautical adventure?

We can be confident of more dirt and disgrace emerging in the coming weeks. While the current controversy is centred on the West Coast Eagles, it will no doubt spill over into other clubs. The sheer weight of evidence will simply make untenable the past strategy of the clubs and AFL leadership : "plausible deniability" is dead.

Taking a cue from the Howard Government's AWB playbook, this strategy entails sticking to the line "we only heard rumours, nothing concrete" ... while ensuring that nothing concrete could ever turn up by closing down investigations (if police officer Rick Lewis is to be believed, at least) and fighting tooth-and-nail to keep drug use under wraps.

This is not going to wash with the public anymore. Right now, even many apologists and excuse-makers are shocked at this widespread, persistent behaviour from their idolised heroes. But slowly, people will realise all this debauchery is being paid for by their club memberships, pay-TV subscriptions and match tickets. Once this realisation kicks in and cashflow threatened, the AFL executive will be forced to re-examine its deliberately lenient drugs policy and the efficacy of its testing regime. Allegations of masking agents, manuals for avoiding detection, "test-free days" etc will all be looked at.

It will be painful as the public withdraws from its rose-coloured glasses and ugly reality seeps in, but we can all look forwards to a cleaner, safer game.

*** UPDATE ***
More startling allegations of drug abuse by an embittered ex-girlfriend - this time involving Big Cheese Sam Newman. Newman is a boat-owning media "personality" and hardy perennial who trades on his reputation as a bon vivant. He's also the alleged victim of a $100K fraud by an ex, Louisa Glenda Larkin:

[Her lawyer, Paul Holdenson, QC,] said that during her personal relationship with Newman she was introduced to the use of cocaine and ecstasy and later suffered a psychotic episode from her drug use.

Jeffrey Cummins, a forensic psychologist who has been treating Larkin, told the court that Larkin told him she had used drugs sporadically before she met Newman in 1999.

"As a result of being in that relationship she was exposed to excessive drug use ... she became addicted to cocaine," he said. (The Age, 8/11/2007)

Not a good look. But, that's how the other half lives, I guess.

Word Count: 1085

Tags: footy, underworld, drugs, sleaze

Eagles Kissing Cousins Good Bye

The West Coast Eagles has parted ways with troubled young star Ben Cousins indefinitely after the notorious party kid failed to attend training yesterday. He was also drug tested after further evidence of his lifestyle came to light on the weekend. His suspension for breaching team rules means he will not be able to play or train with the Eagles or their WAFL club East Fremantle. His club has indicated it is unlikely he'll be able to return for some time as he sorts out personal issues in his life.

In the end, the shock announcement this afternoon (Tuesday, 20th of March) was hardly a shock at all: after the build up of public incidents, bad press and disturbing stories, it was clearly just a matter of time before the Cousins' issues would come to a head. After all, it was just last year that his sidekick and co-conspirator Michael Gardiner threw away his career in spectacular fashion. It seems fitting and appropriate that Ben Cousins - whose flame always shone that bit brighter - would be able to hang on for an extra half season. Certainly Gardiner gave the sincere impression of genuinely not giving a shit about himself or his team, whereas with young Benny Boy it was more a case of "see what I can get away with".

Chief Apologist at the WCE, Dalton Gooding, finally got sick of the excuses and announced the axe had fallen. In the context of the string of public disgraces noted by The Age against Cousins, it seemed inevitable:

• Brawling with Daniel Kerr, sustaining a broken arm (2002).
• Socialising - or worse? - with gangsters involved in drugs and shootings (2005).
• Inexplicably running away from a Booze Bus (2006).
• Arrested over late-night collapse outside Crown Casino (2006).

In fact, new accounts had come to light over the weekend regarding that last incident. At the time, the club was keen to spin this as public drunkenness. However, a follow-up story by investigative journalist Andrew Rule has thrown another light on the incident with a damning eye witness report:

It happened a little after 2 am on Saturday December 2, when the good Samaritan stopped at a traffic light near the casino and saw a young man standing in the street, "shivering".

