Carey and Neilson Have No Idea

Just because it's been more than a month without a Wayne Carey post doesn't mean he's been keeping quiet. No sir, quite the contrary. All manner of sad, bizarre and disappointing news has been generated by the abusive Wayne and his on-again off-again girlfriend, Kate Neilson. Here's a round-up of the last month or so of sordid activities since we last covered his violent, drug-fuelled exploits back in January.

Details came to light of yet another US-based row, this time in an exclusive New York hotel (the W Hotel) in October 2006. In this case, the security guard, Kyle Banks, reported that he saw Wayne Carey smash a bottle of champagne over his own head. He allegedly went on to repeatedly hit Kate Neilson before attack the security guard and collapsing.

Also in late 2006, it emerged that the pair were on safari in South Africa when, yep, you guessed it, another violent blue. Neilson became so upset and/or fearful that she left the safety of the limo and ran into the jungle. Although lions, leopards, hyenas etc were spotted in the area, she apparently decided they were a better option than a deranged Carey. How bizarre, how sad.

Sure, he looks harmless enough now, but with a bottle he's incredibly dangerous.
Source: Herald-Sun.

This comes on top of allegations of an earlier incident in October 2004 at a Las Vegas casino, where Wayne Carey was placed under citizen's arrest for assaulting a guard at the Mandalay Bay Hotel. (If the man who physically put Carey down and placed him under citizen's arrest comes forward, he will be eligible for both humanitarian and bravery awards.) Carey was taken into custody by police overnight and charged, although nothing came of it.

Cashing in on their new-found notoriety, Wayne Carey and Kate Neilson did a cover-story for New Idea magazine. Scraping a new bottom for disgusting cheque-book journalism, the outlet has given them a PR free-kick for a reported $180,000. While revelations of the pairs' ongoing drug-use (cocaine) are hardly startling, what is sickening is the gloss liberally applied over Carey's violence. Crikey characterised it as "$180,000 to tell the world that his girlfriend accidently "fell into" the glass of wine that he was in the process of throwing over her and that he did not "realise" that the glass had cut her face". Neilson added "Wayne isn't violent - not at all...That's not to say our relationship hasn't been volatile, but that's (only) at times." She also said that they were "as silly as each other". Volatile? Silly? What next - it takes two to tango? Oh dear. Those excuses sounds a lot like domestic violence at work to me. How appalling that this spin was put out in a publication that recently launched its own anti-domestic violence campaign.


New low in cheque-book journalism.
Source: Crikey.

It's looking likely that Wayne Carey won't be charged for his role in the Port Melbourne siege incident that saw him capsicum-sprayed and led off in hand-cuffs. The Herald-Sun is reporting that senior police believe it won't proceed. The Age is still being a bit more cagey, but we'll see. There's still the matter of the Florida glassing incident to resolve. (Not the attack itself - Neilson dropped the charges - but Carey's alleged assault on Miami's finest. He's pleading not guilty.)

Wayne Carey is rumoured to be making an appearance on Andrew Denton's Enough Rope on the ABC. The ABC does not pay for interview subjects, so Carey's motivation is presumably more about re-building his brand than direct cash. It's likely the episode will air on March 31st - stay tuned for detailed analysis here.

Speaking of the Carey brand, there's been more discussion about his diminishing chances of getting into the AFL Hall of Fame due to his appalling off-field record. He's even been compared unfavourably to Gary Ablett, who's bad record at least started after he retired. Carey's been of bad character since the Year Dot.

Adding to the intense scrutiny and sense of intrigue this past month, Kate Neilson was listed to appear in court over some outstanding fines. Somehow or other, this was "fixed up" and she was taken off the list. Corrections Victoria won't discuss details of what's going on with this little side story. Interesting.


Mysterious court appearance cancelled.
Source: Herald-Sun.

Here at The Speccy, we doubt this is over. Not by a long shot. We'll be keeping a weather eye on the hijinx, rumours and allegations as they unfurl. Stay tuned for more.

*** UPDATE ***
NEW!! We've prepared a timeline of events and an interactive map of Wayne Carey's incidents from across the globe. Now you can track and analyse his violent and bizarre behaviour, perhaps even protecting loved ones overseas by predicting where he'll strike next.

Tip: Our preliminary public safety analysis suggests you should not holiday in 5-star hotels in the US during October. Wayne Carey has faced assault allegations on no less than three occasions.


View Larger Map

Naturally, we'll be updating this map as more violent and other incidents come to light. Stay safe!

*** UPDATE ***

In a Miami court, Wayne Carey has admitted to elbowing a policeman in the face and kicking another in the mouth. His punishment? A $US500 fine, 50 hours of community service and some anger management and counselling. Here in Melbourne, the idea of a rich, violent, drunken, drug-addled and misogynistic footballer getting off lightly for his crimes is depressingly familiar. For the Miami police, the reality of justice, AFL player-style, comes as a shock:

"It is very demoralising for the men and women who risk their lives on a daily basis to know there is not a system that backs them up," said Sergeant John Rivera, president of the Dade County Police Benevolent Association. (The Age, 17/10/2008)

Yes, indeed. Welcome to our world.

Word Count: 786

Tags: footy, bashing, court, drugs

Cousins Returns To Form

In a brilliant return to form, Australia's greatest human being Ben Cousins has astounded his fans and devastated his critics by going from strength to strength without even breaking his stride. This glittering prize of a man is unstoppable and should, by all rights, be revered as a god. Thankfully, that process is already in train.

We pick up the story after he mysteriously absented himself on his life-saving trip to LA for celebrity-style resort rehab. One of the two blonde ladies in the sports car who picked him up at the airport (Susie Ela, member of Ben's "LA newtork") made a 5am emergency call to 911 on behalf of Cousins. She confirmed he had been on a cocaine bender for the past five days and was "not acting right". He had fried his brain with coke and was, reportedly, in bad shape mentally when he was whisked away to hospital via ambulance.

Whereas a mere mortal might have doubts at putting their own Dad in the invidious position of telling porkies to the media, Cousins just bounced right back. Right back into a $1500 suit that he picked up at Bridge Rd, Richmond. How do we know? Because Ben's suit purchase was front page news in Melbourne. He was mobbed by adoring fans in the street, mobiles held aloft like talismans, eager for a bit of that celebrity power to wash over them and validate their own dubious shopping choices. (How long until we get the inevitable poorly-pixelated image of Cousins getting out of his car while "going commando"?)

Ben Cousins Turns Bridge Road into Rodeo Drive
Source: The Age

Oh, there was the minor matter of the AFL Commission meeting, where he was suspended from the game for 12 months. Sort of. Something about bringing the game into disrepute? But, honestly, no biggie. He can continue to play for state-based second tier AFL-affiliated clubs, like East Fremantle, under a peculiar technicality. The Western Australian police were forced to drop their drug charges against him, on a technicality. (Apparently, the same officer who arrested him had to ask him to do the test, not another officer. Or something.) Hell, the cops even apologised! Brilliant.

Now, it looks like the US police are not going to pursue unwelcome criminal matters against Cousins either, despite his heroic cocaine binge. It was always going to be shaky if they would chase down a wealthy white man for taking cocaine in Los Angeles, even one who had "fallen afoul of the law". Luckily, Cousins is neither poor nor black. No word yet on an apology from the American detectives, but I doubt Benny's holding his breath.

So it's all going pretty well for Ben Cousins. Sure, his career's stalled a bit, there was that brief ambulance ride and some minor traffic matters have been cleared up. Apart from that, he's on top of the world. His plan is to sit out 2008 in a state league (probably in Victoria). There's also serious talk of a modelling career (a mere $150K per annum, but still, that'd almost cover his reported $3K/week drug habit). And why not? He's spawned a whole industry of "Such Is Life" T-shirts, featuring his distinctive bogan gut-tattoo. (And, perplexingly, a commemorative tawny port.)


Cousins inspiring the stencil art scene.
Source: NineMSN

Ben Cousin's popularity is going ahead in leaps and bounds. This is no more apparent than in cyberspace, where the yoof are rising up as one voice and saying "Bennnnnny .... you ROCK maaaaaate!!!!!!"

Facebook, for example, has many Ben Cousins groups, with names like "Ben Cousins for Prime Minister", "I Wanna Party With Ben Cousins" (17,000 members), "I Buy All My Drugs Off Ben Cousins" (3,000 members), "Who Gives a Toss if Ben Cousins is a Junkie - He's a Bloody Hottie!". And so on, for about 190 groups. To be fair, a very small number are taking the piss. And even fewer are openly hostile to him. But the vast bulk seems to be "Ben is fun and I want to be as near/like/inside him as I can."

And good ol' Ben has been putting his popularity with the youngsters to work. He's been sighted hanging out at the Gold Coast for the Schoolies Week. Sadly, he seems to be enjoying the company of the younger people there. An older man - 30 soon - hanging out with girls who have just finished high school is known as a "Toolie". According to this Victorian government website, schoolies need to be wary of toolies. In this case, sexual assault and violence are lower-order concerns. Check this video of Ben Cousins snorting, well, something off the table with his new friends:



What a swell guy. Rehab? Contrition? Remorse? Responsibility? Consequences? Bah. His talent has seen him rise to the top of the AFL footy. That same culture saw him sheltered, protected and never having to face up to reality. His club turned a blind eye to his antics. Medical rehab's been a useless washout. The legal system had a go but has bowed out with a bloody nose. The politicians that spoke up have been voted out. For how long can his family keep up their support? Egged on by celebrity attendees and his online cheer squad, Cousins is completely unshackled and unhinged.

Eventually, Ben's going to need real friends, not colleagues or minders or coke-buddies or people who shout "we love you Benny - whoooohooo!" out of passing cars. Let's hope he's got some left.

Word Count: 952

Tags: footy, spoilt_rotten,, drugs,, sleaze

A Guide To AFL Drug-Taking

With the draft upon us, we can expect to see a lot of fresh-faced youngsters hoping for their big break into the world of professional AFL footy. This world offers a lot of dangers as well as rewards. Right now, new recruits and their family worry about the impact of drugs on their careers. This article explains how to enjoy your drugs while minimising career risks with a handy online drug-use planner, for easy calculation.

The AFL - especially through the Players' Association - has gone to a lot of effort to keep those positive test results low and players' names stay out of the papers. Whether it's allowing a generous "three strikes", getting court injunctions (repeatedly), hounding blabber-mouths, whitewashing "mysterious" tip-offs or just ensuring that players are seldom tested, they'll leave no stone unturned protecting their precious players.

So it doesn't matter if you hang out with drug dealers or others with underworld connections. Many of the biggest names in the sport do. Just ask Michael Gardiner, Daniel Kerr, Alan Didak or Ben Cousins. It gives you street cred and cheap supplies and your employer will keep the heat off your back.

If you play AFL, then eventually - perhaps after several years - you will be asked to pee into the cup. You can always ask to be excused, on the grounds that you can't provide a sample. Sounds crazy, but hey - it's worked before! But failing that, there's a chance that you might provide a dirty sample. Uh oh. Not to worry - you've got two free kicks before there's serious ramifications. With a career expectancy of four years, you'll likely only be tested half a dozen times anyway.

As slight as it is, there's still a prospect of returning that dreaded positive result. The best way to manage this is to determine at the outset what level of risk you're comfortable with. What odds can you live with?

That's where the online drug planner comes in. Let's face it, if you've been recruited by the AFL you're not going to be a mathematical wizard. Hell, you likely stopped paying attention in Year Ten and relied on the PE staff to get you through senior school. So, if statistics and the like are all a bit hard, let The Speccy crunch the numbers and put it in terms a footballer will understand: gambling odds. (Yes, a lot of you young blokes like a flutter - and if you don't you will soon.)

It's simple. Think of it as career Russian roulette. Just select your preferred drug and how often you'd like to take it. Take a stab at your career length (be realistic: ten year stayers are very rare these days). Down at the bottom is the (decimal) odds of your drug use curtailing that career. It couldn't be easier!

AFL Drug Use Planner

Player Preferences
Type of Drug
Usage Frequency (days)
Career Length (years)
League Policies
Number of Tests (per annum)
Number of Players
Allowed Strikes (per player)
Parameters
Detection Time (days)
"Dirty" Time (proportion)
Annual Test Rate (per player)
Expected Uses (per career)
Expected Tests (per career)
Expected Strikes (per career)
Estimates
Probability of Detection (AFL)
Probability of Naming (public)
Odds of Naming (public)

For example, if you can only handle a 1% chance of being named and shamed, stick to taking your cocaine once a month. Take it weekly if you're comfortable with a one in four chance. Get it? Choose from cocaine, ice, speed, ecstasy, ketamine, Valium (for the come down), LSD (if you like "candy-flipping") and the other party favourites. Just dial up the frequency and away you go.

And thank your stars you're not playing in the NRL, where their two-strikes policy and higher test rates might put a real dampener on the party. Enjoy - and stay safe.

The Gory Details

The default figures are for the AFL's current policy of naming on the third strike and providing 1000 tests per year across 650 players. Until August, 2007 there were only 500 tests per year. By contrast the NRL has 1100 tests across 450 players, with just one strike allowed before public naming.

The model is based on the Poisson Process - the standard statistical approach to modelling random events across a period of time. First, it calculates the player's "dirty time". This is the percentage of his time that he spends "dirty" (ie returning a positive results if sampled). This is driven by the type of drug and how frequently it's taken. (Drug detectability times were taken from a public source.)

The next key statistic is the number of tests faced across the career. This is a function of the number of tests by the league per year, the number of players in the league and the number of years spent playing in the league.