"I asked him if he was all right and he walked towards the car and I realised it was Ben Cousins," he told The Sunday Age yesterday.

Cousins is renowned for being able to run all day — and a long way at night to avoid a booze bus — but this time the iron man of the midfield could hardly move.

Cousins was so "out of it", the social soccer player — and Rules fan — later told friends, that he offered him a lift to get him off the street for fear he would be run over. Cousins waved a $50 note and mumbled that he wanted to go "back to" Eve nightclub, a few hundred metres away, and threw himself into the back seat of the car.

The 30-year-old driver, who does not want to be identified, says he was shocked and concerned at Cousins' distressed condition. "He was sweating and paranoid. He had his hands over his face and was looking around as if he was frightened someone was chasing him. He said someone had hit him — he pulled up his shirt and showed me his stomach. He was jumping all over the back seat. I think I can tell the difference between being drunk and drugs and I'd say he was tripping out bad — his brain was fried on some hard-core stuff, I'd say."

Cousins was aware of his condition and concerned about being recognised, the driver said. "I had a girl with me who didn't recognise him until I said his name and then he said, 'No, no. It's not me!' He stayed in the car about five minutes, talking. I really gave it to him. I said, 'What are you doing, ruining your career, mate?' And he said, 'No drugs, no drugs, I don't want that.' "

The driver took him to the nightclub from where, Cousins had claimed, he had been "chased" earlier. "I don't know if someone really chased him or not," he said. When the driver politely refused his offer of payment, Cousins thrust a $10 note at him, got out and walked unsteadily towards the casino.

That was the last the driver saw of him until a photograph of his famous passenger appeared in the newspapers two days later. Someone had caught Cousins "asleep" on the ground near the casino before the police came and locked him up for four hours. (The Age, 18/3/2007)

The exact sequence of events is unclear at this stage: did this story break, then the drugs test was ordered, then the failure to attend training, and then the announcement of suspension? Or did the story directly trigger the suspension, and the announcement and dropping from training happened as a result? These questions get to the heart about how the club has "managed" Cousins' dangerous game.

This whole ordeal is very sordid. Cousins thought he could have it all. His club tried to protect him for a long time. Then it all unraveled. The only positive to come out of it is that good Samaritan who tried to help out a sporting celebrity in his addled state and then sat on the story for three months.

What a shame the only time Cousins gets frank feedback on his life is when he's out of his gourd. Perhaps if he'd got those messages while be able to grasp and remember them, his career might have ended differently.

*** Update ***

After being booted from the team, elements of the media reported that Cousins went on a bender ("partying spree") for several days. More reports circulated that he was in denial about his drug addiction, apparently to crystal meth. These reports of Ben's denial were denied by his father Bryan, opening the possibility that the entire Cousins clan is in denial. Or not. It's hard to make sense from this even without being left drug-addled by a raging ice addiction.

What is certain is that Ben Cousins is now in rehab in Malibu and Eddie McGuire is still giving commentary and advice for reasons best known to himself.

The AFL offered to pay for Cousins to go on a charter flight, presumably so he could withdraw in private. (Sure, with $800K a year you might think he could make his own way to rehabilitation, but then you wouldn't know much about how footy works.) In the end, he went economy class on a commercial flight - upgraded to business class, of course. Can't have a man of his standing mixing with the riff-raff.

While no-one can say for sure what will happen, here's hoping Cousins gets well, apologises and lobbies to reform the AFL drugs policy.

*** UPDATE ***
Ben Cousins is back from rehab in the US and has spoken to the public. His carefully-scripted set piece was read from an auto-cue and goes for about one minute. Here's a partial transcript; click the link for the full transcript of his "apology":

As you are aware I have been at an overseas rehabilitation centre for the past month undergoing treatment for a number of personal issues, including illness as the result of substance use.

...

I would like everyone, if they can, to respect my privacy whilst I continue treatment and meet the significant challenges that lie ahead. (AFL, 4/5/7)

His apology is a little light on details, but then, he has to ensure that he doesn't cause too much scrutiny of his behaviour, or that of his club - or indeed the entire failed AFL drugs policy.