Using the player's "dirty time" and invoking the PASTA principle (Poisson Arrivals See Time Averages), the arrive strike parameter is computed. Based on this the model works out the probability distribution (pmf) for a player getting a strike zero times, once, twice, three times and so on before the player's name goes public: that is, before the "allowed strikes" are all used up.

The model assumes constant testing and drug use rates. In practice, this is likely to vary throughout the year. For example, the six week test-free drug binge at the end of the year is not taken into account. Nor is "target testing", where risky players are selected. Should the AFL decide to make public the details of how this is done, the model can be updated.

For now, it is a useful rough guide based on public information. Your mileage may very, so please keep your usage conservative.

*** UPDATE ***
This footy drug-use calculator was used to calculate the statistics for my Crikey piece last week, A 1% chance: The stats on the AFL's farcical drug regime, arguing that the AFL's drugs policy is weaker than the NRL's: with fewer tests and more strikes, it offers much less deterrence.

Word Count: 1013

Tags: footy, drugs

Ben Cousins Arrested and Sacked for Drugs

West Coast Eagle's great Ben Cousins has fulfilled all our expectations with a spectacular flame-out that has left the football world reeling. He was arrested by detectives in Perth, charged with drug offences and then promptly sacked by his club. While he has thrown away his $800K/year career, he can now indulge freely in his great love - drug-taking.

It hardly came as a surprise. The weeks after the finals are traditionally a time for footballers to get a little crazy. Maybe take some extra risks. For Cousins, the temptation was just too great.

Cousins' A Goner.
Source: Daily Telegraph.

Here's how Ben Cousins' horror day, October 16th, 2007, played out:

In a statement, police said they stopped Cousins' vehicle on Newcastle St, Perth around 11.30am after he came to their attention "due to the manner of his driving".

They allegedly found a quantity of prohibited drugs after searching the four-wheel drive vehicle.

The 29-year-old West Coast Eagles' midfielder was taken for questioning to the Traffic Enforcement Group headquarters in East Perth.

Police will allege Cousins failed to provide a sample of his blood for analysis.

Nine Network television footage showed Cousins, shirtless, being led by a detective from his vehicle to a police car, where he sat in the back seat between two officers. (The Daily Telegraph, 16/10/2007)

If you want the gory details, here's the video footage of Cousins' Walk of Shame:



Cousins' car was searched and some prescription drugs (Valium) was found. Cousins does not have a prescription for the drug, commonly used to soften the come down from crystal meth and ecstasy. Cousins refused to take a driving competency test or provide a saliva sample for drug testing.

Interestingly, Cousins was not so shy about the AFL drug tests. He passed 14 of them, despite having a raging "substance abuse problem" costing a reported $3000 per week. There are mixed reports about whether or not he asked for - and passed - a test following the death of former Weagle and mentor Chris Mainwaring. Cousins had visited the troubled "Mainy" twice in the hours before his death and Mainwaring's toxicology report revealed a cocktail of drugs, including cannabis, cocaine, ecstasy, anti-depressants and alcohol.

If Cousins has been using illicit drugs, I'm not surprised he refused a drugs test by WA police. After all, the police will not give you a week's notice before the test. Nor will they accept "sorry, can't provide a sample right now" as an excuse - unlike certain other drugs testers.

Also in Cousins' car were two young women - described as "scantily clad" - but it's not yet clear what charges they may face, if any. At the same time, his out-of-contract team mate Daniel Chick was also pulled over and investigated. A passenger in this vehicle, Nathan Greaves, has been charged with possession of cocaine and cannabis following a search of his house. Methamphetamines and "drug paraphernalia" (presumably various glass pipes and/or scales and baggies) were also found.

It looks a lot like this cosy little par-tay was interrupted by the police. The predictable whiners and apologists over at the Big Footy forum had the usual mix of conspiracy theories and heads-in-the-sand, decrying this as a "sting operation" targeting Cousins and a waste of public resources. Here's a tip kids: if you wander into the middle of a drugs sweep in your pimp-wagon and drive erratically, you'll get pulled. What's more, getting drug-affected motorists off the road is a good use of our tax dollars, regardless of how wealthy, famous or talented they are.

It seems certain that Cousins will never play professional footy again. He was already on a strict contract with the club following his very public fall from grace in March this year, triggering an expensive - but ultimately ineffective - bout of rehab. It was always doomed to failure, requiring him to, amongst things, avoid underworld figures. (Technically, just turning up to training with the West Coast Illegals constituted a breach of this clause.) His half-arsed "public apology" was that of an unrepentant man.

While his time at the top has been relatively short, he packed a lot in. Brawling with Daniel Kerr. Giving advice (along with Michael Gardiner) to outlaw motorcycle gangs over their nightclub shootings. Fleeing a booze bus on foot. Collapsing out the front of a casino late at night. These are the sorts of punk-acts that he will be remembered as throwing away his career over: an arrogant spoilt brat who believed all his own hype and, in the end, wasn't big enough where it counted.

Ben Cousins had the whole world at his feet. A good-looking rich kid with a staggering talent for footy. Adoration from millions of fans. A salary 20 times greater than others his age. The highest awards from the game, including the Brownlow Medal. He had been given "one last chance" so many times that his club was a joke. So keen were they to ensure his brilliance continued despite the damage, the League had to step in and threaten to take away premiership points to get them to act.

Well, they've finally done it. They tried everything to look the other way but, coming on top of Mainwaring's death just two weeks ago and lost sponsors, they just ran out of ladder and had to let Cousins drop. Even the players' union, under Brendon Gale, have washed their hands of him.

That a selfish drug culture has been allowed to flourish in Perth is undeniable. Many former players and leaders are calling for further action for club officials. Here at The Speccy, we're calling for an inquiry into the AFL's drug problem by an independent retired judicial figure - at the AFL's expense, not the taxpayers'. The outcome of this inquiry should determine what's happened and who's responsible before making recommendations for drug policy reform in the League.

The AFL cannot afford to wait for further careers to be destroyed - yet alone lives lost - before acting.

*** UPDATE ***
Cousins has had his (first) day in court and been allowed out on bail:

In a brief court appearance, Cousins was remanded on bail for 90 days to reappear in the same court on January 21 to face charges of drug possession and refusing to undergo a driver assessment.

Lawyer for Cousins, Shane Brennan, told the court had had spoken to police prosecutors who had agreed to the long adjournment. (The West Australian, 18/10/2007)

He is now free to return to $5,000/day rehab in the US. One can only presume that the court decided it's safe for him to leave the country on the grounds that all his drug dealers are here.

*** UPDATE ***
News services are reporting that the possession charge against Ben Cousins has been dropped. It's not yet clear if Cousins actually "found" a prescription for his Valium or if former team-mate and sparring partner Daniel Kerr (who has a conviction for fraudulently passing a Valium script) kindly sourced one for him. Or, maybe, rich people just don't need scripts?

In any case, his charge of refusing to subject himself to a drug test is proceeding:

[The West Coast Eagles] released a statement that it had been informed by the West Australian police that the charge of being in possession of a prohibited substance had been dropped.