Citations: The Age, 18/3/2007; AFL, 4/5/7

Word Count: 1350

Tags: footy, underworld, drugs

Sordid AFL Drug Culture Exposed

An incendiary article in The Sunday Age by investigative journalist Andrew Rule has blown the doors of the hypocrisy and cover-ups surrounding the AFL's illicit drug culture. In the ensuing mad scramble for positioning, more details have leaked out and the ability of clubs and the league itself to deal with this issue looks very shaky.

You can imagine the scene: thousands of mouth-breathing footy fans across Melbourne settle in one Sunday morning to read our premier tabloid, slowly sound out each words. Expecting to catch up on the latest important news about groin injuries and club gossip, instead they are confronted with this horrible headline: Drug abuse, shady dealings rampant among football's finest. Then they skip to the last line of the article: "You haven't lived until you've had a beauty queen snort coke off your dick".

"Ah", they eventually surmise, "this is why we've had to buy Foxtel, endure emotional blackmail about club memberships and choose between getting our kids into private school or the MCG ... so our beloved faultless footballers can snort, pop, drop, smoke and hit up with impunity." After some furrowing of the brow, the verdict came back from the heartland: "We are not well impressed."

If you haven't already read the article - and if you're reading this blog I can't see how you could not - then I strongly recommend checking it out. Andrew Rule has put together a solid piece of research highlighting how the drugs issue ties in with underworld links, off-field violence and other criminality. Importantly, he also shows up the impotence - even reluctance - of clubs to deal with this while their players are kicking goals on the field.

Many of the issues raised by Andrew Rule have been covered here before. The "news story" concerned allegations about a player "flatlining" (ie overdosing) in Las Vegas on a private trip late last year. This was an open secret in footy circles, and the player was later revealed to be Chad Fletcher from (where else?) the West Coast Eagles. His manager, Colin Young, maintains that his three days in hospital were a result of alcohol and a yellow fever vaccination. Given Young's bluster about lawyers and suits right now, I'll leave it up to the big newspapers to take that one on.

Other tidbits covered included:

• Steve Johnson - assault in Wangaratta.


• Brendan Fevola - assault in Ireland.


• Daniel Kerr - multiple assaults in Perth. He asked one (now former) girlfriend to pick him up at a party. His blackouts are so bad he allegedly said "Who are you? Are you my lift?". Scary stuff.


• "The Cocaine Kid" - Should be obvious who, but no names please! Quote: "Girls I know used to go around to his house and he would be snorting coke off the coffee table".


• West Coast Eagles - One cocaine-using player told [a club official] more than half the team were "into it". Worse, at least two club stars were "into the super, whizzbang stuff" so heavily that their supplier gives them other drugs to mask the effects of post-game binges. Oh dear. How effective is the masking agent? How reliable really are these drug tests?


• Laurence Angwin and Karl Norman - busted for turning up to training while still pinging from ecstasy. "There would have been eight blokes (Carlton players) there that day who wouldn't have passed a test. Five out of the nine in the leadership group couldn't make eye contact with us when they called us in because they'd been out with us," [Angwin] said.


• Unnamed Crows Star - "[A respected former coach] tells the story of a Crows star (with reputed shady connections) taking a fishing tackle box on a team trip. Inside were not hooks and sinkers, just dozens of brightly coloured pills. Drugs."

The reaction from the football establishment has been predictable. As mentioned, there's been denial. There's also been tut-tut noises from the coaches and club officials. The only person who's giving a credible performance on this issue is Andrew Demetriou:

"We don't necessarily respond to innuendo and inference," he said.

"If anyone's got any information that relates to an incident in Las Vegas or wherever, they should come forward and they should name names and they should tell us what they know.

"If we think it's of a serious nature we'll act upon it." (FoxSports, 14/3/2007)

I hope this isn't just spin and that Andy is genuinely keen to take - and act on - such tips. Please, feel free to publish your sordid "I did coke with a footballer" stories here. However, names and other legally actionable details will be removed. If you're prepared to tip off the league then get in touch with them directly. I've checked, and there's no hotline as such, but you can go through reception (03) 9643 1999. For email, there is Adrian Anderson's personal assistant - I won't publish her details here due to spam. But you can get in touch with me via email and I will pass them on.

That there's intense, widespread and chronic drug abuse in the ranks of the AFL is not disputed. The Speccy has previously cast doubt on the reliability of testing with just 24 positives out of 500 test! Now there's talk by players of "masking agents", providing one possible explanation for the absurdly low positive rates. We'll wait to see what the latest results have in store.

If the AFL is serious about cracking down on illicit drug abuse they would introduce tougher testing and reporting policies. No more "three strikes and you're outed" bullshit. Hopefully this latest burst of bad publicity will give Demetriou the ammo to stare down the AFL Players Association and implement a policy that will clean up the industry, not protect AFL drug-users who rip of their fans.

Citations: FoxSports, 14/3/2007

Word Count: 1031

Tags: footy, underworld, drugs, sleaze

Out-Of-Control Footballer Hits Skids

Perennial pest Michael Gardiner (of the troubled West Coast Eagles) has finally done what we've all been waiting for and thrown away his footy career. Again. This time, it was a breathlessly stupid and destructive car accident that - miraculously - avoided injury.

Michael Gardiner has long been featured on The Speccy, with his involvement with known underworld figures and drug-dealers, or bringing his club into disrepute with mysterious references to "off-field behaviour". While he's only mustered 18 games in the past three seasons, the Weagles are now seriously reviewing their half million dollar spend on him.

Reality Sets in for Michael Gardiner, Facing The Dole Queue Next Year
Source: The Age

But first, the gory details of what happened. As usual, The Age had the skinny:

West Coast AFL ruckman Michael Gardiner may have been speeding when his car struck a street sign and careered into two parked cars in Perth overnight, police say.

Gardiner was taken to hospital with minor injuries after the crash in the beach-side suburb of Scarborough shortly after 11:30pm (WST) on Monday.

Gardiner's black Holden Commodore and one of the parked cars, a Holden Statesman, were extensively damaged and may have been written-off, police say.

The other vehicle was also damaged substantially.

"Speed may have been a factor in the crash because of the damage to all of the vehicles," a police spokeswoman told AAP.

"That is forming part of the investigation.

"He is very lucky he wasn't more seriously injured." (The Age, 18/7/2006)

Now, it's not immediately obvious to me whether the police officer quoted here talking about "speed" is referring to velocity or methamphetamines. It's plausible that either physics or chemistry was involved in this one. The Age also reports that drug sniffer dogs were going over the car, and a Cicatrin bottle (an antiobiotic) was found. I imagine they'll be looking at the contents closely. Gardiner admitted to blowing over 0.05 BAC too, but at this point it's unclear if drug samples were taken.

You can see a nice slideshow of the damaged suburbia wrought by Gardiner's de trop black SS Commodore (what else would a cashed-up bogan drive?).

The reaction from his club was swift - a paltry $5000 fine (the maximum under the union agreement) and immediate - though not permanent - suspension:

[Eagles Chief Executive Terry] Nisbett said it was highly unlikely the club would renew his contract at the end of the year.

"Mike's let a lot of people down, more importantly himself because he was on track and things were going well for him," he said. (ABC Sport, 19/7/2006)

Other AFL clubs were also backing away, underlining Gardiner's prospects of signing on to the dole next year:

Yesterday, an overwhelming majority of AFL clubs suggested the 2003 All-Australian was unlikely to appear in their colours next season.

No club expressed even mild interest in the ruckman and what might be required to trade for his services. Most expressed reservations about his physical ability, apart from the off-field issues that have sabotaged what should have been a stellar career. (The Age, 18/7/2006)

However, we've seen this before. This is the Terry Nesbit who sent Gardiner packing to the B-Leagues earlier this year, only to let him back after a couple of months. Already club officials are preparing the ground for Gardiner's eventual reinstatement:

[Club Chairman Dalton] Gooding told 6PR's Liam Bartlett that the football club was unable to sack Gardiner, who had admitted drinking alcohol before crashing his car into two parked vehicles near his home in Scarborough on Monday night.