The club noted however that, "this does not change the club position or the decision made on Wednesday to terminate Ben's contract because of repeated and serious breaches to his agreement with the club". (Sportal, 19/10/2007)

Here's more juicy details about what was found in his car, including the suggestion of "hammerheading" or (groan) "sextasy" - combining Viagra with ecstasy:

They say other drugs were found in the car including the prohibited pain-killer, OxyContin, Viagra and an anti-depressant.

A $20 note with traces of cocaine and MDMA or ecstasy, was also found on one of the passengers in Cousins' car. (ABC, 19/10/2007)

Quite the little party for a Tuesday morning, wouldn't you say? Doesn't really change much since the possession charge was always going to be tricky; all that coke and dope were carefully stashed in the other car. Not that it was Benny's gear. I mean, who on earth would leave their precious stash in Daniel Chick's car?

*** UPDATE ***
Rumours of Ben Cousins' five-day cocaine binge in LA have been confirmed. News media are reporting that he was hospitalised, after a friend, software sales manager Susie Ella, made an emergency 911 call at 5am:

THE emergency early morning call to the Hermosa Beach Police Department last week described a 29-year-old man "on cocaine not acting right". Later, the caller added, the man "has been on cocaine for the past five days".

...

The Herald has confirmed that Cousins was admitted to the Little Company of Mary hospital, in the adjoining suburb of Torrance, soon after the emergency call. Cousins remained at the hospital for two days before being discharged on Friday, November 2.

...

It described Cousins as "not acting right, is conscious and breathing". She told the operator Cousins had been on cocaine for the previous five days. She said he was "not being violent, is just scared". (SMH, 10/11/2007)

Absent a PR firm on retainer, Cousins' poor old dad Bryan was left to do the spinning while Cousins was on a coke bender and being rushed to hospital. Of more concern is that allegation that he spent a couple of nights in Sydney with the notorious Michael Gardiner - hardly the actions of a man hell-bent on getting clean.

I suspected that his "network" in LA might consist of anyone with cocaine. While this is a large group - especially in Los Angeles - I didn't think that he would end up hanging with the IT crowd. As the Yanks say - go figure.

*** UPDATE ***
In a startling admission of the impact Ben Cousins has on his team-mates, former West Coast player Glen Jakovich has spoken up about his relief at seeing Cousins sacked:

"Players will excel because the Cousins factor is gone," Jakovich said. "I truly believe players, young and older, felt intimidated by Cousins while he was in an unfit state to engage in training and team requirements.

"You can't win a premiership if things are not right off the field. It ruins team morale. (Herald-Sun, 13/1/2008)

We hear of phenomena like amphetamine psychosis and, from watching US reality crime show Cops, it looks very frightening. So while Cousins isn't a large man by any stretch, it's disturbing to think he could still intimidate the huge players in a violence-prone club like West Coast.

I guess this is one more reason to get serious about drug testing in the AFL. Those players who opt out of footy's drug culture shouldn't have to put up with intimidation by their colleagues.

Citations: The Daily Telegraph, 16/10/2007; The West Australian, 18/10/2007; Sportal, 19/10/2007; ABC, 19/10/2007; SMH, 10/11/2007; Herald-Sun, 13/1/2008

Word Count: 1938

Tags: footy, drugs, underworld

Mixed Messages From Drug Lobby

An act of bravado or merely desperation? We're not sure, but the new AAA lobby set up to limit scrutiny of professional athletes' illicit drug use gets full marks for chutzpah. The question is whether the Australian public will swallow it.

The Australian Athletes Association ("Triple-A" as they want to be known) is a potent lobbying group comprising players' association from the AFL, Rugby Union and Rugby Leage, as well as soccer, netball, cricket and swimming. While it's been an informal lobby for some eight or nine years, they're now an incorporated body representing some 2000 of the highest-paid and most-privileged people in the country.

However, like a traditional union "peak body", its role is to bring maximum pressure to bear on decision-makers (via the public) to advance the interests of its members. It's taken two actions to date, both centred on ensuring that drug-use by professional athletes goes unscrutinised.

Firstly, they've called for special athlete-only laws that use the full weight of legislation to punish people who "do not do enough" to preserve athlete's privacy:

"Legislative protections should be introduced to penalise persons or organisations in breach of security protocols protecting athletes' records or seek to publish the same," the group said. (The Age, 20/9/2007)

Remember, this is above and beyond the existing rules and regulations that apply to everyone else. This somewhat unusual demand of enshrining their privacy rights in law - to the exclusion of any other considerations - highlights the fundamentally selfish stance of this pressure group.

The second action was a bit more predictable. Someone new to this issue might assume a peak lobby group would co-ordinate a uniform code across the various sports. But no, that might lead to increased scrutiny, more detections, more exclusions and, ultimately, less drug-taking. Instead, they're pushing hard for a "whatever you can get away with" policy:

The AAA held its first media conference on Wednesday to announce an eight-point policy on illicit drugs in sport.

It strongly argues that each sport should be allowed to formulate its own illicit policy.

...

The Australian Cricketers' Association (ACA) is negotiating an illicit policy with Cricket Australia.

"Our view is that there's been too much made of the whole two- versus three-strike approach, this is about getting the right welfare model in place for our players," said ACA chief executive Paul Marsh.

AFLPA chief executive Brendon Gale and his NRL counterpart Matt Rodwell said they supported the other sport's illicit drugs policy.

"The different deterrents in each policy is respective to their own sport and I'm not here to judge the AFL, I'm supportive of their action," Rodwell said.

Underlining the differences between sports, Australian Swimmers' Association Regan Sterry said an illicit drugs policy for swimming would focus on education, not testing. (The Age, 19/9/2007)

The sight of Rodwell and Gale slapping each other on the back for their divergent drug policies is certainly bizarre. But what else could they say? "Well done, Brendon, on getting that one past your gormless fans. I can't believe they bought that! I only wish our mugs were as dumb." Hardly.

What they're not keen to dwell on is that there are at least three - possibly five or more - AFL footballers who are continuing to play without sanction when, under the NRL policy, they would be named, shamed and banned. The idea that "cultural complexities" between the AFL and NRL justify this inconsistency is a slap in the face to thinking people everywhere.

Sure, lots of unions demand the outrageous; they fight their corner and these ambit claims all part of the public debate. But why anyone would listen to a bunch of millionaires demanding ill-conceived, uncoordinated and selfish special privileges with the effect of protecting their ability to consume illicit drugs risk-free is a mystery.

I suppose the real tragedy isn't that they ask, it's that our sports-mad and hero-worshipping public will let them get away with it.

*** UPDATE ***
As we go to air tonight, a drugs scandal is breaking on the interwebs. Hotbed of rumour and innuendo, Big Footy, hosted a thread where posters alleged that a third strike had been recorded against a player from the Unnamed Melbourne Club at the centre of the Channel Seven/AFL stoush.

I have to tread very carefully here, but here goes:

Three weeks ago, Channel 7 reported that two players from the club were on two strikes, with a number of others on one strike. The 2006 court injunction prevents the naming of three players on two strikes from 2005. The 2007 court injunction prevents the naming of the Unnamed Melbourne Club or its players. The AFL claims no one was pinged for a second strike in 2006. This means the pair of two-strikers at this club achieved this dubious honour in 2007. If the latest allegations of a third strike are true, someone at this club got pinged twice this year.

When you consider the extraordinarily and wilfully sloppy testing regime (replete with tip-offs of "random" testing, players declining to provide a sample, many players going years without a test etc) then the chances of getting picked up twice in a few months suggests some pretty bloody intensive drug use. That is, if it happened at all. We're not allowed to know. Free press? Nah. Just shut up and pay up.

Big Footy, under legal threat, has removed the thread. Others online are not so easily cowed nor prepared to turn the other cheek. (No links here, I'm afraid. Keep searching.) My understanding is that on the third strike, the player must be named. (Yes, even under the AFL's policy it will happen eventually.) However, I'm not sure what the timing is on this and I imagine officials would try to delay this until after the Grand Final, for publicity reasons.

Naturally, we'll follow this closely. If you want updates, subscribe with your newsreader (RSS) or use the email subscription box on the lower right.

Citations: The Age, 20/9/2007; The Age, 19/9/2007;

Word Count: 1030

Tags: footy, drugs

Mad Monday Threatens Melbourne

This is a warning to all Melburnians: today is the infamous Mad Monday, which means hundreds of drunk and drug-affected footballers will be roaming the streets in gangs. Many of them will be bitterly disappointed and violence seems inevitable.

Mad Monday has always been an interesting time in Melbourne. Now, it's positively dangerous. Given the large dose of negative scrutiny AFL players' drug habits have received recently, you'd think they might take it easy this year. After all, there's no sign of the Seven/AFL Gutter Feud settling. But that's not what people are thinking:

TODAY marks open season for drug users, AFL style.

Think about it for a moment, because it's a little bit scary.

This morning we kick off a two-month exclusion zone in which AFL players, in their off-season breaks, will not be tested for any form of illicit drug until pre-season training commences.

As of today's Mad Sunday sessions, 210 players from Richmond, St Kilda, Essendon, Brisbane and Fremantle will be free to take as many illicit drugs as they like, and not one of them will be tested.

From tomorrow, 125 from Melbourne, Carlton and the Bulldogs will join them.

The depressing reality is that in the current climate, the lure of drugs will be too much for some players to resist. (Herald-Sun, 2/9/2007)

Let's put those sobering remarks into context. Here's what Hawthorn great Dermot Brereton had to say about earlier Mad Monday festivities:

Brereton, who starred for Hawthorn in the 1980s and still has close contact with players through his commentator duties, said drug-taking was said to be preferred to alcohol in post-season celebrations.

"We heard rumours that somebody turned up to one of those mad Mondays and there wasn't a beer in sight ... (The Australian, 31/3/05, reported in The Speccy)

And, as is now a tradition at this time of the year, here is the photo of Eddie McGuire and friend very late indeed at one Mad Monday:


Eddie Not Faring As Well As Other Bloke
Source: Aftergrog Blog.

Of course, the image of drug-fuelled parties with pills and powders being thrown around like confetti is not the AFL's spin departments' idea of how Mad Monday should be perceived. They'd rather everyone just forgot about that and focused on the traditional, booze-soaked piss-ups instead. This is the official word from AFL HQ on the upcoming Mad Monday:

WELSH poet Dylan Thomas's famous dying words were, “I’ve had 18 straight whiskies. I think that is a record.” Dylan, you feel, would have enjoyed Mad Monday, the day when the AFL’s also-rans blow their tops like 44 kegs of beer that have done six months in the back of a ute, plus a hard pre-season. (AFL, 3/9/2007)

Yes, that's right, in a bizarre refutation of the Governments' responsible drinking message, the AFL is putting about quotes from Welsh poets who tragically drank themselves to death via media release. Is this to encourage players off the ice and onto whisky? ("Mmm, whisky - potentially fatal whisky. Do you remember how good it was?") Or is it to paint a vivid and unshakable image in the minds of the punters of utes, kegs and "piss, porn and pie" nights at the local footy club rooms? Well, nothing could be further from the truth for our manicured and well-coiffed salonistas.

Thanks to some diligent behind-the-scenes work, The Speccy is able to provide a hit-list of venues likely to attract footballers. Remember, these places will be over-charging you for drinks (to ensure the players sip water for free in the VIP room). They will also attract women (and a few misguided men) looking to pick up a footballer -if only in for ten minutes in the toilet. Large groups of men will be resentful of this and the risk of fights means it is not worth attending.

Please avoid the following suspected footballer haunts:

• Prince of Wales Hotel in St Kilda (scene of alleged brawl involving Fraser Gehrig, Michael Voss and the others.)


• Ocean Blue in Port Melbourne (scene of car park assault involving Chris Tarrant and Ben Johnson)


• Motel in South Melbourne (as featured in documentary Footy Chicks)


• The Saint and the Vineyard in St Kilda

Ironically, the safest venue is town for the next couple of days might be Spearmint Rhino, the lap-dance club that served us starting point for Alan Didak's Hell Ride. After his little adventure, it's now one of the few places where Collingwood players are banned from attending.

In any case, please keep your head low. Stock up on essential products (like pepper spray and drink-spike detectors). Warn others. And - hopefully - we'll catch you on the other side.

*** UPDATE ***
It's been a slow Mad Monday. Either the players were unusually well-behaved or the venue operators and media have been gagged. After scouring the mainstream media and footy forums, this is the most salacious story I could turn up:

Hawthorn players Lance Franklin and Trent Croad were invited to MTV's Superbad movie premiere after-party, but didn't impress organisers with their attempts to get the entire team into South Yarra's Tryst bar.

The boozed-up bunch were turned away after hitting the nearby Bridie O'Reilly's pub on Chapel St for most of the day, as part of Mad Monday celebrations. (Herald-Sun, 19/9/2007)

Jeez. Even the West Coast Eagles are having a locked-down Mad Monday, with security guards in place. Chairman Dalton Gooding explains that "They’ve got plans and processes in place," and said they players would be "Very responsible, be very tight, stay among themselves and just show restraint."

Pretty bloody lame. C'mon, surely there was some ugliness somewhere?

*** UPDATE ***
Not necessarily ugly, but the Sunday Age reports that Hawthorn's Lance "Buddy" Franklin might be about to go vegetarian: at least, that's their explanation why Buddy was loudly stating "I'm off my chops!" at the Leederville Hotel in Perth. There's going to be a lot of disappointed Hawthorn fans if they're relying on this bloke for their tilt at the premiership.