Mr Gooding said that under a collective bargaining agreement with the AFL Players' Association, Gardiner's contract could not be terminated.

...

"As a footballer, his career is not over,'' Mr Gooding said. "Whether he remains at the West Coast Eagles after the end of this season is remote, but certainly the door has not been firmly shut.

...

"But obviously we'd need a considerable improvement in Michael's attitude, which is disappointing in view of the fact that when he got sent back to Claremont (for two months earlier this season) he'd done everything right. (Perth Now, 19/7/2006)

So, I guess it's the standard modus operandi: they'll ride out the current storm and put him back in the side in about, oh, I dunno, a month? Let him get a few matches in during the finals and come back next year.

Really, the club needs to put their foot down and take a stand on this. If they don't, they're sending a signal that says "hey - being good at footy can make up for any number of sins." This will encourage worse and worse behaviour by the players, which - as role models - engenders deteriorating standards throughout society. We should not have to put up with feckless morons jeopardising our collective well-being so that a footy club can kick a few more goals.

West Coast Eagles, we urge you to be strong and keep this dickhead out of your team. For good.

*** UPDATE ***
Turns out Gardiner's been charged with drink-driving and will front up to the beak in Perth. Still, it's unlikely Gardiner will be out for good ... suitably cynical analysis from Murdoch's man Patrick Smith about how West Coast's ranking will over-ride all other considerations.

Is Michael Gardiner Depressed?

It's a little known fact that senior officials in AFL clubs are automatically conferred with medical qualifications, in recognition of their extraordinary capacities and responsibilities. For example, thanks to the miracle of modern medicine, the West Coast Eagles were able to diagnose Gardiner via press release:

Of greatest concern is Michael's depressed mental state and the club intends to further assist him to ensure that he gets the appropriate counselling and off-field direction required to get his life in order. (Footy Goss, 18/7/2006)

This was backed up by club CEO Trevor Nisbett ("I think it is [depression] ..."), who will be guest starring in an upcoming episode of TV's House, MD, alongside Hugh Lawrie. We're all looking forward to that. Chairman Dalton Gooding had a bob each way with "Well, something is not right . Whether it's depression or a lack of discipline, or what." Wise man. Best to not rush to any conclusions.

And what of the man himself? Gardiner is quoted as saying "I'm not depressed. I wasn't depressed last night, I'm not depressed now and I'm staggered the club is going down that path." Sadly, refusal to face up to depression is a well-known, classic sign of depression. It's also a highly-reliable indicator of not being depressed. This dilemma has confounded some of the best medical brains in the business - but not Nisbett. The clarity that can only come from not being a trained psychiatrist is his diagnostic strength. Good on ya, Trev.

But Gardiner - depressed or otherwise - does raise a pertinent point. Why would the club be going down that path? What kind of new development or find could they be preparing the public for with such claims?

Apropos of nothing at all, did you know that some people into "party drugs" take (legal) anti-depressants at the same time? It's an interesting little fact. You see, drugs like methamphetamines and ecstasy work by stimulating the release of a neurotransmitter (="natural brain chemical") called serotonin. This is what gives you the high. However, the body quickly re-absorbs it, meaning your pill will wear off after about four hours.

Many anti-depressants are from a class called SSRIs (="Selective Serotonin Re-uptake Inhibitors"). This class of drugs will - as you can guess from the name - stop your body from absorbing that serotonin that your pill just released. That means you have a bigger, longer-lasting high. Neat, hey? But of course, it's very dangerous and only for hard-core, drug-addled, extreme risk-takers.

Something to ponder, no?

Citations: The Age, 18/7/2006; ABC Sport, 19/7/2006; The Age, 18/7/2006; Perth Now, 19/7/2006; Footy Goss, 18/7/2006

Word Count: 1355

Tags: footy, court, underworld, drugs, traffic

Profile: Wayne Carey

Wayne Carey was a supremely-talented footballer who's off-field behaviour and character flaws saw him brought down like a modern, shabby Shakespearean tragedy. In this next instalment in the Speccy Profile series, we examine the life and times of Wayne Carey as more evidence for our case that being good at footy does not make you a good human being.