Citations: Herald-Sun, 2/9/2007; AFL, 3/9/2007; Herald-Sun, 19/9/2007

Word Count: 1028

Tags: footy, drugs, sleaze, booze

Channel 7 Goes Nuclear On AFL

On the day that Channel 7 was to be served papers by the West Coast Eagles over the Akermanis/Braun drug-cheating affair, Seven has taken "the nuclear option" by breaking one of the largest drug-scandals yet seen in AFL history. It seems the open war has been declared, with the battle already being fought out in court. With no sign of change in how the AFL executive's handles a culture steeped in widespread and persistent recreational drug use, get used to seeing stories like this.

Yesterday, Friday 24th of August, Channel 7 began hinting at an upcoming scandal and "seeding" the story on the afternoon news bulletins. From mid-afternoon, internet chat rooms and discussion forums where a-tingle with buzz, rumours and a sense of dread. While Seven had indicated it was a Melbourne-based club, among the fans, "God, I hope it's not my club" was a common refrain.

Seven News carried the story, which was picked up by all the media:

DEVELOPING STORY: A TELEVISION news report has accused two ******** footballers of taking the illegal drugs ecstasy, ice and cocaine during drug-fuelled nightclub sessions.

Channel 7 News tonight showed medical notes supposedly from a drug counselling session with the two ******** players.

A woman, Catherine, who spoke to the network on condition of anonymity, said she found the medical files with details of the drug use in a gutter outside an Ivanhoe clinic.

The medical records, which were shown with players names obscured, said the players had tested positive to ecstasy, ice and cocaine. They had taken the drugs with a group of other people.

Channel 9 reported Catherine had been paid by Channel 7 for the interview that obscured her identity. (PerthNow, 23/9/2007)

Other sources are reporting that up to seven players at the club are involved, though this is not confirmed in the press today.

THE AFL illicit drugs policy was in crisis last night as confidential medical records identifying two players who had tested positive to illegal drugs were sold to a commercial television station.

[ ... ]

The documents also contain claims that other players at the club regularly use drugs.

... The report did not identify the players but did disclose their club, as well as details about the frequency and nature of their drug use.

[ ... ]

The documents, which were paid for by Channel Seven, appear to be medical records of two players, referred to Ivanhoe's Victorian Addiction Centre by the clubs.

[ ... ]

Lawyers acting for the doctor treating the players — Professor Gregory Whelan — sought and obtained an injunction last night, preventing publication of the players' names or the club they represent. During its news program, Channel Seven said it had decided not to identify either player at the present time but was "continuing our investigations".

A woman interviewed as part of the Seven report claimed she found the papers in the gutter outside the Ivanhoe facility and could not return them because a gate to the centre was locked.

"I was just walking down the street when I saw some papers floating. I thought I'd pick them up and put them in the bin … I had a look and I recognised the names," said the woman, whose identity was obscured by the network. "I thought it was a shame I'd found them in the street."

Instead, she said, she sold the records to Channel Seven because she thought it would help the players involved. The Age understands the claim that the papers were found in the gutter is disputed. The centre's management said last night that it had no comment. (RealFooty, 25/8/2007)

Just after 6pm last night, Channel 7 got an injunction to prevent the club being named further in the media, with the AFL stating "Any media agency who intends to re-produce or re-publish any information to which the orders apply run the risk of being in contempt of court in doing so."

Today, this injunction was extended to the 30th of August. Once again, powerful wealthy parties are using the courts to prop up their money-making businesses at the expense of free speech. Once again, modern media technology renders the whole process pointless, since the club's name featured heavily in the titles and main text of numerous articles and discussion groups.

This scandal has intensified pressure on the AFL with it's lenient and much-maligned "three strikes" drugs policy. AFL CEO Andrew Demetriou went out on the front foot today, decry the leak, bringing in the police and threatening further legal action. Interestingly, he praised sections of the media that knew about the story but refused to publish:

Demetriou said he was at least pleased that several media outlets had apparently rejected the private documents, allegedly found on a suburban street.

"This story yesterday was actually offered to many media outlets who chose not to run it which I commend them on, chose not to purchase it, which I also commend them on. (Brisbane Times, 25/8/2007)

This shows the danger of going up against a media outlet: they know where bodies are buried. It also raises a pointed question: would this scandal have come out if Seven and the AFL weren't presently feuding? What other stories are widely known in media circles but held back from the public by "gentlemen's agreements" - or mutual self-interest?

While the AFL defends its drug-testing policies and record, it belies the now-popular view that something is seriously wrong. It's not just a few bad apples. It's not restricted to the West Coast Illegals, or even a particular state. It seems something is going wrong across the board, and the AFL must be powerless, uninterested or inept at getting on top of the problem. They seem more focused on stopping the bad news getting out than stopping the party drug usage.

How else can you explain:

• a mere 500 tests a year for 650+ players?


• a Hawthorn player refusing to provide a urine sample - and escaping sanction?


• a lengthy and costly court case last year, involving QCs and the Federal Police, to silence the media about details of player drug use?


• further court restrictions on free speech this year about similar matters?


• Port Adelaide players being correctly tipped off in advance about the supposedly "secret" drug testing regime instigated by ASADA?


• ASADA's investigation into this leak consisted of one guy informally asking around for a few days, in contrast to the full dog-and-pony show we're seeing now.

Sadly, the AFL seems very uneven in how it approaches drugs leaks: ones that suppress publicity are quietly swept aside, while ones that drive publicity are stepped on with their full resources.

It's been a big season for the League's drug dealers, with no signs of it slowing. The Ben Cousins drug scandal set the tone for the whole season. Daniel Kerr's taped conversation and Alan Didak's Hell Ride showed up the spill-over dangers of AFL players associating with those in the drugs trade.

By comparison, the Jason Akermanis/Michael Braun fiasco is tame and genteel. Is the West Coast Eagles management (through Michael Braun) really going to let Channel 7's lawyers loose on its internal documents as part of the "discovery phase" of a law suit? Now that they've dropped the H-bomb once, don't be surprised if the AFL backs away from pursuing Seven further over this one.

These scandals will be a constant feature of the game as long as we have a weak testing regime (a "shemozzle" in one player's words) coupled with a secretive, litigious and defensive executive and player union. Rather than just getting it all out in the open, the current setup encourages the media into the kind of cat-and-mouse games that drives the scandal drip-feed we're seeing now.

Maybe Demetriou needs to think about ripping the oozy Band Aid off in one vicious go, rather than having it slowly dragged off one painful hair at a time.

NB: References that identify the club in question have been removed, in accordance with the court injunction.

*** UPDATE ***
More breaking news in the story that ensures the AFL Season 2007 finishes the way it started, with a bitter taste in the mouth left by the public having to swallow something very unpleasant.

• The AFL was effectively calling "barley" by pointing out the allegation of a second positive from one player are wrong, since the amount recorded was allegedly "below the legal threshold for the allowable limit for drugs". This sees the AFL spin doctors sink to a new low in "school-yard lawyer" tactics. We look forwards to seeing other childish legal precepts like "you touched it last" and "no returns" employed in court later this week.


• Nathan Buckley, former AFL shop steward, stepped in and declared that AFL players may well abandon the entire (and apparently optional) illicit drug-testing process: "I can't see how the players would put their hands up to be exposed to something that we don't actually have to be a part of." Not that it seems to inconvenience them anyway, with these absurdly low positive rates.


• The feud between the AFL and Channel Seven has ratcheted up a notch, with threats that footballers will boycott the Seven-broadcast Brownlow Medal count. This is a particularly cruel blow to the solarium industry, already under pressure over recent cancer stories, regulatory scrutiny and the implications for Spring Racing over horse flu.


• The medical community has further entrenched its position on the issue with a Sports Medicine Australia statement declaring the AFL's policy "... reflects the modern approach in which those who use drugs should be treated as victims rather than criminals." There was a caveat, though, reminding the public that "... the responsibility of SMA members ... is to look after the athletes in their care".


• Victoria Police executed a search warrant on Channel Seven's Docklands HQ, presumably looking for evidence about the medical records. To date, there are no reports of the club HQ or the players in question being searched for evidence of drug use or trafficking. It's a funny old world, isn't it?


• Two people have been charged over stealing the records, and will face court in October. A 36-year-old man and a 31-year-old woman (from Ivanhoe West) have been charged with theft. To my knowledge, no charges have been laid against any of the footballers over their possession and use of drugs.

I wonder if the public's appetite for treating infrequent users of "party drugs" as "medical patients" (or "victims"!) will wane. By forcing the AFL's hand in this way, perhaps Channel Seven's actions will mean people will start to see this as it is - a discipline issue for which the AFL is ill-equipped to tackle.

*** UPDATE ***
Good Lord - this thing just keeps spiralling out of control! Now there are shocking allegations of a player at this club being an active drug dealer under investigation by the drug squad:

Det-Insp Steve Smith, head of the Victorian drug taskforce, confirmed the investigation into the high-profile player.

"Yes, we can confirm that the drug taskforce received information and that information was investigated," Det-Insp Smith said.

"But it was not taken any further because the information could not be substantiated and other operational contingencies at the time."

A source close to the AFL star said the investigated player's affinity with drugs "went to another level" when he started dealing.

"He would brag about making $10,000 a week from it," the source said. "He's had scales and cutting equipment just lying around his house. His teammates would just come over and pick it up."

The player would openly use and deal illicit substances during the Spring Racing Carnival, the source said.

"At the spring carny . . . it was rife, just out of control. Two or three times a day, every day ... he'd have it in his pocket and just do it then and there." (Daily Telegraph, 29/8/2007)

Wow. You can see why the AFL and AFLPA are fighting so hard to stop any public scrutiny of this issue. It's a powder keg waiting to blow. I think a lot of footy fans might look away about a few lines here and there. But large-scale dealing like this? We could start to see a big turn-around on this issue.

*** UPDATE ***
Here's the end-of-week wrap-up of the Medical Records Fiasco:

• The Victorian Supreme Court lives up to it's anachronistic reputation and extends the injunction suppressing further naming of the club involved (despite some 44 publications) and the identities of the various players (described by Eddie McGuire as "an open secret"). It may be reviewed in due course.


• Interestingly, some of the big names in AFL are openly questioning the AFL's drugs policy and the mis-directed attention on Channel 7, including high-profile coaches Mick Malthouse and Paul Roos, Geelong President Frank Costa and columnist Michelangelo Rucci.


• The rift between the Seven Network and the AFL players looks to continue, with officials of the players' union calling on an extended ban to continue until an apology is in place. Channel Seven is taking a hit in the ratings over this, though the effects look to be subsiding. Speculation of an apology being hammered out behind the scenes continue, but no word yet.

There's been no shortage of interest in this story, with over 6,000 hits to this page alone since it broke. Nearly all were from people looking to find the names of the players and the club referenced in the medical records. Opinions are very strong too, with the BigFooty forum going berserk. Who knows where this controversial issue will end up?

I must say I'm very impressed with the comments from Paul Roos. I think he gets it:

"I don't think (drug use) is a problem isolated to AFL football but I think the difference is AFL players have to realise that they are held to higher standards than the normal community," he said.

"Some people might argue that's unfair but you won't hear that argument from me.

"You are going to be held to higher standards, that's part of being an AFL player and being a role model.

"If you don't want to accept that, don't try to become an AFL player. That's just the reality of what they do, the reality of their job."

Roos admits he is extremely concerned about the issue, which he feels is escalating every week. (The Age, 31/8/2007)

The remarks from Mick Malthouse were damning of the effects of the current system:

"It's been a bad, bad year for the industry that is trying to convince young people and young sportsmen not to take drugs, hasn't it?" he said.

...

"The millions and millions that have been spent on `don't use drugs because it is going to do you harm' (campaign) crikey, this year has sent that down the gurgler."

And Matthews believed smarter drug testing was needed in the AFL. (The Age, 31/8/2007)

It's encouraging to see such frank assessments by senior figures being aired publicly. Hopefully, these voices are listened to and the warnings heeded.

*** UPDATE ***
Well, it looks like we can finally put this one to bed. Channel Seven has capitulated to the AFL and the players' union. The Seven Network issued an apology, withdrew from legal action against the court injunction on disclosing the ******** club and kowtowed before the unstoppable juggernaut that is footy in September:

The network, which has been the subject of a boycott from AFL players seeking retribution for running the report, issued a statement saying it regretted the damage caused.

"The Seven Network values the co-operation it receives from AFL players and sincerely regrets any damage which has been caused to our relationship with the players by virtue of a story which was aired on Friday, 24th August," the statement said.

"The network accepts the principle that the confidentiality of private medical records between a medical practitioner and his patients was paramount and critical to the treatment and welfare of a patient.

"The Commercial TV Industry Code of Practice only allows for the broadcasting of such material in any event when there is an identifiable public interest."

The statement said AFL chief executive Andrew Demetriou was pleased with the network's decision and hoped the league and its broadcast partner could continue to work strongly together.

The AFL Players' Association (AFLPA) said it was too early to say whether players would call off their boycott against the network. (The Age, 4/9/2007)

When you see the frightening ability of the AFL to silence critics and use all the commercial and legal powers of a ruthless corporation in shutting down unpalatable news stories, you have to wonder if Dylan Howard doesn't have a point when he accuses the AFL of censorship.

No doubt we'll have more to say on this topic later.

Citations: PerthNow, 23/9/2007; RealFooty, 25/8/2007; Brisbane Times, 25/8/2007; Daily Telegraph, 29/8/2007

Word Count: 2115

Tags: footy, drugs, scandals, court

Footy Players As Media Stars

The demands of generating a constant stream of opinionated drivel are well known to all bloggers, columnists and panellists. These are magnified enormously when there's a large number of competitive protagonists, a small number of available slots and a hostile, barely-literate audience. This article examines some of the AFL's high-profile mavens and their recent public snafus, including Wayne Carey and Jason Akermanis.