No one would deny that Wayne Carey in his heyday was like the Mike Tyson of Aussie Rules football: fast, strong, aggressive and blighted with a curiously high-pitched voice. He was born in Wagga Wagga in 1971 and began his footy career in South Australia before being picked up by North Melbourne. (Although hailing from NSW, Wayne was allowed to represent South Australia in the State of Origin on the grounds that, as King of the Westies, Adelaide was his spiritual home.) His family background suggests a genetic talent for football - despite one leg being longer than the other - and being a prick, with his nephew Kade Carey attracting all the wrong sort of attention.

Wayne played for the Kangaroos for most of career and despite being quite dim managed to rise to the rank of captain and secure a number of honours including club Best and Fairest and captaincy of the All-Australian team. (This hardly reflects well on the honours, does it?) His arrogance and abrasiveness meant that field umpires withheld crucial votes, ensuring he never won the game's highest honour, the Brownlow Medal.

Gormless Rooboy Caught in the Headlights
Source: Girl.com.au

Off-field, he was involved in the usual pub brawling and fighting associated with footballers. He also seemed strangely well-connected to Melbourne's underworld, giving character evidence at the trial of one high-profile (later slain) hitman, drug dealer and gangster (Melbourne Crime's dossier on Wayne makes for interesting reading.)

But it was with the ladies that Wayne Carey had the most problems. The first incident that saw him cop a high-profile guilty plea was back in 1996:

The assault occurred when Carey and a group of friends were walking down King Street after a night out [at 9am]. They approached the woman, who was with a female friend. Carey grabbed her breast and said, "Why don't you get a bigger set of tits?".

Carey's two footballer friends argued: "That sort of thing happens a hundred times a night in a night club. I'm not saying I condone it but ... I've seen how blokes act with women." The article later stated that the general view amongst Carey's colleagues was that he had been victimised by the media because he is a high profile football star.(Green Left Weekly, 19/2/1996)

Thanks to that special brand of justice reserved by Melbourne's magistrates for star footballers, he managed to avoid a sentence, or even a conviction! We can't help but wonder if this signal - that he can sexually assault women in broad daylight and get away with it - might not have contributed to what was to follow.

In March 2002, it became apparent to his club that Wayne was carrying on an affair with Kelli Stevens, the wife of his team-mate Anthony Stevens. Lurid rumours circulated that the pair were caught having sex in the toilets (a "dunny shag" in the vernacular) at a mutual friend's birthday party. Wayne was keen to set the record straight:

"No, there was definitely no sex in the toilet. The situation was in front of 120 people. I went to the toilet and, in front of all those people, Kelli walked in after me in front of her husband, in front of everyone there. Anthony waited for her to come out, which was a few seconds later, and the night was ended." (The Sydney Morning Herald, 28/12/2002)

At this point, the Roo Boys staged what amounted to a mutiny: either Carey (club captain) was out, or the team wouldn't take to the field. Management relented, and just like that, Wayne's career was over. He went from earning a reported $1.5 million dollars a year to being "on suicide watch" (as his manager, Ricky Nixon, famously stated) home at Wagga Wagga. The saga played out in the nations tabloids for months. Wayne, his wife Sally, Anthony and Kelli Stevens all helped boost circulation figures for various women's magazines with their contributions.

After this, Wayne tried (unsuccessfully) to re-launch his career in North America as a punter in the NFL. He mooched around for the rest of the year and signed up with the Adelaide Crows. Things didn't work out, and he only played 27 games for his new club. No doubt his new-found team-mates weren't thrilled at the prospect of having such a man in their midst. They came up with some sort of line about injuries and bundled him out of the game for good. The sad sack that he is, Wayne pathetically did free "volunteer" work at various clubs, fetching towels and the like, just to be near the action. Now his girly voice graces a little-watched football show on pay TV, providing monosyllabic sound bites (known as "special comments" in the trade).