Wayne Carey

We've covered Wayne Carey's off-field problems in some detail already. After retirement, he's sought his fame and fortune as a Fox Sports commentator and more recently, on Channel Nine's Footy Confidential show. On another footy discussion show (yes, there's a never-ending supply of them now), Carey displayed his trademark intelligence and sensitivity with some bizarre remarks relating to Kangaroo Nathan Thompson's recovery from depression:

“It would be nice for Thommo to stay away from the Darwin cup and concentrate on his recovery and maybe he’d get back and get a kick. He’s got depression and he’s up there punting on horses - what is he thinking?" Carey, a former captain of the Kangaroos, said on The Sunday Footy Show.

But while controversial, Carey's comments have been overshadowed by an aside he made as the show returned from an ad break. Although the audio is muddied by music, Carey can be heard remarking ``... end up necking himself.''

Host Tony Jones is clearly knocked off balance by the comment, but then moves decisively to end the discussion. (Herald-Sun, 13/8/2007)

(As an aside, I'd have like to have seen the consequences if the real Tony Jones from the ABC's Lateline was hosting. Carey would have been made to look the fool he is by being held to account through a vigorous forensic grilling by an actual journalist.)

Naturally, this remark earned Carey a huge amount of public criticism and opprobrium, including some deep psychoanalysis of his own mental problems in The Age's RealFooty. Talk back was abuzz and the letters pages to the newspapers were engulfed with derision. Sub-editors had a field-day with Duck/Goose puns. In addition, various mental health advocates (including Hawk's president and chairman of BeyondBlue Jeff Kennet) weighed in. Strangely, the AFL's most respected depression expert, West Coast CEO Trevor Nisbett, was silent. Perhaps a man of his extraordinary diagnostic talent doesn't bother with such obvious cases.

At The Speccy, we don't see what the fuss is about. Carey fills a Sam Newman-esque role of drawing mug crowds by being an insensitive, controversial and thick-skinned dickhead. Mission accomplished. Do you think the producers of that particular telly show are upset by this? Or the advertisers? Hardly.

This is a man who cheats on his pregnant wife with bleached-blonde bogan bait; who provides character references for killers and drug dealers; who sexually assaults women; who betrays his wife and best mate with sexual affairs. So, no surprises that he holds "controversial" (ie neolithic) attitudes to a range of issues. What is surprising is that so many Australians wish to see him on their televisions.

Jason Akermanis

Another loud-mouthed idiot facing pressure to come up with the goods is Jason "Aker" Akermanis, playing this month for the Western Bulldogs. As the dying embers of his career flicker in the twilight, he is desperate to cement his position as an AFL insider with a knack for pulling audiences. I imagine he - and his minders - has hopes of a future as a "media personality" in the buffoonish tradition of Sam Newman. Earlier efforts at generating publicity included on-field handstands and some blogging that ultimately saw him dropped from his club, the Brisbane Lions, for criticising the coach.

His latest efforts to please his paymaster - Rupert Murdoch - saw him pen a column in which he lambasted an unnamed opposing player for "running like Superman" and performing seemingly-impossible feats of endurance. Akermanis attributed this to performance-enhancing drugs, most likely EPO:

It is best for me not to name names here, but something very similar happened to me a few years back.

I want to relate a story about an opponent who, overnight, developed an amazing ability to run a lot harder, faster and longer than he ever had before.

...

On this day, though, he out-ran me. He ran like Superman, having never shown signs of so doing before, and was still sprinting hard in the last term.

I was left thinking, "Hang on, something isn't smelling right".

...

What should I do? No idea. I have no proof, just an educated opinion based on very real experiences. (Herald-Sun, 1/8/2007)

As a result of this media stunt, Akermanis was widely condemned by all those who have a stake in the status quo: the AFL executive, the AFL Players' union, various coaches, former players and just about everyone else that doesn't want bad news.

Later, Channel 7 named the player in question as Michael Braun. His club, the drug-riddled West Coast Eagles, denied it and ASADA (the Government's Sports Anti-Doping Agency) launched an investigation. This inquiry reported back with negative findings and now Akermanis (and Channel 7) is being sued by the Eagles. He's also facing an inquiry from the AFL over bringing the game into disrepute.

While Akermanis has been totally self-serving in his goals, I must admit to a begrudging respect. (Not least because he knows Auslan and is learning Japanese.) It's clear the AFL is not interested in finding out about drug cheats: how else can you explain 500 tests a year for 650 players? How else can you explain letting players get away with not providing a sample if they don't feel like it? There's even doubts about whether or not they test for EPO as a matter of course.

But what is really troubling is that the body charged with the testing - ASADA - is hopelessly compromised. Remember, just a month or so before Akermanis wrote his article, Port Adelaide was correctly tipped off about upcoming ASADA testing. With very little in the way of media scrutiny, ASADA quietly conducted its own investigation into how the leak happened. They concluded it was a "mystery" (their words, not mine). The AFL said it was "comfortable" with this outcome (again, not my words).

ASADA issued a statement clearing itself of criticism and refused to discuss the manner or conduct of its self-investigation. As a result, we can have no confidence in this body and the fact that it's given Braun the "all-clear" sheds no light on whether or not he actually is a drug cheat. This is very sad, not least for Braun, who - if he is clean - deserves to have that established by a credible authority. It's also a problem for Akermanis' legal team in mounting a defence.

While all this was unfolding, another loud-mouth staring down the barrel of obscurity was using the drugs issue to desperately raise his profile: Peter Everitt. Occasional TV panelist, "Spida" has come out decrying how players now use addiction as a "free-pass" for bad behaviour and describing the drug-testing regime as a "shemozzle". Of course, he is completely right. But the fact that he gets attention for stating the obvious indicates something is seriously wrong.

Is it acceptable that the AFL's own incompetence and cynical manipulation of these matters provides a platform for advancing the post-career media prospects of these people? In an environment where "shut up and we can keep taking their money" is the dominant view and people are encouraged not to rock the boat, it's inevitable that self-aggrandising opinion-leaders are "forced to" (that is, get away with) resorting to public allegations like this.

In the cases of both Wayne Carey and Jason Akermanis, the desire to create controversy and get headlines has damaged the game. Both have put their interests first. In this, their actions are merely a continuation of career-long practices for which they have both been well rewarded.

*** UPDATE ***
It turns out that Jason Akermanis suspected up to five AFL players were cheating with performance-enhancing drugs. The players in question were tested by ASADA - after a suitable delay, naturally. (No-one wants any nasty surprises.) They're all clean. If only we could have reasonable confidence in ASADA's ability to conduct these kinds of drug detection operations.

Citations: Herald-Sun, 13/8/2007; Herald-Sun, 1/8/2007

Word Count: 1347

Tags: footy, media, drugs