It's difficult to convey the impact of the Carey-Stevens affair on the Melbourne psyche. It was the story of the year. As one talkback caller put it: "September 11th last year ... and now this." It was simply that big a deal. (Not sleeping around, mind you; but doing so with a team-mate's wife.) Wayne became "The Slogger from Wagga" (because of his predilicition for slogging it to other people's wives). He is still the butt of many jokes and remains a favourite target of cartoonists. Which is probably why many were not surprised at one comes next.

Almost unbelievably, Sally Carey put aside the shame, humiliation and advice from everyone and agreed to take the philandering Wayne back. What's more, they started a family. However, Wayne's true colours shone through when rumours of more infidelity were confirmed. Wayne admitted that his marriage was over while his wife was heavily-pregnant with their first child:

Carey confirmed the split in a statement yesterday as reports continued to surface about his friendship with model Kate Neilson, 24.
...
She and Carey live only minutes apart in Port Melbourne and have been seen visiting each other's homes. Carey went public on his marriage split yesterday after his father-in-law warned him to stay away.
...
A smiling Carey, 34, shrugged off the turmoil as he arrived in Darwin yesterday. The former Roos champion laughed off a warning by his father-in-law Terry McMahon that he would be "going out in a box" if he visited Mr McMahon's Wagga Wagga home where Sally was staying.

"It's all funny," Carey said. "Don't worry about it." (Herald-Sun, 24/6/2006)

Kate Neilson (pictured below) is what's known as a "Grid Girl". This means her job is to promote motorsports by appealing sexually to bogans. So good is she at making bogans aroused that she won a national competition - and attention from Wayne "The Bogan King" Carey.


Bogan-Bait
Source: Herald-Sun

What sort of a man gropes a woman in broad daylight and insults her for not pleasing him visually? What sort of a man shags his team-mate's wife? What sort of a man hangs out with killers and drug-dealers? What sort of a man cheats on his heavily-pregnant wife with bleached-blonde bogan-bait?

One of the greatest Aussie Rules Footballers ever, that's who. A washed up, hollow, balding failure of a human being at 34. A man remembered for the staggering price he paid for believing that he could do whatever he want. Truly, Wayne Carey is the quintessential footballer.

*** UPDATE ***
BREAKING NEWS: Reports are coming in that last night (Sunday) Wayne Carey was "maced" by police after they were called to a domestic disturbance at his Port Melbourne apartment. Details are sketchy, but The Age quotes a neighbour "It was Wayne all right. Look, I'm not gonna give too much away, but Wayne was in handcuffs and had been maced." The Hun reports that "Police took him to St Kilda police station about 8.30pm."

It appears at this stage that Carey called police to remove his girlfriend, Kate Neilson (pictured working as "grid girl" above). Police stated that a second woman was present, but no details yet to the sequence of arrivals to Carey's place.

It's too early to judge at this stage, since we don't yet know the ins and outs of it all. Recent events show that being capsicum sprayed by Victorian police does not necessarily mean one is extremely violent. Even accounting for "his rather magnanimously (sic) huge size", in the (somewhat unfortunate) words of Senior Constable Wilson.

We'll keep you posted as the story develops.

*** UPDATE ***
As promised, the gory details of Wayne Carey's Port Melbourne incident (including security footage), shock revelations of last year's Miami incident and breaking news of drug allegations at Carey's celebrity party are all covered in the write-up.

References

Wikipedia article on Wayne Carey's career.

Melbourne Crime - Dossier on Wayne Carey
"Kangaroo Caught" (Bulletin, 20/3/2002)

"The Media and Women's Rights" (Green Left Weekly, 19/2/1996)

"The Carey Affair" (Sydney Morning Herald, 28/12/2002)

Wayne Carey Jokes

Wayne Carey Cartoons

"Wayne Carey: It's Over With Wife Sally" (Herald-Sun, 24/2/2006)

"Wayne Carey Retires" (7.30 Report, 24/6/2004)

"Young Talent In The Ranks" (AFL Player Spectator, 25/01/2005)

"Footy Thugs Cop Soft Sentence" (AFL Player Spectator, 13/2/2006)

Word Count: 1424

Tags: footy, spoilt_rotten, scandals, underworld, sleaze